Hi. My name is Sarah, and I have a confession. It’s something I’ve known for a while but was scared to admit – but here I am now, 21 years old, and I’m ready to say it out loud.

I like to pick my nose.

Another confession… I like girls. Kind of silly that it’s a confession, right? Confession implies guilt or shame, kind of like digging deep to get those hard-to-reach bogies – so I take it back.  I don’t have another confession. I have a fact to tell you. I like girls, and I like singing about girls.

One of my friends is convinced that’s how I get the ladies – maybe she’s right, but I like to think it’s really due to my love of organic chemistry, secret clarinet skills, or long history with uncomfortable situations. Either way, you should check out my band. We’re called Finding Jupiter, named after the largest, gassiest planet in our solar system. I swear our music is free of organic chemistry and clarinet playing, but I can’t promise that it’s free of uncomfortable situations. I mean, the first song on our album is called “Hey Whitney.” Who is this Whitney, and why am I saying “hey”? I am not going to tell you.

If you want to find out and crave some kickass music, go to our website to listen now at findingjupiter.com

What the network should be focusing on this year are what no one is talking about right now the VMA’s coming in under a few weeks from LA’s Nokia Theater. They really sound lame this year because there is no major headliner or opening act and no big celeb deaths like Michael Jackson to draw the interest. Maybe too many celebs testing for the Clap? j/k.

But no Madonna, no Britney Spears, no Lady Gaga performances. Lame. Is this going to be a cheesy bubble explosion of Katy Perry coming out of icing with Jack Black peeing on a rainbow that ends with Kanye West and Taylor Swift jumping around like Glee lovers holding hands into eternity? Lady Gaga will probably be the most talked about thing at the show but how many outfits will she be putting on just to get up and accept awards all night long. We wanted to hear her perform at least!

Their focus of silly foursquare check-ins such as Facebook wanting to get into the location business instead of its core business will make these companies finally see this bubble bursting when people laugh and start hiding check-ins or use them for blackmail purposes. Hopefully someday MTV will focus on their music or at least more of the drama as Justin Timberlake begged the network to do a few years ago..

My predictions for 2010 for the MTV VMAs are that it could turn out to be the lamest in years. Last years from NYC Radio City Music Hall will be hard to top with Madonna, Lady Gaga, Janet Jackson, and the list goes on. They would have to at least have a SURPRISE appearance from Britney Spears to come close to last years and normally their LA version of the show sucks anyway but then again they could run an skit of Britney Spears checking into a STD clinic via their ridiculous Four Square App right? or have Lindsey Lohan appear which I am sure they will do anyway before she goes back to rehab.

The point of mentioning that song was to bring in its subject matter which was, famous gay people of history. I am sure my co-writer would not mind me sharing some of the lyrics (in italics) with you as I run through some of the more unexpected gay people from the past.

There is often doubt over far back historical characters and their sexuality. Examples:

‘Frederick the Great, Peter the Great, Alexander the Great, not one of them straight.’

And sometimes there is room for a lot of speculation. I just checked out a list on a site and it has Saladin the Sultan of Egypt and Syria listed as a famous gay man. Famous for sure, but how do they know? Where’s the evidence? The site did have a list of sources actually, but my point here is that history can quickly become myth, so to say for 100% certainty that, for example, Alexander was gay, is to make assumptions based on ancient chatter. To be certain or our famous GLB folk we need to be more up to date:

‘Herman Melville, and Marcel Proust – and all the boys that Hadrian the first seduced.’

I know Hadrian wasn’t that recent, but it’s a fun rhyme for Proust who, let’s face it, could do with some jollying up. Also on the list was Cole Porter, no surprises there except he was also married, but that’s what some gay men did in those days, and perhaps he really was bisexual. (And, as an aside, if you want clear examples of list and story songs then look at Cole Porter, the master of the list song: Let’s do it, You’re the top, I get a kick out of you, and more or less anything from Anything Goes.)

‘Kenneth Anger loved the men he’d fetter, David Hockney likes his men much wetter.’

Also on that site and its list were Andy Warhol, Noel Coward and Oscar Wilde, and you are probably not surprised to see these great people listed. But what about some of the others?

‘Edward the second, Richard the Second, James the first, it’s been reckoned.’

Pope Julius III (1550 – 1555), Marie Antoinette, Pope Benedict IX (1032 – 1044), Pope John XII (655 – 964), the list goes on, and is not restricted to Popes or aristocracy who lost their heads.

‘There’s William Shakespeare, and Marlow too, and Sophocles, Euripides to name a few.’

But what I did notice from this list, and the list we came up with for our song, is how many talented people there were. Of course there is no reason why GLB folk should not be talented, I didn’t mean it like that, and there are thousands of talented straight people from history, but some of the greats are here – I mean the really greats. From Alexander and the others who were actually called ‘Great’ to the painter of the Sistine chapel, Michelangelo, the inventor of economic theories in the 20th century, John Maynard Keyes and the inventor of just about everything else, Leonardo de Vinci.

‘…And Gertrude Stein, whose brownies would have fattened Ida Rubenstein
And who can forget Divine? That’s what John Waters taught us…’

‘Hans Christian Anderson, Walt Whitman and Virginia Woolf,
And that’s not all
There’s Lady Una Troubridge, and Radclyffe Hall.’

So it seems to me, that whatever way you look at it, being gay means that you are in good company. Such good company that it makes you wonder who the straight folk have to be proud of.

Nixon’s career began at age 12 with a role in Little Darlings, and by 18 she had roles in two Broadway plays simultaneously. She was a successful New York actress, but HBO’s Sex and the City catapulted her into stardom. Since the series ended, Nixon has taken a variety of roles, including Eleanor Roosevelt in HBO’s Warm Spring and a frazzled mother navigating a child with ADD. She has worked on both theater and film projects since the end of the series, choosing roles that offer both a challenge and a distinctly different character than Miranda.

In 2004, the New York Daily Post and New York Daily News outed the New York actress. With grace, she maintained her privacy but didn’t hide her relationship, taking the scandal out of her outing. Nixon’s partner, Christina Marinoni, is a community organizer in New York City. Nixon and Marinoni are raising Nixon’s two children, and while she is an involved parent, she does cheerfully celebrate the benefits of having four parents available.

Activism and advocacy work plays an important role in Nixon’s life. After battling breast cancer in 2006, she remains active with the Susan G. Komen foundation. Cynthia Nixon’s children attend New York public schools, and she works to support the schools, ensure adequate funding, and provide for teachers. In the last two year’s Nixon has taken an active role speaking out on gay and lesbian issues, including marriage and adoption. As of May 2009, Nixon and Marinoni are engaged to be married. Cynthia Nixon received an honorary award for her work on gay and lesbian civil rights issues from GLAAD in March of 2010.

The follow-up to the first hugely successful “Sex and the City” soundtrack, which debuted on Billboard’s Soundtrack chart at number one and its Top 200 chart at number two, will feature an exciting lineup that includes several platinum artists and consists of 17 songs. The announcement was made today by WaterTower’s Jason Linn.

Sex and the City 2 will have a all-star soundtrack released

The soundtrack will include original music from Grammy and Academy Award® winner Jennifer Hudson, along with global superstar, multi-platinum recording artist and three-time Grammy Award nominee Leona Lewis. T-Pain produces a new song by platinum-selling Cee-Lo and international superstar Dido also contributes an exclusive new track. Grammy, Emmy, Golden Globe, Tony and Academy Award® winner Liza Minnelli covers Beyonce’s chart-topper “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” and 12-time Grammy Award winner Alicia Keys performs her own extraordinary new version of the Blondie classic “Rapture,” produced by Salaam Remi, who has worked with Amy Winehouse and Wyclef Jean.

The soundtrack also features the stars of “Sex and the City 2,” Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon, performing the Helen Reddy classic “I Am Woman.”

The full track listing is as follows:

1. Alicia Keys – “Rapture”
2. Dido – “Everything to Lose”
3. Cee-Lo – “Language of Love”
4. Erykah Badu – “Window Seat”
5. Natacha Atlas – “Kidda”
6. Michael McGregor – “Euphrates Dream”
7. Liza Minnelli – “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)”
8. Ricki-Lee – “Can’t Touch It”
9. Alicia Keys – “Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down”
10. Jennifer Hudson and Leona Lewis – “Love Is Your Color”
11. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon – “I Am Woman”
12. Sex and the City Men’s Choir – “If Ever I Would Leave You”
13. Sex and the City Men’s Choir – “Sunrise, Sunset”
14. Sex and the City Men’s Choir – “Till There Was You”
15. Shayna Steele, Jordan Ballard, Kamilah Marshall – “Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered”
16. Liza Minnelli with Billy Stritch – “Ev’ry Time We Say Goodbye”
17. Aaron Zigman – “Divas and Dunes”

So, the boys realize that the girls deserve more respect than they’re getting with prodding from Will, Sue does Vogue, Tina stands up for herself and Rachel, Finn, and Emma all wrestle with issues surrounding sex. Jesse pressures Rachel and she eventually says no. Santana pressures Finn and he says yes. Emma tries, and finally says no…all choreographed to Like a Virgin. More interestingly, Rachel claims she did and Finn claims he didn’t. Will tells Emma she needs to get help and he needs to get a divorce. Finn and Mercedes join the Cheerios to take starring roles they don’t necessarily get in New Directions, convincing Sue simply with “Mercedes is black. I’m gay. We make culture.” Sue tells us that Madonna is all about power, and Rachel, Emma and Santana all take their own, as do Mercedes and Kurt in their own way.

There’s no discussion of Glee without a discussion of being gay on Glee. While Madonna is certainly an icon in the gay community, Kurt plays a minor role in this episode. It seems likely we’ll see a much more Kurt-centered episode when it’s Lady Gaga’s turn on Glee. While Kurt is the only openly gay character on the show, we’ve seen multiple references to bisexuality on the part of both Santana and Brittany. The two girls offer to let Finn watch them make out and in an earlier episode, they casually mention having had sex. Fox’s official Glee Wiki lists the two as “Best Friends. With Benefits.” There’s certainly no arguing that Glee plays with stereotypes, allowing characters to be weak, flawed, and very human, whether they’re gay, straight or bisexual.

I am really disgusted with this oil disaster right now. I think we need to put more of the tax focus on energy and more taxes on gasoline at the pump. We have got to get away from our oil dependency. I would even go with nuclear before buying more oil from terrorists and to cargo oil all over the ocean. Of course, the world would be a much better place if we would have made Exxon pay for their damage years ago because this created an environment where anyone can get away with an Oil Spill and not pay the consequences.

I am also concerned that our spending is out of control we do need to keep taxes reasonable so that companies and people do not move to other countries. The Tea baggers have lots of good points and it makes me want to join them if they weren’t racist hypocrites. Then they make statements about microchips in people but want less government. But some of the sain people such as Ron Paul make good points in the unfair taxes for some while others get by without paying taxes at all when some should (they are probably getting more use out of Federal facilities than the people paying for them for free).

I also think that gays should get every federal right such as marriage. GLBT are paying taxes and deserve to be treated like every other tax paying citizen. While I agree that the Arizona law went to far at discrimination I do feel we have got to do something when it comes to illegals mooching off our system. If someone is living off our healthcare and driving uninsured cars down the highway these people need to be addressed.

We need to focus on incentives for companies more to build stronger internet backbones, faster rails, and curing diseases and viruses such as HIV and cancer. Private companies need greater support doing these things and much larger tax or cash incentives. We want to be the first here in America and want to make sure our bio-techs are focused on science that can save lives and not things like Ambien and Restless Leg Syndrome just to make a quick profit.

We have to make sure the FDA does not stop any more natural supplements such as Almonds or something like Vitamin D. We have to protect natural ways to keep healthy and make sure there are no toxins in these products at the same time. That will be hard but we have to do it. We should also make it where natural pain killers or a natural inflammatory such as THC/Pot are available and we should be able to grow anything in our own yard. This is a freedom we must have to be a real America and get away with having to buy things like this from the drug lords in Mexico.

Finally, I feel that Churches that do not do a certain amount of community service SHOULD pay taxes. If the church is not doing say 50% community service besides preaching and activism why are they getting by without paying taxes just like any other business? They are a business they need to be taxed.

I feel that the news is not really worth watching lately. I get more quality stuff out of the Daily Show than anything and still fast forward through Keith Olbermann or Rachel Maddow. Most of my factual news comes from the Yahoo.com homepage and if I want opinions I turn over to MSNBC.

There will always be a controversy about the age of models appearing in gay porn. I am talking about the younger models here of course, as anyone who can prove that they are over 18 years of age may appear in pornography if they so chose, straight or gay, and heaven knows I’ve seen enough retired men and women making some pension-boosting money from appearing in porn movies.

But, if someone has proved that they are over the minimum age, why should there be a controversy? We’ve seen, in the past, some well known models (or those who went on to become well known) get themselves caught up in a ‘scandal’ for one reason or another. Lying about their age at the time is a common one, and unscrupulous producers knowingly using under-age models is another, though thankfully less common, reason.

In the USA there is a code called Title 18, section 2257, sometimes simply known as ‘2257’. This is a requirement of producers of adult material to be able to prove the legal minimum age of their models at the time of photography, or filming. You will see this at the bottom of many pages on most porn sites, certainly all those produced in the USA should carry a link to a page, or information, where anyone can find out the address of the producer/keeper of records, and make an enquiry into the age of a certain model. If an enquiry is made then the company must be able to produce documentation backing up and proving their claim that their models were over 18 when filmed. That’s the simple version of the code. And it means that, in the USA, producers must have copies of things like driving license, ID, etc. on file, by name of model, showing that they were legally allowed to appear in porn at that time.

That’s good, it’s something that all good and respectable porn producers would want to have, and insist on having before they get a guy naked. But it actually only applies to the United States. So, when you find a company from, for example, Europe, stating their 2257 information, it actually doesn’t mean anything, legally. It has been taken as good practice by good producers, no matter what their country of residence and business. (Other countries have other laws, some have no laws at all.)

But it’s always interested me to notice that many a ‘teen’ and even ‘twink’ site that carries content featuring ‘just 18’ etc. boys will have their 2257 address of records in a place like Cyprus, or Prague. Are they really based there? Is this just a way of avoiding the legalities? And if so, why? And what happens if you are based in the Czech Republic but your servers are in America and your content comes from Spain? Where do you stand legally then? It’s a bit of a minefield.

And there is another one. What about those sites (I won’t mention names here as I don’t want to get caught up in the fuss) that feature young looking models. What’s the difference between someone who is 18 or 19 but who looks 16 or 17 appearing in a movie, as opposed to someone who is actually 16 or 17 appearing in one? Obviously it’s not legal, in most countries, to show under-age nudity and it’s probably not moral either, although that point could me argued on a personal level. And yet there are many sites around where the models look younger than they are, and we’re told that they are ‘just 18’ etc. to start with.

It looks like there is a fine line between under-age porn actors and porn actors who look underage.

