Ritch C. Savin-Williams’ new book, The New Gay Teenager, argues that the majority of teens who have attractions to or sexual relationships with others of the same sex do not call themselves gay. I completely agree. I didn’t know anyone in high school who identified as gay. I didn’t identity as gay during most of my teen years. I identified as gay in college. I now identify as queer.

Here’s where things get problematic. When I read the review below from Amazon.com, I didn’t know exactly how to take the comment in bold.

Adolescence is no picnic–but is it especially hard for gay teens? Ritch Savin-William’s ground-breaking book reveals that being young and homosexual is not the identity crisis we might expect. Today’s teenagers are more at ease with homosexuality–and with a more flexible and shifting view of human sexuality in general–than their parents’ and grandparents’ generation. With a conversational style, personal history, and intimate interviews with teens, Savin-Williams transforms research into a great read. At a time when adults argue passionately over who has the right to do what with whom, kids must be laughing behind their backs.

If kids really are laughing, it’s because they have yet to deal with the type of discrimination they will see when they are adults. Many of the teens that do not identify as gay will one day. Many of them will want to marry their partners. Many of them will want to start a family. They will want to be able to provide for themselves and their families regardless of their sexual orientation or gender expression.

The tone of this review makes it seem like adults out there fighting for gay rights could learn a lesson from teens who do not yet need to care as much about rights regarding their identity as they one day will.

I just hope we can all remember that it took a long time to be able to laugh.

I’m wondering what type of tone will be present in the book. It hasn’t yet been released. I’m thinking I may be coming back to this in the future…