OMG, She Wants Me to Eat Her Pussy!
Remember this post? This piece at The Age brings us back to straight women who sleep with other women and hold on to their straight identity.On Jen Sincero’s experience as the author of The Straight Girl’s Guide to Sleeping with Chicks:
In San Francisco, the Western world’s honorary gay capital, she also encountered opposition.
“I’m in trouble with some activist women because I refuse to say I’m bisexual,” says the author, who is open about her relatively limited – but “really, really hot” – sexual experiences with women.
I don’t consider myself an activist woman, but sleeping with chicks and refusing to say you’re bisexual pisses me off too. It wouldn’t be so easy to sleep with other women if people weren’t OUT and fighting to make lesbian, gay, bi or queer sex accepted in our society. When you have sex that isn’t straight without uping the queer number it’s a huge fuck you to all of us who get harassed in the streets for just kissing our partners. You know… like you do with your boyfriend or husband while people walk by and go “Oh, Isn’t love sweet?”
Do I think it’s okay for lesbians to sleep with men and gay men to sleep with women and not ID as bi? Yes, I do. It’s all about straight and not straight and a change in queer IDs doesn’t raise the amount of “normal” people in the world.
Has anyone read this book?
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Totally off topic – I got to watch LOGO for the first time last night. :)
OK, now I’m going to have to buy it. I’ll send it to you after I’ve read it. Freakin’ straight people bother me.
you *must* come back with a review!
Did you see the readers reviews at Amazon? I couldn’t make them up. Here’s an example:
“I’ve been lusting after my daughter’s first grade teacher for months and feeling really weird about it. I finally found this book and it not only made me feel good (normal) but it helped me get a date! It’s full of practical advice, sexy pictures, funny funny writing….I highly recommend it for the bicurious as well as just anyone who likes sleeping with women. It will make you better in bed. I promise. It will also make you laugh.”
But lusting after that teacher while insisting on your straight privilege is a total slap in the face to people who claimed queer and other marginalized identities – no matter how someone like this author tries to rationalize it. Can you feel “normal” lusting after this woman only if someone tells you that you still get to be straight? If you fall in love with this woman, do you get to invalidate the relationship, her feelings, or your feelings by saying how “straight” you are?
I guess I’m just not hip enough or pomo enough to get the appeal of the book’s premise when Miss Thang’s feel-good pussy romp stems from the times I stood up, got gay-bashed, had to leave my apartment, lost friends, etc.
All in good fun, right? Btw, I did all that stuff up there sober b/c I’m ok with taking responsibility for my actions. It’s disappointing to hear from the reviews about the booze that’s involved in a straight’s pick-up. Ever heard of therapy to get over shame and internalized homophobia? I hear it’s nearly as good as three apple martinis. Who knew?
At what point do you become bi, and at what point do you remain straight while fucking the same sex? Simply when you say so? Has _Alice in Wonderland_ taught us nothing about the philosophy of language? Words just can’t mean anything b/c you feel like it. Language actually *does* things out in the world. *sigh* I hate the idea that I would sit here and try to tell someone what her/his identity is b/c I hate when anyone tries that with me. I’m all for self-definition, but the refusal to own the homophobic dynamics of the book’s premise bothers me.
“At what point do you become bi, and at what point do you remain straight while fucking the same sex?”
Interesting question. It’s kinda like saying “Are you bi if you have EVER had sex with women and men… or does bi turn into straight or gay after a certain amount of time without being with one of the sexes?” *shrug* It all boils down to identity. As you know, I’m not a big fan of the bi label – there aren’t just two sexes in my mind and I don’t like how bi is assumed to be an attraction towards bio-males and bio-females. I guess it’s not really an issue with “bi” – but with the assumption of which two sexes it refers to. I feel like I could ID as bi for having sex with bio-women and trans partners. I see those as two different sexes. Bi = 2 – but it doesn’t equal any two, and that’s my problem with it.
And it’s not just you… I’ll never be pomo enough (although I *really* like the feel and sound of “pomo femme”) to be okay with those who run to “straight” when times are tough.