Just as a final, slightly unrelated thought, I’ll leave you with this. A couple of years ago there was a controversy because a famous actor, who was then 17, appeared naked on stage, in London, in a play. You could go and see him nude live on stage, but you couldn’t show photos of him nude on the web – though people did.

Basically it’s a great, and popular, new application for your iPhone or iPod Touch or now you can even use it on your iPad. There is no messy registration process attached to it, you don’t need to enter an email address or anything, you don’t even validate your account; you simply ad the application on to your iPhone etc. And then you’re ready to use it. And you can hang out on GRINDR where and whenever you want. It’s a social networking tool for gay men, you can see who else is on, you can check photos and profiles and you can see where other guys are. These guys may be simply out and about looking for other guys to hook up with for a drink, or more, or they may be on the network searching out Mr Right, as well as Mr Right-now of course. And, once you are up and running on it, they will be able to contact you.

More specifically it also lets you see who is in your area. It maps out other users and you can, on the free versions, see around 100 other guys at a time. If you pay the full whack of $2.99 a month (yes, two-ninety-nine only) you can have up to 200 guys and no adverts on your screen. Not bad eh? You can check out more about the application at www.grindr.com, follow it on Facebook and Twitter and you’ll find it very easy to install and use.

So, you’re set up and maybe you’re on holiday in… let’s say, Australia. Want to know who else is around? Simply use your application and check the guys out. But then ponder this: many famous people are also using IPhones, and many gay guys are using GRINDR, put the two together and you’ve got the potential to hook up with your favorite gay stars, and porn stars, or how about singing stars? Back in March The Daily Telegraph reported that super-star George Michael had been using his GRINDR application to hook up with other hunky guys down under in Australia. The publication said: “At 10.16am on Monday, using the profile name Back for Wood, George Michael used Grindr to send the message “Hi there” and a picture of himself taken in a hotel room mirror to someone he liked the look of , who happened to be just 185m away, according to Grindr GPS.” (I am a little curious as to how they found out, it suggests that there may be some security issues with the application. But then I assume the guy he sent the photo to sent it on to the paper to get some quick cash.)

Anyway, the George Michael story sent me scurrying around the net to see if any other ‘names’ had been found out in a similar way. Sadly I didn’t find anyone else, but it did make me wonder. Think of your favorite porn star (Turk Melrose in my case, or Turk Mason as he’s now calling himself), and then see if you can find him via your GRINDR application. Imagine if he’s in your same hotel or just down the road. Thanks to the GPS in your phone matching up with the GPS in his, you never know who you are only a few metres or miles away from. Sadly Turk was nowhere near me when I tried it out, and I am on the other side of the world to Australia so I doubt George will be popping by tonight, but you can start to see the endless fun you can have with this ‘find him now and near’ application.

Stay tuned we will be having some contests involving iPads coming soon.

Keep in mind this is a 10-foot-tall crucifix hanging above the alter at a Catholic church. One Facebook comment makes the point “The image is quite obvious; but, I find it interesting that many people don’t… seem to notice (on a 10-foot-tall crucifix), and that 62% of people polled don’t find it offensive (whereas people sure were “outraged” when Erykah Badu exposed herself at Dealey Plaza in downtown Dallas, Texas on March 17). According to the Church, there are no plans to remove it.”

I agree that our bodes are art and so are the clothes we wear for that matter. We may be disgusted by seeing one person walk around nude but someone else we may get turned on by but when we came out of our mommies we certainly were not dressed and we bared all. We were in our birthday suits. I am surprised there is not more art that depicts nudity in our true form and the beauty of our different bodies.

Jesus in this painting definitely had something sticking out of his skirt or dress that looked mighty powerful and that was not your ordinary sized penis. I am not sure if I was in shock it was so big or because the balls were so big. In some of the same paintings dating back to this time it seemed to show more abs and images of the genitals. The crucifix hanging at this Catholic Church resembles other San Damiano crucifixes except for Jesus’ abdominal area, which is noticeably more pronounced than on similar crucifixes. Very hung if you ask me.

Could this be a sexual depiction of Jesus? Could this be a bondage type depiction? I do not think so I think it is just the way the artists captured this moment. I do find it strange that some captured abs in that area that look similar and this painting has a full out private part sticking out for the world to see.

The Catholic Church certainly has their problems with some Priests who are pedophiles (people who molest children) which has been confused with gays serving in the church. There is a big difference there because gays are not pedophiles they are attracted to the same sex of someone who is consenting adult. But this Vatican problem is something that has been crippling the church and as for the artwork it is certainly not going to be a problem because it has been around for thousands of years and no one has bothered to remove the genitalia from the paintings as they should not.

What this will do for gays and lesbians is really not much too soon unless you have kids in college or children in the home. The healthcare legislation was certainly not perfect because it will take too long for the pre-existing part to kick in. It will also not put enough restrictions on the health insurance companies that are known for their heartless greed.

We also should have done something more for research in medicine in terms of vaccines and cures. It scares me to think less money could go into these areas at a time we need them the most with MRSA infections which antibiotics cannot help immediately and HIV and Cancer still out there putting people in pain and suffering.

This was an amazing Victory for the Democrats such as Pelosi and Obama. They have really worked hard on this and I am pleased it passed in some ways. It defeated all the namecalling and hate speeches that went on during this debate. The republicans went to extremes and lied to try to get this to not pass and if they would have not acted like ignorant mules and used some intellect in their discussion it may have been stopped.

Where will all of this new healthcare money come from?
There is talk of new taxes for those who make over $250,000 a year who could end up paying 2.5% instead of 1% in Medicaid taxes. There is also talk of taxes for those who drink soft drinks and a 10% tanning salon tax.

I do my tanning now and then but I think its a brilliant idea to tax tanning and high fructose corn syrup and things such as diet coke chemicals. All of the chemicals but at the same time think its a bad idea to be able to make judgments on what to tax. TAXING SHOULD BE FAIR AND ACROSS THE BOARD. The sales tax should be increased for any goods we buy that way it would hit all these families who have kids who are mooching off the system. You can sit around and have all these kids but not pay more in taxes and get more deductions?? These kids are the reason my property taxes are so high thanks to the school district I live in. Without kids it is just unfair and unwarranted to have to pay these taxes. That would be like me paying taxes for someone else to enjoy drinking or smoking. You always hear about Children benefiting from most any legislation passing.

Most of us will not benefit from this until 4 years from now unless you are on your parents health ins until age 26.

Also, we need to Tax churches!! Churches are supposed to be separated but they damn well do their indirect grubbiness into politics!

Unfortunately, the Ugandan law, The Anti-Homosexuality Bill of 2009, is expected to pass, regardless of international condemnation. In its current form, the law will condemn HIV positive individuals, those convicted of same-sex rape or sex with a minor, and serial offenders to death. If found guilty of homosexuality, life imprisonment is the penalty in other situations. Family, friends, and even landlords can face imprisonment if they fail to report someone for homosexuality.

While the international community has condemned this law and is treating it as a foreign policy issue, there are much more concerning ties to America. The initial law came to be after visits to Uganda by conservative fundamentalist American clergy; Scott Lively, Caleb Lee Brundidge, and Don Schmeirer, supporting treatment for homosexuality and religious cures and promoting intensely negative views of homosexuality. During the course of their visit, gays were accused of sodomizing teenage boys and attempting to defeat a marriage based culture. It should be noted that the three have criticized the new legislation, even though Lively met with lawmakers to discuss it.

What is being done and what can you do about gay rights so far away? President Barack Obama has publicly criticized the bill at a morning prayer breakfast on February 4, 2010 and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has phoned the Ugandan president to express very strong concerns. Take a few minutes out of your day and call your senators and representatives to encourage them to voice their condemnations of this human rights violation. If you wish to give money, options are limited to get funds directly into Uganda and Ugandan gay rights activists are largely silenced. You can opt to give to Amnesty International or the Human Rights Campaign to support international attempts to prevent this legislation.

Social networking sites are free and can be a good way to meet other GLBTQ folks in your area. Myspace, Facebook, and Glee.com are all options in terms of this sort of social networking. You can take advantage of these sites to meet people in your area, find out about interesting happenings and more. Do consider making sure your profile honestly reflects who you are, and make it more than just a personal ad. You may also want to consider privacy settings, depending upon whether or not your employer is aware of your sexuality.

The next option many people consider is a free dating site. These allow you to set up a simple profile; however, some sites do charge you to contact people with more than a wink, nod, or flirt. You may find that free accounts on paid sites are not terribly useful because of this. Some sites are entirely free; however, offer limited screening or matching tools. Freedating-sites.com/gay.html offers a list of a few free dating sites as well as noting some of the big names in commercial online dating sites that welcome GLBTQ members. OKCupid.com is free and inclusive of all sexualities. You might also find your local craigslist to be an option, but do keep in mind personal safety if you choose this path.

If you are serious about online dating, whether you are looking for a great night out or a real relationship, you may find it more helpful to consider paying for a subscription to one of the big names in online dating sites. Gay.com is a great choice for guys looking to meet someone. True.com is a welcoming and inclusive site that is a good choice for men or women. Another one of the big names in online dating is chemistry.com. You may want to note that neither of these sites is trans-friendly. Yahoo’s personals also welcome gay and lesbian individuals and can be a good way to meet other single people in your area.

There are a few things to keep in mind when trying out the online meet and greet. Be honest about yourself in your profile. You do not need to disclose that you got fired last year, really don’t like your Aunt Judy, or have a sixth toe on your right foot; however, you should be open about relationship status, what you are looking for in a partner and other important issues. Be sure to take the time to email back and forth with a potential date and always meet in a safe public location the first time.

Madonna has invested, along with other celebrities such as her manager Guy Oseary,  and Matthew McConaughey.  She is seen as a brand loyalist of the Vita Coco brand which is the best-selling coconut water in the U.S.  It is also seen as one of the fastest growing beverages in the last few months.  2010 could be a major break out year for Coconut water especially now that Madonna and others are giving it so much free publicity.

You can find Vita Coco at Whole Foods, Safeway, and over 14,000 other retailers as well as online at vitacoco.com.  Vita Coco also plans on a major partnership with GNC stores nationwide.

The difference in Vita Coco and the other brands is that they have their own production facilities or factories as some will say.  This is good because it allows for them to maintain quality control and make sure the employees are treated right.

There are other brands that are competing in this big race for your tastebuds and healthy living.  One of the brands is the O.N.E brand which is a natural drink company who is sponsoring a major gay event known as the “White Party” in Palm Springs.

But Why Coconut Water?

Coconut water contains about 700mg of Potassium in a 11.2 oz serving size.  This is 15 times more than the average sports drink.    Potassium is essential for the muscles, kidney, and digestive system to operate normally.  Doctors such as Dr. Weil do not recommend supplements such as potassium though but then again how many of us get out and eat bananas everyday.  Not me.  Orange Juice has about the same benefits I would think though.

I have not totally been sold on the benefits yet of the just coconut water but there are other flavors such as the Acai berry and Promenade Juice that may offer some benefits.

CNBC reported in their show on Coca-Cola that they will be bringing out a coconut water because its the next new thing.. but then I see Madonna has even invested in this and now today Yahoo has its Buzz marked as one of the most popular search terms.   If Madonna’s is posting a facebook announcement about it and she is looking this good at her age then we should all be drinking it.  One thing is for sure it is much better than drinking Diet Coke or any of those nasty drinks that contain aspartame and much better than the drinks with high fructose corn syrup.

This is a great way to start out the beginning of the month to see such a sweet ad from A/X. If you are searching for some Valentine’s Day gifts for your lover, husband, or wife then check out our ideas.

A quick search of the Android marketplace on my Droid Eris revealed 10 applications specifically geared toward the gay community; however, others may be a useful addition to your social life. There is a text based chat application called Gay Chat available; however, it is rather poorly rated. A more popular and more useful application is Michael Quach’s Bars & Clubs. Use this application, available free in the Android marketplace to find the closest gay bar. It will also guide you to adult book stores, happy hour, and wine bars. If you’re looking to dress up your phone with pretty pictures, image applications including Martin Mazza AdultStar and The Horniest Guys offer a low cost option. Ringtones are widely available for your Droid smart phone, regardless of your preferences. Great Lakes Development Little Black Book is a free application that allows you to manage a busy social life. Organize your dating contacts, send everyone else to voicemail when you’re on a date, and enjoy password protection for an affordable 99 cents.

The best addition to your Palm smart phone is David Demchuk’s highly rated Little Black Book organizer. Designed to be inclusive of gender and sexuality, this application allows you to keep your social life in order and avoid unwanted awkwardness. Gay city guides are available for some cities on the Palm OS, making navigating gay bars and finding the right neighborhoods for socializing easier than you might think. Add a rainbow or gay theme to your Palm Pre to give it a bit of color and style or coordinate it with your phone case.

We’ll be fair and say that the gay application options are somewhat few and far between for your Android or Palm OS phones, at least in comparison to the iPhone. Those of us without an AT&T contract probably deem it quite worthwhile to skip access to GayCommunity or Grindr in exchange for better service and our preferred smart phones.

In a way to make funds to pave the way for the new Healthcare bill our Congress has came up with a creative gesture with a 10% tax on tanning services. This could help create over 2.5 Billion in tax revenues that our government would not normally see but in a span of ten years.

Tanning is something that is similar to our sins that we do not really need. Although some doctors argue that we need it for Vitamin D, but that would only be in certain tanning beds and only for a few minutes a week versus spending every other day in the tanning bed. The light from outside is much more beneficial but only in certain parts of the US and certain times of the day.

Ten percent is really not too bad of a tax on tanning and you have to say that lots of teens spend too much money freely on things such as tanning that they could be spending on better things. Well if they are not spending it on tanning I guess they could spend it on clothes or a new iPhone or music. But we know they will probably trade sin for sin and spend it on cigarettes or beer. Tanning could be made more sexy the more it is regulated.

The indoor tanning industry is already consolidating at a rapid pace as the belts are tightening up with the recession. With companies such as Planet Tan and Palm Beach Tan with many more soon to follow they are worried about the impact of even higher costs in their salons.

Botox treatments were another cosmetic treatment that was being thrown around to be taxed or not. This was going to be called the BoTax which has the potential to generate over $5.5 billion over ten years. This supposedly could generate more than tanning taxes but the American Academy of Dermatology Association and the AMA both opposed the 5% tax on cosmetic procedures. Although, Botox and most cosmetic procedures do not have the skin cancer risk of tanning beds.

They certainly want to tax something related to this industry so we are not sure what it will be yet but what do you think? Do you think tanning salons deserve this new tax or people trying to look younger?

You’ll know when it’s time to start seriously looking for a partner, but maybe you don’t know where to go? If you live in a city, a cosmopolitan area or town then you’ll probably have access to clubs, bars and social groups to join; you could try gay speed dating or the small ads in your local or national gay paper. For certain people, in certain areas of the world, finding a partner is made easy.

But what if you don’t live in one of these places, what if you don’t like bars and clubs and what if… well, all kinds of ‘what ifs’ can be barriers to finding that perfect match.

