I’m conflicted about ex-gays. Since I believe homosexuality is genetic and is within us whether we choose to act on our feelings or not, It’s hard for me to believe that one could just learn to un-queer themselves. However, it’s also not my place to tell someone they aren’t an ex-gay or shouldn’t work towards being one if it’s what they want.

Yesterday I clicked over to xgweblog: blog of a former gay guy from a post on blogging from eKapa about reparative therapy and ended up even more lost in the ex-gay world than I was before where I got to this post:

Do you think masturbating to heterosexual fantasies assists in the change process?

I would say an emphatic NO for the following reasons:

* The root causes of the SSA are not touched or healed in any way, so the SSA will always remain
* Heterosexual fantasy can easily lead to homosexual fantasy which would reinforce the old way of thinking
* Viewing women as mere sex objects is merely exchanging one sexual dysfunction for another
* Masturbation is a sign of immaturity, the very immaturity many guys with SSA wish to overcome

post continues

I’m no so sure that heterosexual fantasies easily lead to homosexual ones (if you’re not queer, that is). And I certainly don’t think ridding yourself of all sexual fantasies is a healthy thing to do. I would have imagined a man who wanted to become straight would be encouraged to fantasize about women, but the above post leaves me feeling that there are those who leave a homosexual life and end up with a non-sexual life instead of a heterosexual one.

For those of you interested in ex-gay politics, Ex-Gay Watch is a great blog to check out (I read it regularly) and Anything but Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth is a good read too.