In these cases you turn to on-line dating and partner finding. The only problem here is deciding which site to choose? There are loads of them out there but they do tend to fall into three camps: 1) What I call Hook Up sites where guys (and this also applies equally to women) are simply looking for sex, often via a shared niche or fetish. That’s another topic so we’ll pass it by for now. 2) Sites that are for folk who are seriously looking for a relationship only, perhaps staring with finding a friend first and seeing what develops. And 3) sites (such as gaydar.com) which combine the two elements of casual sex and partner finding, depending on how you write up your profile.

Back pedal to type number two: A site where you can join and search out your perfect partner. This is searching for a LTR instead of that one night stand. One site stood out called mypartner.com which is very different from the ones in camp one and three, above. It has a page explaining the system that it uses for matching you with ‘him’, it is basically a matchmaking service using a unique ‘dating experience’ cross-referencing system. It also offers two levels of service; an on-line dating one and a private one. The first you do yourself and the second they do for you.

The tour of the site takes you through the five step process as you decide what you want from your future, you learn more about yourself and ‘him’, the search starts and then you take it to the next level, the communication level, and see where things lead from there.

Start with the free trial by creating a username and entering some information; name, date of birth etc. Next you are asked for your country and, although the site seems to lean towards the USA, every country in the world is listed. This page gets you started with the age and location of your perfect partner and, after clicking ‘next’ an email is sent directly to you. This is a handy list of how everything works and a link to login (as soon as your account is activated.) The basic rules of dating sites apply: be honest is the most important one – no point saying you’re young and slim and in the USA if you’re not! Be safe too – arrange meetings in public places; only give out your phone number if you are sure of someone and so on. And, from here on in, it is up to you.

I can’t say how successful this site is compared to the many others that are out there but I can say that this is a very simple one to use, it looks good and you get good help and support if you have any problems using it. They take your searching and date finding seriously and you should too. If you want some casual sex then look around for Hook Up sites but if you really want to try a new way to find Mr Right, then MyPartner.com looks set to put you on the right road.

This relationship oriented site has also recently added Lesbian Matchmaking to its offerings.

Perez Hilton, Jamie King, and Simon Fuller the American Idol Creator are bringing you a new show called Boy Band Search (boybandsearch.com).
Jamie King, is THE MAN of this group and a someone any boy band would die to work with. King happens to be the director of Britney Spear’s 2009 Circus Tour, Madonna’s Sticky and Sweet world tour which was just named Top Tour for 2009 by Billboard Magazine. But get this Jamie King is also the director of Madonna’s record-breaking Confessions world tour – which in my opinion was the best concert of all time and has not YET been topped by anyone. Remember the concert where she came down from the cross?

If you are between the ages of 13 and 21 years old and think (we mean KNOW) you are an excellent singer or dancer then you better submit your video for this soon. Make sure you have a unique voice to be a teen boy band idol. Think N’SYNC, 98 Degrees, Backstreet Boys, and NKOTB (New Kids on the Block). I’d go back and take some notes from these groups before applying and make sure you offer something unique. See what each boy band such as Westlife offered or N’SYNC offered that Backstreet boys or NKOTB did not.

I emailed a few emails I had on hand for the staff over at Xy and had no reply. I assume either someone has purchased the site from the magazine’s owner or they can simply not afford hosting anymore. With the dismiss of many websites and news organizations in 2009, we are not sure what to expect.

Some of the traffic on Xy goes over to YGA Mag, which stands for the Young Gay America Magazine. This is a magazine that I have not seen printing that often and not getting the circulation that XY once had in bookstores across America. The neat thing about XY is that it was at the Barnes and Noble in Mid-America where that gay youth could find something to feel good about and give them hope. It was great to be able to find a treasure like XY at a local bookstore in nowhere, America.

2009 saw the passage of the Matthew Shepard Act on a federal level, creating an inclusive federal hate crime law. While we can’t particularly expect a lot of growth or change on the federal side of things, there is hope for the passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act or ENDA in 2010 according to Barney Frank (D-Mass). Opinions are mixed on the possibilities of a repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) in 2010.

The New Jersey Senate has defeated a gay marriage bill in that state, but supporters are already planning to head to the Supreme Court. New Jersey offers civil unions for gay couples; however, marriage remains out of reach.

Supporters of gay marriage in California may have another chance to be heard at the ballot box. Speculation suggests that the issue may see the ballot this November rather than in 2012. All three possible Democratic candidates for California’s gubernatorial race support full gay marriage rights, making 2010 seem the year to try and try again in California. Gay marriage may also be on the ballots in Colorado and Maine this year.

Internationally, news of anti-gay laws in Uganda have worried many in the gay community worldwide. These laws show the clear influence of fundamentalist Americans, of the type to support the “pray away the gay” theory. In their original form, Ugandan law would have put gays at risk of execution; however, as the law stands now, the penalty for homosexuality is life in prison. International pressure reduced the penalty, but this news provides a harsh glimpse of reality for many of us. Take the time to phone and write your senators and representatives to express the clear need for the US to condemn this and similar laws worldwide.

Social identifiers in the gay community are about both attitude and appearance. Some of these terms may be used in a derogatory context both in the gay community or outside of it, or may be claimed and embraced. Either way, knowing what these mean can help you navigate your local bar or local Craigslist ads at least on a surface level. Twinks are known for good clothes, perfect hair, and an impeccable tan. Stereotypically, they are young, thin, and pretty. Bears are their polar opposite, being older, hairier and bigger bodied. Within bear culture, you will find cubs, otters, and polar bears. These distinctions can refer to physical size, body hair and build. Many bears date within their own social group. Queens may simply have a bit of a diva attitude or may be active in the drag scene.

While some people may opt to claim the social identifiers discussed, you may find it even more helpful to understand sexual identifiers and labels. The words top, pitcher and power top all imply someone who is dominant in the bedroom, most often in relation to penetrative sex. A power top does not bottom, at all. Bottom, catcher, and power bottom refer to an individual who prefers to be penetrated during sex, and may also imply a more submissive role depending upon the context. Individuals who are more sexually flexible in terms of roles will often identify as versatile or a switch. Knowing where you fit on this continuum can help you avoid sexual incompatibility or embarrassing first date conversations.

Butch is a label claimed by those who wear masculine clothing and cultivate masculine behavior and personality traits. A soft butch typically favors androgynous clothing or masculine styles; however, may present in a somewhat more feminine manner. A stone butch may be sexually unavailable, preferring not to be touched. Many butch lesbians date much more feminine women by preference, although this certainly is not exclusively true. Some individuals who embrace the butch label may not be comfortable with female gender pronouns or gendered references.

Chapstick lesbians, tomboy femmes, and soft butches all fall within a somewhat androgynous gender presentation. Clothing choices are practical and comfortable, cosmetic use may be minimal, and activity is often more important than appearance. Skirts, dresses and high heels may be worn occasionally, but so can an old pair of men’s 501s and a fleece pullover. Lesbians and queer women rarely use these labels as social identifiers, but rather to simply qualify that they are neither butch nor femme.

You can find high heels, full make up and push-up bras in lesbian circles among femmes. A femme may identify as queer or lesbian, but she is consistently feminine. Femmes date butches, playing up the dichotomy between masculinity and femininity in their relationships. Femme is often very much an identity, incorporated into personality, sexuality and daily life. Social groups and websites exist to match up butches and femmes, as well as provide social get togethers within this subset of queer culture.

Lipstick lesbians may appear just as feminine as their femme counterparts; however, they don’t date butches. Lipstick lesbians typically date equally feminine women. The L-word is often cited as an example of lipstick lesbians. While butches and femmes are a distinct social subset, lipstick lesbians are less apt to integrate their sexuality into their personal identity.

For example: Grindr. Here you have a small GPS targeting device that keeps track of you wherever you are. Great for those mornings when you wake up in a stranger’s bed, in a strange town and you can’t remember how you got there. But it will also track other guys who are using the same application, so you can easily find guys who are cruising near you. So you basically have an application that lets you use your phone as a hook-up or matchmaker device, and it will only cost you $2.99 a month to add on.

If you don’t want to pay for your extras, how about GayCities? This is an application that will assist you when looking for gay bars, clubs, beaches and cafes and it comes with a mapping device installed too – so you can follow the routes to your own favourite kind of gay hangout. And it’s a free. The other option for this, that I could find listed, was MyGayGo, which is a similar, but it seems better, application but which costs you $2.99 a month, like Grindr does – but it gets better reviews and that’s probably because of the general rule: the more you pay the better you get.

I checked out a blog post from The Mobile App Company and found one that was about the ‘World’s first iPhone app for the gay community.’ Actually it was all rather vague, the post was made in February 2009, so is fairly out of date and all it told me was that there is an application available from their store and through the iTunes store. I did some further checking and found a little more information about this new app:

Brothersoft.com has the details – run a search for The Gay Community App 1.0.5. It seems that back in February the application was in beta testing and struggling a little, now though it’s available for download and there are specs: It’s Freeware, it’s for iPhones with OS 2.2.1 or higher, and it is there to help you connect with members of the GLBT community. How? Well, it looks like it basically does what the Grindr and MyGayGo applications do – list places, user GPS to find others with the same device etc. But it also contains a profile area where you can put information about yourself, you can add up to four pics there, you can say what/who you are looking for, you can connect with your Facebook and Twitter pages and keep a list of your buddies. And others with the same application can see this information too of course – so it does look like its going a bit further than the other applications mentioned above. And it’s free, don’t forget.

Not having an iPhone myself (shock horror) I have to admit to finding some of the information about these applications a bit bewildering. But that’s good, because most of what I read I understood, even though it didn’t relate to me. The point being that if you want to find good, gay applications for your own iPhone then you simply need to look up those that I’ve mentioned and you will (should) find easy to follow pages, easy to read instructions and clearly set out options for how to get them, and what to do once you have. I mean if I can understand it, will you will have no trouble.

Common labels within the transgender community include cross dresser, transsexual, transgendered, and gender queer. Transman and transwoman are also used within the transgender community as neutral, descriptive terms. Pre-op and post-op describe a state of medical transition, rather than personal identification. Gender queer, gender fuck, and androgynous may all be used by those who prefer to avoid identifying as male or female.

Cross dressers are men who enjoy dressing as women. They may find it emotionally or sexually satisfying. Cross dressers are content and comfortable being male and have no desire to live as women on a full time basis. Cross dressers typically identify as heterosexual males.

Transgender individuals can be born male or female, but identify as the opposite gender. Some people may opt to continue living as their birth gender, even if they are uncomfortable with it. Others transition and live as the gender with which they identify. Medical and surgical steps, including gender reassignment surgery, may be taken to make the body match the gender identification. Pre-op and post-op are terms used to identify the degree of physical alteration to the body. These labels and descriptions commonly apply to both transwomen and transmen.

More and more young people are identifying as gender queer. Other labels embraced by questioning or gender queer individuals include gender fuck, androgynous, and boi. Some gender queer people may feel comfortable with transgender support groups and may identify as transgender, while others simply prefer the umbrella term of queer. Avoid using gendered language if someone identifies outside the standard binary gender system. Some who identify as gender queer prefer alternative pronouns, including ze and hir.

Print media across the board, not just in the gay and lesbian community, is struggling in today’s economy. More and more people opt to get their news and community information online, rather than purchasing magazines and newspapers. Advertising revenues have dropped for both mainstream and queer publications. Even long standing and well known magazines like the Advocate are struggling, and many mainstream publications have gone under in this economy.

Several of the newspapers and magazines in question are expected to resurface under new names and ownership in the relatively near future. Mark’s List has expressed an interest in 411 Magazine and the South Florida Blade, with 411 Magazine set to publish as Mark’s List Magazine starting with the next issue. No significant changes to the magazine are expected. The Washington Blade will return as DC Agenda on December 4, 2009.

What is the impact of this on gay media? Given that several of the publications will be reborn from the ashes of the fall of Window Media, it does seem that leaner operations are likely. They will, however, be able to operate without corporate control, gaining more independence and a greater ability to serve their individual markets. While many of former Window Media websites are offline, as the publications themselves resume, expected web activity should as well.

This is just months after Planet Out’s stock went to nothing (at least I see none in my E*Trade account) and turned into Regent Media or Here! Media. I assume Logo will end up eating up all of that at some point because I see no changes so far. Mainstream media is buying up the badly managed gay media and bleaching it out pretty well.

With the end of Esquire magazine it was a sign of things to come. Employees seem to blame it on bad management not the bad economy. It could be a bit of both and the fact that sometimes companies have to merge to save on expenses and survive in trying times.

In other news today we noticed that Blu Media, Inc bought over Just Us Boys. Justusboys.com is a highly popular gay destination and community with over 1.5 million unique users per month and enjoys almost 1 million page views per day. It is not just big corporations and banks that are merging but the gay media is coming together and forming bigger alliances than ever.

Start your social networking experience at Olivia by making a profile. In today’s world, you’re surely familiar with this process. An Olivia.com profile is not particularly different than one on Facebook or MySpace; however, it does offer opportunities for openness you may not find on other social networking sites. Your Olivia profile includes photos, an “about me” section, and a chance for friends to leave testimonials. You can join groups, make friends, and manage your social life via Olivia.

Groups include those devoted to travel on Olivia cruises; however, you will also find groups for pet owners, families, singles, various interests, and regional areas. You may find the support you need in groups devoted to coming out, managing faith issues, or planning your wedding. You can even revisit favorite episodes of the L-Word with other fans. If you are planning to take an Olivia cruise, take the opportunity to make friends, find a travel companion or learn more about your cruise.

Olivia.com also offers a professional resource listing. Include your information to help potential customers or clients find you and use the resources to find lesbian professionals in your area. Even if you do not routinely use your profile, this feature can be accessed by any member on the site, active or not.

Your Olivia.com profile is publicly visible; however, it can only be seen by other Olivia.com members. If you use your Facebook account for your professional life, you might find an Olivia account the ideal social option for your personal life.

This year was the best year of the AMA Awards I have witnessed. We knew Lady Gaga would give us a hot Bad Romance, we knew that Whitney would make us all cry (although did not know that Reba would be there crying too), we knew that… No we did not know both J-Lo and Adam Lambert would fall on their butts. I felt bad for both of them when it came to that but they both are pros in that they came right back up. I would have laid there in pain from these harsh falls they had.

Adam Lambert made me excited again though. His performance shocked some but those are people that goto movies all the time and don’t get mad they see crazy violence but are so scared of a teasing crotch move or a kiss with two guys. Lord Forbid. This is basically late night TV around 8pm or so that this came on I mean it is not exactly 8am when cartoons are playing or interrupting someone’s blessed church service.

Thinking back to Madonna, she was banned from MTV with a big portfolio of her videos. It is crazy to think that you see so much booties shaking on there now but Madonna was banned. Really? Now we have Adam Lambert kissing another hot bandmember who happens to be straight and it’s like he masturbated live on stage or something. This just shows how much American TV discriminates and how backwards we still are when it comes to equal rights. I find it strange that some artists get away with it and some do not. Rihanna can sell explicit CD’s but Lady Gaga does not at Target or on Amazon.

I think two guys should be able to kiss especially when it comes to a song that has the lyrics such as Adam’s song. He is talking about bringing on the entertainment and hes not the sweet person he lead us on to be and we wanna see that dark side… bring it on. Show us what you got. Just quit falling when you do it.

I downloaded his new album off Amazon today along with Lady Gaga and Rihanna. It will be a race to see who wins on this Super Tuesday because they are all competing against Susan Boyle. It will be one of the biggest new music days of all time unless people are too poor to get out and buy them.

Adam will appear on Ellen for Friday’s show and was supposed to be on Jay Leno tonight. I am now a bigger fan than ever and glad to see that he stepped away from American Idol to get a little on the racy side of things. An award show should have the goody’s and the evils of us all. The Marilyn Mansons and the Taylor Swifts. I mean there is only so long we can sit here giving Taylor Swift awards until we are blue in the face.

Good Morning America may have canceled him but they sure used him before this for their ratings. This may be what a rock star needs to be canceled on these morning shows and be more mysterious and provocative. Is it me or does the hottie he is kissing in the pic look like a girl anyway? Such a hottie!

One of the best places to give in these hard times is your local food pantry. If you are able, make a cash donation. You can also consider using coupons and shopping sales to accumulate toiletries and other items at a very low cost. If you do give food, make smart choices. Shelf stable protein sources are an excellent choice, as are easily prepared dry goods. Choose foods that can be combined to make healthy meals without many additional ingredients. You may want to give some items that do not require cooking, as these foods can be used by those without access to cooking facilities. Even small donations can be a significant help to those in need.

Local children’s charities are also in need in this economy. Look for organizations that provide children with clothing, shoes and school supplies. These items are critically needed and families that could once get by without assistance may not be able to do so right now. Many schools do coat swaps and school supply drives on their own, making it convenient to give within your own neighborhood.

If you do not have the financial resources to give money to help others, consider what you can offer. Mow an elderly neighbor’s yard or offer to fix a car for a friend. See if volunteer groups in your community need help in hospitals, crisis nurseries or soup kitchens. Offer up your skills through your church or community center. If you want to help, but aren’t sure where to start, call a local food pantry or other organization and ask what you can do to help. Charities themselves can often use support services behind the scenes, ranging from a handyman to computer repair. Hard work, a caring ear or a helping hand can be just as appreciated as money in hard times.

Top 5 Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender charities include the following:
1. Human Rights Campaign, HRC.org – most popular and they do great work to ensure we have equal rights
2. Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center
3. SAGE, sageusa.org – advocacy for elders
4. Soulforce, soulforce.org, freedom for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people from religious and political oppression through the practice of relentless nonviolent resistance
5. GLSEN, glsen.org – ensuring safer schools for LGBT

I would also research the top HIV/AIDS related charities to make sure they are going to the proper places such as research and care instead of all marketing.

One charity that you should not donate to is the Salvation Army due to its intolerance of gays and lesbians.

The 2010 Lilith tour plans to partner with OurStage.com to help find local talent for the next best emerging female musicians across North America. We are excited to see the new version of the Lilith Fair come to our cities!

One of the highest grossing festivals in the world from 1997 through 1999 was the Lilith Fair. A celebration of women in music which featured performances from Jewel, Sheryl Crow, Sarah McLachlan, and Martina McBride. If you remember back when the song ‘Independence Day’ was big from Martina McBride. I had the chance to attend the festival at a ballpark in Oklahoma City and thought it was a great show. The festival similar to the True Colors tour raised money for charity including over $10 million for national and local charities. Pictured is from a backstage festival photo of Martina McBride in front of her Lilith Fair tour bus with a local radio station intern (taken by me).

This teen was dismembered by both his arms, legs, head, and torso. This is so heartbreaking. A hate crime so disgusting that it deserves major media attention. Hate like this needs to be stopped and we better damn sure pay attention to this.

The investigator needs to be punished by being forced to resign. The Superintendente’s name is Figueroa Sancha who seems to be biased and too prejudice to be investigating this hate crime. Please take action and send emails to Attorney General Holder asking him to have the FBI investigate this possible hate crime. The local police investigator, assigned to the crime, said because the kid was gay he should have expected this to happen.

Hate crimes seem to be up this last year in some cities in the US. A report released Friday from the California Attorney General’s office says more gay and Jewish people were victims of hate crimes last year. The incidents targeting gays and lesbians rose by 28 percent in 2008. A sharp increase to hate crimes to LGBT.

Read about bullying in schools and how to respond.

In lieu of yet another gift basket, consider making a donation in the recipient’s name to a local charity dealing with gay and lesbian issues. Most cities have a community resource center offering counseling, support groups, and youth services and these facilities are always in need of funds. You could also opt to make a donation to a larger national charity. A donation to the Human Rights Campaign at hrc.org is another good alternative.

Tech toys are one of the better gift options today, for nearly everyone. While your average gift budget won’t cover a new iPhone or netbook, some tech gifts are well within a reasonable gift exchange budget. Consider a cleverly concealed flash drive from Etsy.com, an iPod or cell phone cozy, or a sturdy and practical messenger bag sized to carry her laptop or netbook. More playful gifts might include USB powered gadgets and toys of all sorts from ThinkGeek.com.

While we all know that gift cards are a cliché at the holiday season, there’s a reason they’re popular. If you’re short on time, you can have an Amazon.com gift certificate on its way via email in only minutes. Gift cards to Itunes.com are another excellent option for nearly anyone. Local restaurants are nearly always a safe bet.

Of course, with any list of gift exchanges comes a list of things not to give. Avoid giving gendered gifts to a lesbian you know unless you are absolutely sure of her gender presentation and identity. Also, please do not give her any season of the L Word on DVD unless she requests it. She’s seen it, in all likelihood. If she loves it, she probably already owns it. If she finds Jenny unbelievably annoying, she doesn’t want to own it.

No major international AIDS conference has been held in the U.S. since 1993, because HIV-positive activists and researchers cannot enter the country.

The ignorance and fear about HIV led to ban of people from entering the US who was considered positive. This kept out students, tourists, refugees, and children who could have been adopted. HIV was the only medical condition explicitly listed under immigration law as grounds for not entering the US.

The turning around of this ignorance will help other countries and people realize HIV should not be quarantined or discriminated against. These are humans who have HIV/AIDS and we really need to stop the harsh discrimination.

Obama also signed a bill today to extend the Ryan White HIV/AIDS program which started in 1990. Ryan White was a 13 year old teenager who caught the virus from a blood transfusion who turned into an AIDS activist but died at the age of 18. The Ryan White HIV/AIDS program will help provide medical care, meds, as well as support to half a million people who normally would not be able to afford or survive without it.

These steps today mark major milestones along with the Hate Crimes bill he signed this week. We are finally moving along in a positive way after years of hate and discrimination and hope we continue down this path of success for our health and future.

While the glee club at McKinley high is a mishmash of minorities, one of the major characters on this show is a young man, Kurt Hummel played by 19 year old actor Chris Colfer. While, on the surface, Kurt is a stereotype in search of a day spa to recover from a face full of slushie and looking for knee length cardigans, he’s also won the football game for the school and stepped boldly out of the closet to his friends and single father. He’s bullied by the jocks, but willing to stand up for his friends. The episode all viewers will associate with Kurt boldly featured him singing Beyonce’s “Put a Ring on It,” complete with dance number as he won the big game for the football team. His father, dressed in flannel, cheers. His coming out is met with a quip about sensible pumps, a hug. Chris Colfer made us laugh and cry as Kurt triumphed for his school, bringing glory to all those who took too much crap in high school.

Critics have argued that Glee offers up discrimination. We see Kurt thrown into the dumpster, gay parents criticized for encouraging rebellion, and an expectation that an artistic father will produce a gay son. There’s no doubt at all that we see bullying, homophobia and discrimination in McKinley High. The jocks have to find themselves and learn that they were wrong as the gay kid brings the losing football team victory and they themselves sing and dance on the field to throw the other team off their game. Cheer coach Sue Sylvester is the clear villain of this show. Her comment about gay parents fits in with her suggestions that students be caned and her willing manipulation of students and staff.

High school wasn’t a picnic for most of us, gay or straight. It’s not for the kids in Glee either, as they deal with bullying, pregnancy, sexuality, friendship and competition.

Named as one of Entertainment Weekly’s 25 funniest people, Wanda Sykes has had a long career in films, television and stand-up comedy. The Wanda Sykes show will be her second weekly television appearance as she plays Barbara Baran (Barb) on the New Adventures of Old Christine on CBS. Other appearances include comedy specials on the Comedy Channel and HBO. Her second HBO stand up special premiers in October, 2009. Sykes spent five years working on the acclaimed Chris Rock show and has won Emmy awards for her work on the Chris Rock show and Inside the NFL.

While Wanda had been out privately for quite some time, she stepped out of the closet quite publicly at a Las Vegas Proposition 8 rally in November, 2008. Sykes and her partner were married in October of 2008 and welcomed twins in April of 2009. Even before she officially came out, Sykes included discussions of gay and lesbian issues, including gay marriage, in her stand up comedy routines. It seems likely that her new show will cover, among its topical issues, many of those relevant to the gay community as a whole.

Tune into the Wanda Sykes Show on Saturdays on Fox, starting November 7, 2009 at 11 PM Eastern. Find the current promos for the show at tvbythenumbers.com.

A young man in Tulsa, Brandon Patrick, suffered a vicious assault on the evening of October 18th as he walked from his home to visit a nearby friend. Three people, a woman in her 40s and a younger man and woman in their late teens or early twenties approached him, shouting homophobic insults. The verbal assault escalated into a beating after the individuals got into a maroon Ford Mustang and followed the victim. Physical injuries sustained in the attack included bruises, knife wounds and bite wounds. Three staples were required to close the wound on Mr. Patrick’s scalp and three stitches were needed for a stab wound on his knee.

Brandon Patrick fought back, defending himself against the assault once the man began punching him in the head. He continued to fight back and the three returned to their vehicle and fled. The three assailants are still at large; however, due to Oklahoma’s weak hate crime legislation, they will only be charged with felony assault.

News stories like this worry all of us, reminding us that caution, self defense and activism are all necessary. Know your surroundings, keep your cell phone close at hand, and watch out for yourself and your friends. You can find information on activism in Oklahoma, including information on hate crimes in Oklahoma at from Oklahomans for Equality at http://www.okeq.org/. Federal hate crime legislation, the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act has passed the House of Representatives. Call your senator and encourage their support of this important piece of legislation.

What is really disturbing about this is that hate crimes for sexual orientation is not covered in Oklahoma’s hate crime law but that may soon change on the Federal level. Let’s hope these attackers get caught and justice is served.

Find more on this story at http://www.ktul.com/news/stories/1009/670120.html and http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=298&articleid=20091019_298_0_Whatsh4950&allcom=1.

Ian Baynham, is an example of one horrific attack in Trafalgar Square who died just two weeks after the fatal homophobic act. This has thrust homophobic crimes into the public eye in London and hopefully will bring attention to more laws being passed to prevent more deaths.

This rise could be a positive sign according to the Metropolitan (MET) police in London because it means that more homophobic acts are being reported than before. Authorities claim that people were scared to report these attacks before and now they make sure its reported. That they have been way underreported over the years. This holds true everywhere though we need to report something even if we just happen to see an attack. The police should be notified and help put an end to the violence.

A study by Stonewall, conducted last year, showed one in five lesbians and gay men surveyed in London had experienced a homophobic hate incident in the previous three years.
It also found that three quarters of those experiencing such an incident did not report it to the police. In fact, seven in 10 people did not tell anyone else about it. This is disturbing.

President Obama has the Matthew Shepard hate crimes bill on his desk here in the U.S. Let’s hope this act flows over to the U.K. and they see the trend go backwards and let’s hope we do too. I have noticed more hate crimes here in the states lately.

RELATED:  This hate crime in Tulsa, OK earlier this month has still not received the media attention it deserves and the attackers have still not been caught.

Several children have committed suicide due to bullying of this sort and almost 25% of students who have been taunted, teased or bullied because of being perceived as gay or lesbian have attempted suicide. Even more disturbingly, this type of bullying is most severe during the later elementary and middle school years. While the schools must address these issues and are working diligently to do so, the gay, lesbian and transgender community should do so as well. What can we do to help these kids and improve acceptance in the schools?

The gay community can assist with this critical issue in several ways. First, gay and lesbian centers across the country should be actively providing support to gay youth. Offer youth groups and make sure they are as accessible as possible to young people. Work with school Gay-Straight Alliance groups whenever possible to share knowledge and resources. A good social support system can reduce the risk of suicide among GLBTQ teens and reduce the impact of bullying.

Consider offering your support services to local school boards to share information about the struggles and challenges of gay and lesbian youth. You may even want to consider visiting the schools and providing information via an assembly or classroom presentations. Gay, lesbian and transgender youth are not the only ones victimized by this sort of daily torment. In fact, four heterosexual students report name calling and accusations of a sexual nature for every gay or lesbian student. Contact your school boards and legislators about the importance of anti bullying legislation that specifies sexual and gender identity protection.

Responding to harassment in the schools is more challenging if you are the one being bullied. Ignoring the bully, surrounding yourself with supportive friends and responding with humor can all be helpful strategies if you don’t feel like you are at physical or emotional risk. Know your school’s discipline policies and work within those policies and with the assistance of your parents, teachers and administrators to stop the bullying.

The latest gay bullying comes from Queens, New York where Jack Price, 49, had left a deli after buying cigarettes in College Point, when he received a number of antigay comments and was attacked. No matter whether you are young or old you have to be on the lookout for anti-gay remarks and slurs and be able to get away from attackers. We can only hope that Obama will keep his words spoken at the HRC Equality Dinner and sign into the Matthew Shepard hate crimes bill that will be on his desk soon. See safeschoolscoalition.org for more information on anti-gay bullying.

To Barney Frank – we are putting more than pressure on this grass and this grass is ours. We will come away today and continue this war in our backyards to our local politicians said Gaga. Barney Frank basically said we were wasting our time marching in Washington and not putting more time into going directly to the politicians involved but I think he was wrong this time. Barney Frank was seen in the Castro district in San Francisco over the weekend and I am sure he will change his tune once he knew all that went down in D.C. this weekend.

Lady Gaga also called her gays beautiful fans and refused to accept any homophobe lyrics and actions in the music industry that has become filled up with hate over the years. She then ended the speech to bless God and to bless the Gays. Amazing speech from Lady gaga.

This of course is after her brilliant piano performance with the John Lennon song “Imagine” where President Barrack Obama “Opened up for Lady Gaga”, at least he said that in his speech. Lady Gaga came on stage and performed a newly written version of the song she made for the HRC Dinner and it made references to equality and even to Matthew Shepard who was murdered from a hate crime while his mother Judy Shepard was there in the audience.

2009 marked one of the best years I have ever seen for gay rights following President Obama’s speech saying he would sign the hate crime into law and saying he would soon get rid of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DOMA). Obama’s speech also made references to Matthew Shepard and told a great story about 60 years ago with the beginning of Pflag and the story behind it. It was a speech that I could watch a million times. He also promised to get the HIV/AIDS infected people visiting this country the approval to come inside and visit friends and relatives or for even business reasons in which they cannot get in our country now.

This is a great time to be a true American and love and embrace each other more than before and fight for our equality because it will come and come within the next few years.

Recently the 19 year old was seen on the red carpet with Kathy Griffin during the Teen Choice Awards and Kathy made some jokes a few weeks later on Bill Maher saying she felt some kicking in her stomach.  Levi Johnston is also featured in some nut commercials where they say he is now using “protection” wearing an Alaska shirt.  But seeing him in the bare may be something we did not expect from him.  You know this will be one hot selling playgirl magazine because we love seeing ex or current hockey players or any type of college-aged boys in the buff and spread wide.

Kathy must have had a good influence on the still teenager.  A “Good” influence.  As for Sarah Palin it probably just adds more publicity for her upcoming book “Going Rogue” which comes out in a few weeks and is topping Amazon’s Best seller list for pre-orders.  I bet it helps Kathy’s book sales out as well.

Wasn’t it Marky Mark that posed for Playgirl years ago.  I sure wanted a copy of that!  I thought Levi Johnston was hot the first time I saw him at the RNC but now he has sort of lost some of that.  Maybe after he cleans up some from working out and tones it up he will be ready for the big time and hopefully he does not disappoint us with something small!

This shocked the music industry today because they expected Mariah Carey “Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel” or Paramore “Brand New Eyes” to hit #1 for next weeks edition but instead Babs took the spot.  How did this happen?  Could it be all the mean comments coming from Bill O’Reilly to her on his Pin Head game he plays nightly or could it be that we are turning back to real talent instead of just artists promoting themselves on talk shows.  Although she did just promote her album to a tiny NYC Jazz club she played at in the 60’s in front of President Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hilary Clinton (not a bad way to get your album off to a big start).

The strong sales came from non-traditional outlets such as Starbucks and QVC’s home shopping network for Streisand.  She now extends her lead as the female act with the most number one releases on the Billboard 200 charts.  At age 67, she is also the first artist to top the chart in 5 consecutive decades.  She has not topped the chard since 1997 with “Higher Ground” and that sold more copies at 207,000.

Mariah Carey has a great new CD with an amazing remake and the Obsessed song we love so much.  I am even shocked she did not hit the #2 spot and get more sales than Paramore.  Judging from sales in the UK it was Madonna who won the battle beating out Paramore to the #1 spot the first week.  Mariah has been all over the Today show and other shows promoting her album and only sold 52,000 more copies than her 2001 “Glitter” flop.

When you look at the numbers Streisand only sold 180,000 copies compared to 168,000 from Mariah Carey and 175,000 from Paramore.  So they were definitely close and it was not a knock down drag out and considering record sales were down from 2008 this time last year you can tell money is tight from the recession.  I wonder how many pirated copies are downloaded for free of each artist.

Madonna did not underperform because her album is a two-set cd which is more expensive than any of the above.  Celebration came on at number 7 with little promotion but maybe it will get more sales now that she appeared on Saturday Night Live.  I did not see Madonna mention her new album.  She appeared on the MTV VMA’s but did not perform instead she did the very unselfish tribute to Michael Jackson.  I just think many could not afford the two-cd set from Celebration and opted for the cheaper albums on sale this week.  I will be enjoying the DVD of all of her videos over the years she also put out and her new Celebration CD – especially the Lil’ Wayne revolver song ‘Revolver’.  This is Madonna’s final record with Warner Music Group and she will launch a new re-invention with Live Nation in the coming years.

Babs we are happy for you!  It looks like the Liberals won for sure on this one.

Brittany Novotny is a Democrat and hopes to win the race by not focusing on her being transgendered but her being a better politician for the people of Oklahoma.  This is quite ironic for the Kerns campaign as she has spelled out her dislike (more on the hate side) for homosexuals in the past comparing us to terrorists and such.

This could backfire for Kerns or it could backfire for Novotny. While I think it is a great thing for someone to run against Kerns in this election we better make sure Novotny is well-funded and has her name out there.  No one has been able to beat Kerns yet and Novotny better think of a strategy to beat witch Kerns out.  Kerns is nothing but a talking big mouth wishing for a future with Fox News or some crazy outfit as a commenter but she really has no future.   She has Sarah Palins that have taken her big mouth job on the road.  Kerns holds her state rep. position and there is no visible end in that future unless the GLBT can really stand together and get her out of office.  Then we will be done with this lady.  She can go sit in her husbands Baptist church or help out with some community service if she gets outed but there is a mere chance that will happen unless we build momentum NOW.

The two most critical campaign promises to the gay and lesbian community were the big issues, the Defense of Marriage Act and Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The current Defense of Marriage Act prevents the recognition of same-sex marriages across state lines and on a federal basis. This poses questions of states’ rights as well as individual rights. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has led to the expulsion of many qualified military personnel, a practice which still continues.

Unfortunately, the only action on the Defense of Marriage Act has not been positive. On June 12, 2009 the Justice Department filed papers defending DOMA. The official administration statement is that President Obama supports a legislative repeal of the act, but until that time the Justice Department will continue to defend DOMA. Critics contend that the Justice Department brief was especially problematic as the cases quoted backing their argument included a state not recognizing an incestuous marriage and states not being required to recognize underage marriages.

While the Defense of Marriage Act requires legislative repeal, some political experts believe the enforcement of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell could stop immediately with an executive order. This might cause some amount of political fallout; however, pressure from the Obama administration could likely eliminate this piece of legislation altogether. Moreover, public polls support the open service of gays and lesbians in the military, making a repeal likely to pass the House and Senate with ease. Why then, are officers and enlisted service people who have worked hard to serve, served faithfully and given of themselves being given dishonorable discharges?

Gay and lesbian federal employees have seen a positive change. At last, federal employee benefits extend to the partners of gay and lesbian employees. Unfortunately, this change seems a paltry offering to a community that fought for change.

The GLBTQ community has been patient. We have been supportive. For many of us, our patience is beginning to wear thin. It is time for the current administration to make good on their promises and to see change. States are making positive changes and it is time for the federal government to follow.

Madonna could just be introducing Janet Jackson for the Video Music Awards at Radio City Music Hall in NYC but then again she could be performing.  The rumors are flying and even Perez Hilton is commenting on the matter.  I think Madonna is in NYC because she just bought a large townhouse in the area.  She also just finished her two year Sticky and Sweet tour and is promoting her new Celebration album.

Madonna is also making news today because her Celebration dance track just broke another record by making it the 40th number one hit for her on the dance play charts on Billboard.  I “have a feeling” that the entire album will score a #1 when it hits stores at the end of September because it includes so many great old school songs and a new collaboration with Lil Wayne.

The MTV VMA Awards will be broadcast live Sunday night from NYC and will feature Pink, Green Day, Muse, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Eminem, Taylor Swift, and that funny Brand guy with the English accent we love so much.  It will be a jam packed show with the most awards up for grabs for Lady Gaga and Beyonce.  My prediction is that we may even see a squeezed in performance from Mariah Carey while she is doing her Las Vegas show and see something spectacular from Lady Gaga.  Janet Jackson will be on stage with choreographers performing some hits of Michael Jackson during a all-star tribute and we will be living like it is 1990 again Gaga style.

Fashion week is also going on here in NYC and we have seen Justin Timberlake, Rhianna, and many other celebs at Saks and Macy’s events wearing some hot hot outfits.  I cannot wait to see what everyone is wearing on the red carpet.  I have no clue to what I will be wearing on the red carpet but if you log on to MTV.com they actually a live feed video unedited of people walking past setting up the stage and will be showing the celebs once it is all built.

Set your TIVO’s or DVR’s and make sure you see HIStory being made at the 2009 VMA Awards.

While there are GLBTQ individuals in many mainstream sports, one of the biggest events for a gay athlete is the Gay Games. The Federation of Gay Games runs this event every four years and gay athletes of all ages, skill levels and physical challenges may compete in the Games. Winning is defined as achieving your personal best, regardless of age, health or HIV status. Find more information about the Federation and the Games at gaygames.org. The next event is scheduled to occur in 2010.

You can also find gay sporting leagues in many major cities to ensure that your team is a happy and welcoming environment. You might check local resource centers or a simple search engine search to find a team in your area. You might also check listings and information at gay.com/fitness/sports. If you are looking for a team that is inclusive, but not specifically seeking out homosexual members, it can be more challenging. You might find it helpful to simply call or email and ask the coach or team representative. You are, after all, playing for fun and it will not be fun if your sexual orientation is an issue.

While there are gay professional athletes in every sport, including male dominated team sports, not surprisingly many choose to remain in the closet at least until their careers are over. Unfortunately, the culture of games like basketball, baseball and football remains unfriendly to gay team members. Some activities are an exception to this and are, on the whole, welcoming of GLBTQ individuals. The WNBA, women’s golf and tennis are among these. Some of the best known gay athletes in the world today include skater Rudy Galindo, tennis player Billie Jean King, Olympic diver Greg Louganis, tennis player Martina Navratilova, and NBA player John Amaechi.

Young queer athletes should know that while being active in their sport, depending on the sport, can pose some challenges, the sports world is becoming more accepting. More and more gay and lesbian athletes are choosing to be public about their sexuality, encouraging their teams, sports and the public as a whole to accept that gay and lesbian people can be great athletes and bring a lot to their sports.

One blog and Youtube video reported that she has some type of drag suit that fits her body to make her more womanly.  How does this guy know.  He says he is from San Francisco where there are lots of drag queens.  Well he is a pinhead because there are drag queens in every city not just in San Fran.  Just because they have a weekly Tranny Shack is not proof he is some expert on drag.

I am so sick of these experts claiming to know so much especially the gossip reporting on this story.  It is insane that these blogs reporting something that Lady Gaga said could not confirm the quote.

A video has emerged where there may or may not be a bulge in her underwear and this has people talking.  They claim it is male genitalia even though it could just be a wad in her panties.  Are people just that scared she is a man.  She could be a man but we know she is bi so it sounds like she likes it all.  Maybe she wants all the body parts.  She can have what she damn well wants she is Lady Gaga!  I will say I saw her butt in person and it does look like a guys rear or that of a hot lesbians.  Either way we love us some Gaga!

Back in May Lady Gaga told Rolling Stone magazine that she was bi-sexual and that “I think I’m changing what people think is sexy.”  Yes, indeed she is.

Lady Gaga’s manager says the claims are “Ridiculous.”

And what is a hermaphrodite anyway?  It is a person that has both male and female reproductive organs.  Is the pop singer a man or women.  Who cares.  Let’s enjoy the music and her amazing looks.

First, you will need a durable power of attorney. This form allows your significant other to pay bills, deposit checks, conduct banking, pay taxes, sell stocks and handle other financial matters as needed. A durable power of attorney is relevant and legally binding even if you are no longer competent to handle your own affairs. The basic form may be downloaded online and notarized, prepared by an attorney, or found in the forms available in most legal software programs.

Next, you should set up a health care proxy. A health care proxy will allow your partner to make health care decisions on your behalf if you are unable to do so. Again, this form may be downloaded and notarized, prepared by an attorney or handled via simple easy to use software. You can also include special instructions, such as those that would typically be included in a living will, in the health care proxy form. Ehow offers instructions for drafting a health care proxy. A separate living will may also be a good idea, particularly if you have strong feelings about end of life care.

Finally, you need to be certain that your will is in order to provide your significant other with rights to a shared home, your financial assets and provide for guardianship of children if need be. Avoid leaving these decisions to the courts.

You might also consider a product designed for cohabiting couples, like Nolo’s legal guide to living together.  Rainbowpridelegal.com offers a legal paperwork package specifically designed for LGBTQ couples.

If you are single, you may want to consider who will provide for your affairs if you are unable to and make choices appropriate to your life. A good friend, a parent, or a sibling might all be appropriate in terms of choosing a health care proxy and power of attorney.

This is an attack on a gay group in Tel Aviv and it really sets gay rights in Israel back in time as the world is becoming more gay accepting. Tel Aviv is ranked highly on the scale of the gay holiday or vacation destinations and could lose a great deal of tourism from this tragedy.

Offer Nissam, a world-wide known DJ with a huge gay following is based out of Tel Aviv but there is no word on his myspace blog or anywhere about this. Madonna also plans a concert to end her Sticky and Sweet tour in Tel Aviv on September 2nd in Tel Aviv, Israel at the Yehoshua Gardens.

Hundreds of Israelis on Sunday staged a protest at the Tel Aviv Gay and Lesbian Association, where on Saturday two people were killed and 11 injured in a shooting described by some officials as a hate crime. “What happened last night takes us back years in the fears of parents and families. But we cannot let anyone or anything take us back into the closet,” said Tel Aviv resident Joseph Berg.

Financing college is a challenge for most students. LGBTQ students may have special financing needs, particularly if coming out has caused a break with family. All college students should start their financial aid application process with the Federal Application for Student Aid or FAFSA. This application determines your eligibility for federal loans, grants and other aid. Lesbian and gay students are eligible for some specific scholarships. If your college or university has a gay and lesbian student center, they may be aware of other local scholarships appropriate for gay students. These organizations and your school’s financial aid office may also be able to help you advocate if parents are not cooperating with FAFSA applications or other issues.

The Point Foundation is one excellent possibility for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students. The Point Foundation is the National LGBT Scholarship Fund and manages a number of different scholarships. Options are available for both graduate and undergraduate students and application details may be found at http://www.pointfoundation.org/index.html. Preference is granted to students without family support due to their sexuality or gender. The League Foundation at AT&T offers several $1500 and $2500 scholarships to LGBT high school seniors who have excelled academically. College acceptance is required, as is community service in order to qualify for these scholarship options. Specialty scholarships for specific majors and fields are also available from some organizations. Some colleges, universities and graduate programs offer their own scholarships directed at gay, lesbian and transgender students. With a lower overall pool of applicants, you may find that these are quite accessible.

If you expect to be applying for scholarships, you should make sure that you have completed the basic requirements of many programs. Scholarships for gay and lesbian students do expect that you will be open about your sexuality, having come out to family and friends. The majority of scholarships expect good grades and a good community service background, whether in your school or your community. Scholarships specifically intended for gay students may expect that service to have been done within the LGBT community, like the Live Out Loud program. Do keep in mind that there are many scholarship options that have nothing at all to do with your sexuality and gender, and look for these at your university, local area and online.


For a thorough listing of possible scholarships, see http://www.washburn.edu/sobu/broach/glbt-scholar.html. This listing includes both scholarships for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students, as well as scholarships for those studying issues relevant to the gay community. Some scholarships may also be open to gay and lesbian allies who have done valuable and relevant community service.

As of this writing, six states in the United States have legalized gay marriage via legislative or judicial actions. Same sex couples can currently marry in Iowa, Massachusetts and Connecticut. Vermont and Maine will allow gay and lesbian couples to marry as of September, 2009. Gay marriages will be performed after January 1, 2010 in New Hampshire. While New York and the District of Columbia will not allow gay couples to marry, they will recognize marriages from other states. Current legislation is pending in New York to allow same sex marriage.

New Jersey offers civil unions that include all state rights given to heterosexual married couples. A number of states, including Colorado, Hawaii, Maryland, Nevada, Oregon, Wisconsin, Washington and the District of Columbia offer civil unions or domestic partnerships that include some degree of rights and responsibilities.  These range from minimally guaranteeing hospital visitation privileges and some inheritance rights to more comprehensive unions requiring insurance protections, impacting tax laws and more.

Some forty states restrict marriage to a man and a woman. Some of these states do offer domestic partnerships or civil unions. Nineteen states ban any recognition of civil unions, partnerships or gay marriage. Federal law, under the Defense of Marriage Act, does not recognize gay marriages or civil unions; however, some federal employee benefits have been extended to gay partners.

What can we expect to change across the United States? While Obama promised an overturn of the Defense of Marriage Act, this is still to come. Massachusetts has challenged this law on the basis that it is discriminatory, relying on the defense that family law is typically a state matter. Other suits are being brought against the Defense of Marriage Act by private parties. It is expected that other states with legal gay marriage will join in the fight against DOMA.

See http://www.npr.org/news/specials/gaymarriage/map/ for an easy state by state breakdown of gay marriage laws.

Madonna is currently on tour performing her Sticky and Sweet Europeon leg in Italy and was not in Marseilles France when this happened.  Putting together stages can be a difficult task and something that happens in a very timely manner which can lead to lots of accidents.  This sort of reminds me of the Cowboys stadium in Dallas where players were injured from a collapsing roof.  Very sad situation.

The Sticky and Sweet tour is expected to go through Spain, Czech Republic’s Prague, and end in Israel.  I am hoping to attend the Czech Republic show in Prague and hope to see the Sex museum there and other historic sites.

Madonna may also take part in the 2009 MTV VMA Awards from NYC for a huge Michael Jackson Tribute with many other celebrities.  She has already done one great tribute on her July 4th show in London at the same  02 Arena where Jackson was supposed to perform this month.

It turns out that Rockstar Energy Drink CEO Russell Weiner announced that the beverage company will expand its LGBTsupport but it seems to have all happened after this.  It took blogs calling him out that his dad was Michael Savage.  I guess he changed his name to distance himself from his dads far right-wing nut job views? Who knows but we do know that “the Weiner” did donate to Gavin Newsoms campaign in San Francisco so hey thats a good thing.  But anything remotely connected to Michael Savage scares the tards out of me.  It all comes down to the fact they are both running a business and have to do what they can to keep the business running but Michael Savage could do some good in the world and spread love instead of hate.

The problem is that the CFO of Rockstar is Michael Savage who preaches hate on his radio shows against almost anyone that is not him.  Will the sale of a Rockstar benefit his pocket book and keep his mouth open or can we shut it by stuffing more money down his throat.  It would be like buying eggs and finding out that Sally Kerns is benefiting somehow from it.  I would immediately quit buying eggs or even looking at them thinking I might catch her right wing nut job disease.

More and more gays and lesbians are falling addicted to the Rockstar energy drink just as we did with Redbull and others since the first energy drink Jolt Cola was introduced.  While these drinks are not exactly healty or the best things to mix with alcohol the gay community has been one of the biggest customers.  Energy drinks the hottest seller inside nightclubs taking over sales of water in some cases.  They are the drug we need to dance and stay alert when driving back home but most of all these drinks are the drug to keep us focused during the day that has replaced coffee and tea in some cases.  Of course, coffee and tea are much healthier.

Some alternatives to Rockstar are Redbull and other energy drinks that are displayed at gay pride parades.  It is always best to buy the drink you think is the healthiest first of all with less sugar and cancer causing ingredients.  Be careful because the sugar free drinks they claim normally contain a sugar that is not really sugar-free but a replacement such as Splenda or aspartame.  The aspartame is found in sugar-free redbull.  Why on earth they have to sweeten everything is beyond me.. or at least make it Agave nectar which is better for our health.

If you insist on consuming energy drinks, there are options. Coca-Cola (who repeatedly scores 100% on HRC’s Corporate Equality Index), for instance, makes Full Throttle and Tab Energy. But check the ingredients!

Bottom line is to buy a drink that is healthy or support a drink that sponsors our events.  Red bull at least sponsors events and circuit parties across the nation.  If a drink does not have health benefits or support GLBT causes in any way then run from it.

First, decide where you want to go. You can find cruises to Alaska, Europe, Mexico and the Caribbean. You should also consider how much of a priority a gay cruise is. Would you be just as happy with any cruise? If so, better deals can be had from the standard cruise lines. Why do so many gays and lesbians opt for specialty cruises? Gay and lesbian cruises offer entertainment you won’t find elsewhere, a relaxed and uninhibited atmosphere and great camaraderie. If you are traveling alone, you’re sure to make friends quickly and have a fun and carefree holiday.

Atlantis Events is one of the primary gay and lesbian cruise choices on the market today. Working with cruise lines like Celebrity and Holland America, you can find cruises to popular destinations around the world on beautiful and luxurious cruise liners. RSVP Vacations is another option in the gay cruise industry offering luxurious and fun cruises well suited to both singles and couples. While women are welcome on both Atlantis and RSVP cruises, they typically make up only 10% of the customer base for these companies.

Lesbians looking for warmth, camaraderie, and a great cruise may want to consider an Olivia Cruise. With entertainment, singles activities and speakers geared to the lesbian community, an Olivia Cruise is guaranteed to be fun. Olivia Cruises charter high quality cruise liners from Holland America for all of their lesbian cruises. Olivia offers Caribbean and Alaska cruises.

If you have children or you and your partner are looking for a quieter and less party oriented gay cruise, R Families cruises may be well suited to your needs. Gay and lesbian families will find friendship on an R Families cruise as they share the experience of building and enjoying their families. Plan ahead if you want to attend one of these cruises as they happen infrequently. Children’s activities are available for kids from 2-17 and much of the evening entertainment is appropriate for the whole family.

From San Francisco to Oklahoma City to New York City to Houston we celebrate pride 2009.  Everyone have a safe weekend and make sure you drink the liquors that advertise in our parades and support our community whether it be a beer or a vodka.  Remember the banks and other organizations and busineses that take part in the gay pride festivals and parades and support them!!  Support your drag queens and bartenders too haha!

Steve Ruda told the newspaper Thursday that Jackson was not breathing when Los Angeles Fire Department paramedics responded to a call at his Los Angeles home about 12:30 p.m.

The paramedics performed CPR and took him to UCLA Medical Center, told the paper.

Sordid Lives the TV show had the hottest of guys being Jason and his singing men chorus auditions when it broke to the Hollywood scene he was engaged in but then went back to Texas life to show his family and friends there.  Oh, and there is Leslie Jordon who plays Loretta Lynn or Brother Boy as they called him… the guy from Will and Grace.

The other great characters were Noleta Nethercott, Peggy Ingram (Rue McClanahan, Golden Girls), and I think my favorite was Beth Grant or Sissy Hickey.  I just loved Sissy’s bee-hive-ish hair.  But there was also the singing delight Bitsy Mae who we all know as Olivia Newton-John.  And we cannot forgot LaVonda and then there is Dr. Eve the doc trying to change the Sexual Preferences of Brother Boy.

So this about shows you a sum of some of the big name stars in this show not including the terriffic Del Shores who put all of this together.  But what is the catch? LOGO is claiming they will not bring back the show because of its costs blamed on the bad economy.  It may be too late to save the show from LOGO  carrying it but we could try.  There is currently a petition going on over at the petition site and a facebook page setup to save the show.

Here are some other options:
Email LOGO directly at- www.logoonline.com/about/contact.jhtml

Oh and while you are at it let’s make a petition for someone to bring back Queer As Folk.  That is my all time favorite show and I think its high time to have a revamped QAF every sunday night.  Both shows need to come back but Sordid Lives can be easier to bring back since its on a roll right now as a popular show and just need some action from us all.

Del Shores the writer of Sordid Lives wrote on his facebook demanding that GLAAD take action and they finally did.  It is a sad situation when the gay community has to face off against each other because we are supposed to be a fabulous loving family.  Perez Hilton should apoligize to the entire gay community for his actions even though he was assulted.  The assult and violence brought on from Will.I.Am and Fergie’s band manager should be punished as well.  Violence is never the answer but words such as F-words should not be used either.

The TMZ video of this made my stomach hurt and I was shaking in disapointment that someone in our community would embarass us like this.  It is hard to stand by him but I think he will in time apoligize and clean things up… we should give him a chance to do better and all quit hating each other.  Hate and violence are what the religoius extremists do to each other and we certainly do not want to be one of those losers.

Del Shores (whom is also married to actor Jason Dottley) has also been commenting about the Dustin Lance Black pictures that were posted on Perez Hilton’s site and how that hurt the gay community.  Keep in mind this was only a week or so ago so there is even more bitterness towards Perez.  Although I will have to give Hilton credit that he took down the nude pics of Dustin Lance Black of Milk.

On a better note, Lady Gaga was amazing and sexy as can be gyrating like a hot stripper at the Much Music Awards.  Whether she is a man or a woman she is the hottest thing on the planet.  Her flaming boobs made Britney and the MTV Awards look like a Disney reject movie.  We love you Gaga and can’t wait to see what you do next.

I see if this “explodes” into something big it will be because people are jealous that the Oscar winning Milk writer is so hot in this video.  Hotter than most of the stars that are really supposed to be doing these types of videos.  I admit i will be the first to buy this video!

Of course we all know Dustin lance is gay but did we know he had sex too?  OMG really? haha.  People goto the bathroom as well.  This whole thing could end up being as silly as Adam Lambert coming out as Gay.   I just wonder how these things get “leaked” out or does Dustin Lance want us to know how big his pee pee is… Photo courtesy of Perez Hilton.com.

We are refusing to post any images or videos that were seen on the Perez Hilton site but it was hot to see.  We are a big fan of Dustin Lance Black and hope he continues to do well in his career.

Dinah Shore Week in Palm Springs, California is the largest lesbian event in the country. Held in the spring (the 2010 dates are March 31 to April 4), Dinah Shore Week includes entertainment planned and organized by the well known L.A based GirlBar, pool parties, and plenty of time to socialize. Dinah Shore Week 2009 boasted an impressive line up of performers, including Macy Gray, Kat Deluna, Julie Goldman, and the Cliks. Reservations fill up quickly, so book by December if you want to stay in the Wyndham Hotel or Hotel Zoso.

Another major lesbian event each year is the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. While controversy has surrounded the festival, it remains a popular destination for any woman looking to share and experience  a space designed just for her. The festival features intensive workshops of all sorts, performances, and a time to share in a unique space and experience. Moms should note that families with male children 5 and over will need to camp in Brother Sun and use the childcare available there as boys over 4 are not welcome on the festival grounds. This year’s Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival will take place from August 4th to 9th. Visit michfest.com for more information.

Gay Days Orlando has become a popular destination for both single and partnered members of the LGBTQ community. During this week, a number of events designated for Girls at Gay Days occur as well, making it a popular lesbian event destination. You can also take advantage of Gay Day Disney during this event. Comedians, concerts and plenty of dancing await lesbians of all ages at Girls at Gay Days. See girlsatgaydays.com for schedules for this year’s June party.

While not specifically a lesbian oriented event, if you are more concerned with the arts than with a party, consider making Homo A Go Go your event destination. This gay and lesbian oriented arts festival includes music, art, film, performance art and activism from August 13 to August 16, 2009 in San Francisco, California.

Top 5 Lesbian Clubs in the U.S.

There are two specific types of life insurance. The first is universal life. This combines both a death benefit and a savings and investment account. The cash value may be withdrawn if desired. Monthly premiums will be the same throughout life; however, a higher percentage of the premium will go into savings while young than when older.  Term life is more common today, and is what we typically refer to when we talk about life insurance.  Premiums are lower when young and higher as age and risk of death increases. Cash value plans do offer some tax advantages over term life; but term life plans are ideal for most people.

I’m not a big Amerian Idol fan.  I only watched this season for Kris Allen and Adam Lambert and I liked the chick with the tattoos and Matt Giraud.  This season was by far the best season ever of Idol.  But it really was Adam Lambert who made American Idol exciting this year it would have been a boring show without him.  Danny Pokey Gokey was nothing more than a Karoke cruise ship singer who seemed like a nice guy but him and some of the others really had no business being in the top 10.

America eagerly awaited for Adam Lambert’s next creative showing each week which normally outdid the others and outdid himself.  It was the growing talent he had which we all desire on one of these reality shows and we all knew in our hearts he should have won but had that dark feeling that he probably will not win because most of America is still too set in their ways.  It came down to what Suze Orman predicted on twitter:  Suze Orman tweeted that Kris Allen would get Danny Gokeys votes and Adam will lose.  She was right.  Although what is a finance lady doing talking about American Idol– haha no wonder were in a recession lol.  OK, love you Suze.  And by the way Suze was for Adam.

Not only was the gay communities biggest hero Suze Orman for Adam but Katy Perry went out of her way to show her support.  Katy Perry came on Idol and flashed an Elvis outfit with Adam Lambert embrodered on the back.   Katy was performing her new Vegas song which will be a big hit in gay clubs this Summer I can assure you that!  Such good timing since Vegas pride is going on while she rolls out her Vegas song!

Simon was also behind Adam to win Idol.   He did not look too happy when the winner was announced.  Maybe it was the vote against gays or the momentum the religious right has built up from Miss California’s hate against us.  Maybe it was just the fact that Kris Allen is cute as a button and acted so gay friendly that gays even voted for him.  In the end, Adam had the better voice and could out sing Kris but they were really two different types of performers.  So the right thing to do should have been for Kris to say hey this is a tie. I am giving my award to both of us.

The gays already lost with Clay Aiken losing to Ruben Studdard.   There is no way in hell Ruben was better than Clay Aiken at that point anyway.  Clay Aiken was clean cut though and never had the creative energy we see with Adam Lambert.

It is no surprise that a gay got that far in any competition.  I mean if you really think Benji from So You Think You Can Dance is straight or Travis for that matter then think again. Look at most of Hollywood and you will see lots of gays in the closet.  The sad thing is that they want us to put on an act for them 100% of the time and live our lives for them.  If gay marriage does become legal I will not be living my life for the religious right people to live how they think I should live.  I will still be my creative, innovative, ambitious, fun, passionate self and I hope everyone else does too.  So don’t go closing down the nightclubs I will be out to dance!

As for the rest of the Idol show it was mostly great.  Rod Stewart scared me a few times I thought he was going to fall over with his drunken walk.  What was the deal with Fergie and the black eyed peas they seemed to cut away from that performance with the Idol logo and some type of time delay as if something was said after she sung the word “staggered”.  Was she predicting Rod Stewart staggering around?  The time delay part was strange or it was a major technical error.

It was great to see Cyndi lauper perform although I would have loved to her one of her newer songs that were big hits in our community last year.  My top moments of the night were Adam Lambert singing with KISS, Queen performance with Kris and Adam, and Kara DioGuardi singing to Mariah and bearing some skin for us.

Kara DioGuardi was the sexiest thing on the stage last night.  It was hot to see her show some skin and that black bikini thong.  You go girl!  I earned lots of respect for Kara with that performance.

Adam should have won but he will most likely sell more records than Kris Allen anyway.  Someone like Adam Lambert probably does not want the American Idol contract… he probably wants to do his own thing anyway which is why he was pleased from the results on his facial expressions.  He was probably thinking “thank God!”  Kelly Clarksen has been trying to change her image from the Idol winner for years.

They plan to go on tour this fall but I will just wait for Adam Lambert’s tour in a few years when its not the rest of them.  Until then it’s Green Day, No Doubt, and Beyonce on tour!  If you live in Europe you can even catch Madonna.

Girl Bar in Los Angeles has inspired the L-Word and remains one of the most happening lesbian hot spots on the West Coast. Girl Bar now runs lesbian nights in Chicago, Las Vegas and Phoenix as well as LA. The dance floor is active and energetic and drinks flow freely. While this bar has a reputation for a lipstick lesbian crowd, the actual mix is much more varied.

Henrietta Hudson Bar and Girl in New York City offers a variety of music, with live music twice a week. Drink specials, dancing and pool make Henrietta Hudson’s a good bet for both West Village locals and tourists. Henrietta’s is open 7 days and nights a week.

Chances in Houston, Texas offers something for nearly every lesbian, with four distinct bars and clubs under one roof. You can dance the night away at G-Spot, hang out with friends in the neighborhood bar Chances, lounge in the ChiChi Martini lounge or two step in The New Barn.

Phase 1 on Capitol Hill in Washington DC is the oldest lesbian bar in the country, opened in 1970. Music at Phase 1 ranges from hip hop to queer punk, with drag king nights, pool and drinks located near everything in the city.

Sue Ellen’s in Dallas, Texas is situated in the old Throckmorton Mining Company. Since the reopening in the spring of 2008, it is one of the largest lesbian bars in the country and one of the best gay or lesbian bars in the country.  Sue Ellen’s includes a lounge, dance floor and space for live music.

While these are some of the best lesbian nightclubs in the US, you may find lesbian nights at great gay clubs throughout the country or find that your local gay and lesbian club is the right fit for your community.  You might want to check out each bar or clubs website and see their calendar of events for live bands and Pride activities.

Now all the talking heads on TV are going after Wanda Sykes head.  But not her liver I don’t guess.  Why is it that no one is realizing she is a comedian.  She is not stooping down to Rush Limbaugh’s level because he is NOT a comedian as funny and entertaining as he may seem to some wackos.  Rush Limbaugh is a talking head slash pundit or political commentator or talk show host who should be held up the standards that everyone is holding Wanda Sykes up to.  Why is it that Wanda says something everyone goes bananas and Rush says something no one fears.

I don’t think people should be wishing someone ill health.. death.. or pain of any kind.   I think the context and the joking manner was different than someone like Bill O’Reilly or a non-comedian saying it.  The View commented on Wanda and even Whoppi said “it wasn’t funny”.  But what about the entire speech?  I mean seriously.  If no one laughed as they say during that part of the speech they sure loved all of it before that and after that from what I saw.  It’s funny on some shows the Miss California speech had boos and others had claps as if they edited the sound to make it look on some shows that Miss. California had supporters.  Perez Hilton says there were more people booing in the audience though.  Which makes me skeptical of any kind of sounds in the background unless you are actually there in person.

Let’s not forget how great the speech was. I thoroughly enjoyed it and had to watch it several times as it was very entertaining. If you have not watched the entire video (parts 1 and 2) make sure you do because what the media shows are just small cuts.

Wanda Sykes goes on tour this Summer as part of the True Colors comedy leg. Wanda recently came out (again) for gay rights because of Proposition 8 in California and has since been a strong advocate and help to gay rights.

Congrat’s on your new born baby
In other big news today Wanda Sykes’ wife gave birth to twins Daughter Olivia Lou and Son Lucas Claude.

We are speaking of a site that is 14-years-old and generates more than 20 billion page views per month in 50 countries and has had one murder case in Boston change the entire category for every city.  I know the Rick Sanchez and Bill O’s have been bitching for weeks about it but they are looking for an excuse to have the sections removed.  They scrape through the news everyday to find things they feel are not acceptable for others they feel should be changed.  The real wanna-be gods of our generation…because we are not adult enough to do things ourselves.

The section is not completely removed though.  It is now a Adult section under Personals in which the service providers pay a $10 fee and approved ads will be eligible for reposting at $5.  The ads will be approved by a person which will be different from the algorithm they used before.

On this same subject I watched Elliott Spitzer speak on Prostitution with Rachel Maddow yesterday and in the interview Spitzer answered as if prostitution was a victim crime and it should not be legal (but yet it was for him to take part in it).  Whether it is massage with a happy ending or more physical intercourse I think that prostitution really is not a crime that has a victim.  It is two adults consenting and unless someone is being forced into having sex like they do in some countries as slaves or such then there should be nothing wrong with it.

Is the acai berry really a superfood? Extreme claims about this berry suggest that it has cancer fighting powers, can speed up weight loss and metabolism, slow aging and improve overall health. Even conservative analysis shows high concentrations of antioxidants, vitamins, and essential fatty acids.

Studies have shown that there are highly bioavailable antioxidants in acai berries, in quantities 10 times higher than those of red grapes and 10 to 30 times higher than red wine. The berry contains a balance of amino acids ideal for good muscular health. Specifics on the antioxidant absorption of acai berries can be found at Science Daily online. The essential fatty acids in these berries contain monounsaturated oleic acid, similar to olive oil. High levels of protein and fiber make this an excellent addition to any diet. The theobromine in these berries does cause a mild stimulant effect for some people.

While the acai berry is clearly a nutritionally dense and well balanced food, can it stand up to the miracle superfood and health claims suggested by some? While it has been called the #1 superfood in the world, there is not yet any proof that adding acai berry juice or pulp to your diet will not change your life or health in dramatic or amazing ways. There have been a few promising studies, including a University of Florida study that showed that acai berries triggered a self destruct response in cancer cells; however, this was just a cell culture study.  More information is available at University of Florida site.  Further studies may show additional benefits to these berries, but many of the claims are currently unfounded.

Acai berry is certainly a healthy addition to your diet, whether you opt for pulp or juice. There is, however, no proof that you will lose weight, change your health or live longer because you drink juice containing acai berries or take acai berry supplements. As is true of most foods, it is best to consume the food as opposed to supplements containing the food.

Some of the most significant of these rights and benefits are largely financial or property rights. Without the protections of legal marriage, couples are not be entitled to survivor’s benefits, pension rights, medicaid, income tax exemptions and deductions and certain veteran’s benefits. In the case of the loss of a partner, inheritance is not automatic and property may be held up in probate even if a will is present or ownership was joint. Couples also lack the rights of legal divorce, including property division laws.

In personal and family terms, without legal marriage rights, adoption and child custody issues are problematic. Child support may not be legally mandated during a break up. Children of the relationship, if not legally adopted or biological, will not be entitled to survivors’ benefits and other rights. Bereavement, maternity and paternity leave, and sick leave are not legally protected outside of marriage. In case of a medical crisis or the death of a partner, marriage confers automatic next of kin status and the right to make all medical and end of life decisions. Immigration law impacts many couples and families. A married citizen can legally sponsor their spouse for legal status or citizenship. Gay couples have no such option and in some cases end up opting to live outside the US or separately.

In the courts, gay individuals may have less protection against domestic violence. Judicial protections and spousal immunity only apply to legal marriages. Wrongful death benefits, including the right to sue, only apply to the legal next of kin.

The full repeal of DOMA and federal recognition of same-sex marriages will allow couples across the country to access federal marriage rights, even if their own states do not support or allow for gay marriages. This offers the potential for equality for all couples and families in terms of both financial and legal rights.

We can see how this new line of underwear looks on the dark-skinned Puerto Rican hottie but what about on a skinny white boy? Well you can send in your photos to the website at discovalante.com wearing their products and be featured in the sightings section where you could be rated.

The company was founded by a Active duty naval officer. Nicholas Cassadine, a US Naval Academy graduate, also runs a Jock muscle protein supplement business marketed towards gays.

The article sent to us is from The Body (thebody.com).  They basically said that there is no need to panic if you have HIV and are worried about contracting the Swine Flu anymore than someone without HIV or AIDS.  You are not a special case and there is no emergent need to take any special precaution.

I’ve been reassuring my patients that they don’t really have to think about this flu differently than anyone else. And that’s in part because most of my patients are on HIV treatment and have undetectable viral loads and have decent CD4 counts. So for them, it really is not a special issue. It’s an issue we all have to be concerned about.

There was also a good question asked if the drugs Tamiflu and Relenza would interact with current HIV meds:

No, the drug can be used with antiretrovirals. There are no significant drug interactions. It can be used with the drugs we commonly use to treat or prevent pneumonia. So that really should not be a concern, but do keep in mind that if you were to develop flu and then develop pneumonia — of course by then, I hope you would be under the care of a doctor — that Bactrim [co-trimoxazole] may not be the right drug. So Bactrim’s a good drug for pneumocystis, but not a great drug for the types of pneumonia that might complicate flu.

I actually read two really good articles on the Swine Flu today one from Bottom line magazine that said to take some immune boosting supplements.  Keeping your immune system strong at a time like this is vital to staying away from this Swine Flu outbreak.  Actually turning down the TV to something other than Swine Flu news might also boost your immune system.  The media hype may not be too good either!

Some natural health fighting ways for ANYONE to stay away from the Swine Flu are to take Selenium, Vitamin C and D, and Lomatium dissectum, a member of the parsley family.   Selenium is the essential trace mineral is a valuable antioxidant that prevents cell damage from free radicals.

Selenium helps the immune system recognize viruses and block them from entering cells, explains Dr. Rubman. He recommends a dose of 400 micrograms (mcg) to 500 mcg a day divided into three parts — that is about four times the usual.

This doctor also advises to wash your hands a lot and to make sure you sneeze into a napkin or tissue instead of your own germ filled hands.  Another thing that caught my eye is the concoction he made up with Red Hot Chili peppers:

Another of Dr. Rubman’s flu-fighting favorites is a spicy tea concocted from echinacea, goldenseal, slippery elm bark and just a touch of the red-hot pepper capsicum. Echinacea, goldenseal and capsicum team up to fight off germs, while slippery elm allows the tea to coat the back of the throat, where viruses are most likely to take hold.

Here’s how to make it: At your local health-food store, purchase one-half ounce of powdered goldenseal root… one-half ounce of powdered echinacea root (not the whole plant)… two ounces of slippery elm bark powder… and one teaspoon of capsicum.

At home, put ingredients in a brown paper bag or plastic baggie, close tightly and shake. Transfer the contents to a screw-top jar. Give this jar a shake each time you use it in order to remix the ingredients.

To make the tea, pour one cup of very hot water into a mug over one-half teaspoon of the powder.

Maybe its safer to be prepared for this outbreak or we are all reacting too crazily and panicing.  A part of me thinks this is mostly media ratings hype and they could not have begged for something more dramatic to talk about.  I mean they asked Paris Hilton about it (TMZ) but showed it on the local Fox News.  Closing down schools and quarantining people is way out of hand.  When they are quarantining people they have taken things too far.  One thing we must realize is we have messed with nature so much that things like this will happen and we better get used to big challenges – we have treated animals so badly with hormones and made plants/seeds hybrid (thanks monsanto) and put so many pesticides into the ground among loosing so much of our natural surroundings.  We all might want to think about a stockpile of food and water for any kind of emergency where we are not able to go into public.

What if you catch Swine Flu?  There is a natural remedy that the big pharmaceutical companies do not tell you about:Classical Homeopathy (Medical Guides to Complementary and Alternative Medicine.)

Here are some popular iPhone Apps:

1.  Grindr – At GetGrindr.com you can download the app to meet guys near you on your iPhone.  Sort of like a Manhunt.net for the iPhone addicts.

2. The Gay Community App – launched in Sydney, Australia earlier this year has generated a buzz around the world.  This is a unique iPhone App allowing users to chat and meet like-minded people in their communities they live in or travel to.  It works by using the iPhones GPS and navigation to let them know whats going on in the local gay scene, make new friends, and possibly find a hottie near you.

You can find this download for the iPhone at gaycommunityapp.com or in the Apple iTunes App Store.  One of the neat things this app has is that it has a Gaydar search listing other app users by distance from your location or from one that you specify.  Facebook and twitter style profile updates.  There is a buddy list to keep track of people and location mapping system via Google Maps.

3.  G.I.R.L. Dance Radio - I at first thought this was a lesbian radio station only but I guess it means gay as in all gays and just an acronym for the G.I.R.L.  But if you want an Iphone application free with streaming of hot dance music you should download the Gay Internet Radio Live app which gives you a 128k and 64k stream.  They even have an instant feedback link to email station DJ’s.  The song information is displayed on your iPhone on each track so you can buy it when you get home and goto MasterBeat or from your phone.  This is great for working out and not having to hear the same dance playlist you always had.

4. Gaycities – iPhone app to rate gay-friendly bars, hotels, clubs, and beaches worldwide.

5.  MyGayGo – similar to the GayCities app which lets you locate gay businesses near you from publishers of Frontiers and IN.

6. Yelp – not a gay app but you can add all your gay friends on here and get the best restaurants in the United States when you travel.  Does not work yet for France where you damn well need it.  I had one of the worst Mexican food dishes there (hey they told me it was Tex-Mex I was a “tourist”)!

7.  Pride – free app that turns the screen into a rainbow flag that fades away into the word PRIDE.  For those of you who get amused by screen savers and 80s videos.  Seems like you could do this with a Nokia phone why need an iPhone?

8. Skout is a personals site offering a iphone app you can use on your new iPhone 3GS.  You can download it free at boyahoy.com.

I hope they develop some of these same applications for the new Palm Pre coming out in May.  The Pre is set to be the next best thing to the iPhone for those of us Sprint users.

Updated iPhone apps

And as for gay idols there have been many in America.  Come to think of it when you think of music and acting almost the higher percentage is gay.  So why are the talking heads like Bill O’Reilly blubbering that its shocking that Adam Lambert could be gay.  Big deal he had some pics online of him making out with other guys on Myspace or some social network.  Who cares? I never knew there was a law against making out.

The media is so set on shocking people and trying out out people.  We should be focused on the quality of the talent and not the reputation from the media.  Of course what else will people like Bill O’Reilly do for his ratings if he can’t diss on gays or MSNBC.

Adam Lambert’s Myspace is private so you can’t peek inside unless he adds you as a friend and it seems he has not even signed in since February.  His being gay is no ones business but some of us gays want to know because it does mention single on his profile :).

Adam is the best thing that has happened to American Idol in a long time.  I Tivo the show each night and would be highly disappointed if he got voted off somehow.  He brings talent to the show of someone with creativity we do not see often and he is 27 years old.  Not only would it be nice for a gay person to win assuming hes gay but it would be nice for someone in their higher age group to win.

His favorite artists include Lady Gaga, Madonna, and Pink.  Three divas that are the best things to happen to music.  When he came on stage to do the Mad World song it was like Elvis had walked on stage.  He is such a great performer and I look forward to next week.

Is Adam Lambert Gay?  Judge for yourself.  Life has mystery for a reason.  It’s shocking to me that people search more about peoples personal lives than their actual talent such as their videos perfoming.

Has Amazon turned into the new Wal-Mart when it comes to censoring music and books?   Amazon claims this is a computer glitch and all of the books will be re-listed in the top sales rankings.  If we see anything happen like this again we need to investigate the situation more and evaluate if a major boycott of Amazon needs to take place.  Until we find out more on the situation you should get your books from gay friendly bookstores in your local cities.  It is a shame so many historic gay bookstores have went out of business such as the Crossroads in Dallas and the Oscar Wilde Bookshop closed down just last month.  We have got to support our gay neighborhoods and bookstores or they will close down and who will look out for our rights then?

You can still buy most of these books at Amazon.com but the high sales come from them being rated higher.   Publications can rarely survive if they have no rankings.

OK, but what about the new store opening in a place where it would be almost impossible to live (with the cute penguins pictured).  Or the spiders they are giving away at the Tulsa store with each banana purchase.  Hey this was a good one since there was a spider finding the Tulsa Whole foods that looked like an exotic deadly spider.

This all came to me in an email earlier today and for some reason I actually read the deals in the email when I normally do not.  They caught me on a good day.  April 1st.. the most creative april fools joke i have seen yet today.  Whole foods is my favorite place to shop–One of the first things I look for if I move is to have a Whole Foods near me!

Perez Hilton claims her show was all a lip sync but I have heard others say its an awesome show and that most of the seats are good seats because the way the show is setup in the round seating.  Which I normally do not care for Round seating.

If you got some Britney Tickets there is no telling what people are willing to give up to get them.  Just check your local Craigs Listing =)

We have to thank LOGO for bringing us such good shows as the Drag Race although I think everyone was in shock that BeBe won instead of Nina Flowers.  Most of the Myspace bulletions being sent out right now all think that Nina should have won.  I thought she was more fierce than Bebe Zahara Benet who won tonight.  Bebe seemed to look down too much in the background and just did not seem as magical.  I thought her crying was not all that real but maybe it was.. I will have to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I felt so sorry for Rebecca Glasscock she was under so much pressure on the Season Finale.  Having to make up a rap with Cazwell, learning choreagraphy for RuPaul’s new video, and preparing for a fate fullfilled lunch of tic tacs with RuPaul can be pretty stressful but she should have had more fun with it and had less attitude with the judges.  It says on the LOGO site that Rebecca is from Ft. Lauderdale which I frequent quite a bit but have never heard of her.  I would love to check out her show if she performs with Daisy Deadpettles at Voodoo Lounge on Sundays or wherever she does her show.  I am surprised Daisy D was not in the show she could easily be the next Supermodel drag queen.   Rebecca was stunning in drag and cute out of drag but just did not make the cut.

Ongina had the fiercest cat walk out of all of them but she probably did not deserve to get as far as she did.  I like to see some wigs when I watch drag.  Furthermore, I especially loved the episode with the butch boxer/fighter girls being made over.  That was an emotional episode for me.

This reminds me of American Idol in the way that the winner is normally not the person that you really remember.  I bet the people that stick in our heads more will be Rebecca Glasscock and Nina Flowers.  Nina Flowers will be the Clay Aiken of the competition.

Supermodel, You better Work!

There are more resources out there than you might expect for GLBT parents. In larger cities, your local gay and lesbian support organizations may offer support groups, and these can be a great way to normalize life for your children. Also, if you attend a queer friendly church, like the United Church of Christ, Unitarian, or Episcopalian, you may find couples or singles with children in the congregation. Local and nationwide organizations, like Rainbow Families at rainbowfamilies.org and Colage and colage.org are working to help families and children navigate a homophobic world.

Unfortunately, many of us will navigate our families’ lives in areas without good support resources. Parents in this situation may find themselves turning toward online resources to get the support and information that they need to help their children cope with homophobia and the realities of a different family structure. Proudparenting.com is one possible source of this support, as is http://www.queerparents.org/. Gay parents may also find blogs of other gay and lesbian parents a helpful networking tool. PlanetOut.com does have a queer parenting board, and you will find message boards for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered parents at many larger parenting sites. You may even find local families via these online resources.

Do be sure that you offer your children books, television shows, and other media that show families like theirs. Illustrating in clear terms to young children that families can come in all forms is an important validation for children. Gayparentingpage.com/Books_for_kids.htm offers a list of books with GLBT families shown.

While support, information and resources are critical, it is equally important to realize that most of the parenting dilemmas faced by queer parents are not so different from those of everyone else. Children face social difficulties regardless of their family situation and may struggle with these differences and situations. Making sure that you equip your children with information and support, and that they come home to a supportive household will go far in terms of making them comfortable in their lives. Unfortunately, homophobia will likely be a fact in our children’s lives, but with open communication and honesty, we can manage it and raise strong and happy children.

Members of the Westboro Church had plans to protest The Laramie Project, which is a play about Matthew Shepard who died from being brutally beat to death in Wyoming.  It was hate that caused this death.

I am glad to see the UK take a stand and not allow such extremism in their country.  Free speech is one thing but to protest soldiers funerals and plays which try and teach love instead of hate then these people are nut bags that should not be allowed to leave the mental home for one thing.

I wonder if this means that the hate filled rhetoric which Sally Kerns is on this list as well?

Where is the love with all these big mouths anyway?  Do they not know how to love or is all they do obsess and hate other groups?  They need to get a life for one.  They don’t want you in the UK and we certainly do not want you in our towns so stay home you haters.

Yes, we love the UK!

Marriage remains a big issue this year. New Hampshire and Maine will likely see marriage equality in 2009. New York, California, and New Jersey all have a good chance of truly equal marriages at the state level this year as well. See gayrights.change.org for a breakdown of the issue in each state and the chances of success.

During his campaign, Obama pledged his support for the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, a full repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act, hate crimes legislation, and a repeal of don’t ask, don’t tell legislation. Unfortunately, all of these require not just presidential authority, but also the support of the House and Senate. Democratic gains in these important races in the 2008 elections may make all the difference here as well.

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act or ENDA was approved by the House in 2007, but died in the Senate. It is reasonable to expect that ENDA or a similar bill incorporating protections for sexual orientation and hopefully, gender identity, will be passed in 2009.

While the chances of a full repeal of DOMA in 2009 seem slim, a Repeal DOMA protest is planned for January 10, 2009 nationwide. More information is available at queersunited.blogspot.com.

An improved federal hate crimes law including sexual orientation and gender identity seems ripe for passage this year. The Matthew Shepard Act passed both the House and Senate in 2008 and was nearly sent onto the president as a part of a Department of Defense Reauthorization package. A threatened veto prevented the possible passage of this bill. The 2007 Matthew Shepard Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act (LLEHCPA) includes protections and data collection for hate crimes based on sexual identity, gender identity and gender. Dailykos.com offers a thorough overview of this issue.

While repealing don’t ask, don’t tell remains a priority for this administration, experts do not expect action to be taken in 2009. After the clear failure of don’t ask, don’t tell as a means of correcting long term military policy towards gays and lesbians, it is likely that this issue will be a sensitive one.

What can you do? Write your congresspeople. Write your senators. Call them. If there is an opportunity in your state for a town hall meeting, take the chance to speak to them in person. If issues come up in your town, city or state, be aware and do what you can. Be a face and a voice for change.

Watch out for people such as Sally Kerns who will be out there saying the craziest of things to get attention and make sure crazy witches like her do not get re-elected.  We should start now and prepare ourselves for the governor races for next year in states such as California and Texas.  There is a lot to do!

Sometimes nothing other than an expensive gift will do. A meaningful piece of jewelry or an inscribed watch may be the right present for the special person in your life. If you were pondering popping the big question, perhaps you are engagement ring shopping this year. There is something to be said for a gift that your partner can wear each day as a tangible reminder of your love.

Time together is another option when you are planning your romantic holiday together. In today’s busy world, spending time together can be one of the best gifts you can give your partner. Whether you plan a vacation together or simply a night out, taking time out of your lives to devote to one another is both a great option for romance and relationship building. Planning a day together doing something your partner loves, whether it’s a ball game or an outing to the art museum is sure to be a much treasured memory of Valentine’s Day 2008.

Some of the best romantic gifts are the ones that cost next to nothing. Write your partner a love letter, make a mix CD or play list with songs that matter to the two of you, or if you are creatively inclined, write a song or poem for your partner. While gifts from the heart may seem a bit cliche, they can be the most meaningful in any relationship. Even if you plan a day out or give an expensive gift, adding something handmade and from the heart can make this the best Valentine’s Day of your relationship.

Traditionally, flowers and Valentine Roses(possibly organic) present a sweet gift but then again there is always more room for something more romantic or something more creative.

What do you want your partner to get you on Valentines Day? A Romantic, Candle-Lit Date?

For those of you guys who like the AnF look keep in mind that it is Ed Hardy that is selling off the shelves and other clothes that really look a lot like the line that Target is carrying right now. Seriously, Target is carrying a pretty nice line of clothes that looks a lot like what you can buy at Pac Sun. Not that I am going to be seen wearing it.

The winner for the last few months is Ed Hardy. You go out and it is almost overkill in some cities like Hollister was a few years ago. This may be why the Buckle revenue (BKE) is doing so well compared to slowing revenue at Abercrombie and Fitch. Aeropostale is also seeing revenue growth which is a knock off, cheaper AnF. The Buckle sells lots of shirts and jeans that resemble the Ed Hardy line.

Here are some ads from the Abercrombie chain of stores featuring Hollister surfer style, AnF, and Ruehl. The Ruehl photo was my favorite because it actually shows the Spring shirt that will be presented at the retail chain but the store itself kind of bores me.

We are looking for someone with at least 3 years of experience web design with Wordpress, PHP, CSS, MySQL, HTML, ASP, JavaScript, Flash, Adobe/Macromedia products. Although, If you are just knowledgeable in Wordpress and databases we still may be able to use you.

We are looking to clean up our database that has totally been trashed on Wordpress, get rid of other messy Wordpress and add-on glitches, and add some design work.  We also have an .asp site that has design problems that need to be worked on.

Send us an email to this contact us or email us with any sites you have worked on before and your speciality.

The privacy thing online I will agree has gone too far. We should not be able to see what our neighbors are doing or have done. Even if they did something horrible they should still have a chance to be forgiven and not treated like the scarlet letter. This is certainly not Google’s fault this is happening. It is the fault of the jerks such as Bill O’Reilly who want all the doings of people be stated all over the place. They started this and now they don’t want to be the ones in the spotlight. They do not want their houses appearing as the jerk or pinhead or bad guy or soul less person.

Eightmaps.com is where you can find the proposition 8 supports and see if they live in your neighborhood. This is a fantastic idea given that EVERYTHING and anything else can be detected online these days. I guarantee these same pinheads that want to do away with everyone’s privacy will start wishing they had some privacy of their own. This is also a good idea because its good to be able to see what neighbor donated to Prop 8 and is fake to your face. Talk about “coming out” of the closet.

Bill O’Reilly discussed this on his show as if it would be used as a violent weapon. This is used not for violence but to find out who near them they know are against what they believe and find out who they can trust in their neighborhood. It will show people to think twice before they donate towards hate. Eightmaps showed great initiative in doing this and I applaud them.

After all would you rather live in a neighborhood where Sally Kerns lives or one of these freaky prop 8 supporters. Those people looked scary from the videos.. I mean how long since they have been laid or are they also coming up for the Child Molestation on the map pins as well? That would be like living on Freddy Kruger lane.

Who owns 8 maps?  This site is privately listed just like most of the sites on the internet so the hag from Townhall.com saying that the owners of the site are hiding out and are cowards has no idea what she’s talking about.  Although, I do think there needs to be more regulation on private domain names because I have had many people copy my site and end up having to try to find the owners for stealing my content.  Billoreilly.com is not even listed in his name Bill O’Reilly.  Hey, if the owner of 8 maps wants to contact me then please do so because I would love to advertise on your site and support it!

Which resolutions have a chance of sticking? Probably none of mine, if we’re all honest. That said, there are resolutions that work. Do you need to spend more time with friends and family? This one sticks, for many people. If you’ve resolved to learn something new, and take active steps to get started, you might manage to keep this one as well. Taking steps now, while you’re enthused and energetic about your resolutions can help you to keep them. Schedule regular time with friends today and enroll in that class or order the book.

Consider enlisting a friend or significant other for support. You may simply need someone to help keep you on track or you may want to find a friend with a similar resolution for the New Year. Getting to the gym is more likely if you have someone to go with you and eating right is easier if you’re all having salad. If you’ve committed to improving at work, make an appointment to talk to your boss and ask for a review or ask a coworker for their honest assessment. Consider hiring a personal trainer, nutritionist or organizer if you think it would help you. For some of us, putting our money where our resolutions are can make all the difference.

My partner didn’t make any resolutions. There was a speech about constant self improvement, not just at New Year’s. I don’t know that I believe this. New to do lists have appeared on my refrigerator and entries in that long ignored blog. I am glad not to be the only one hoping for a bit of self improvement in our house this year.

I’ve ticked things off my to do list, including writing this today. I’ve made a healthy dinner and called my mother. I’m off to try to figure out how to use that Wii Fit I’ve had for six months and then I think I’ll go reward myself with a brownie. I meant to bake more this year, after all…

Just think the Nation itself will have one great New Year’s Resolution accomplished bringing in a New President and hopefully seeing a brighter economy and more peace in the world.

If you have been single all along, you can probably stop reading right now. You likely have the social life you want, simply because it’s never been significantly changed in one way or the other and has evolved to meet your interests and lifestyle. There is nothing at all wrong with being happily single and living a full life on your own.

More of us, however, are single due to being either newly out or newly broken up. While you might have meandered into your local gay bar and found yourself either ignored or fresh meat, depending on your community, perhaps this is not what you’re looking for at all. You can meet people, find friends and develop relationships within the gay and lesbian community without setting foot in a drag show, drinking shots out of test tubes or otherwise potentially embarrassing yourself in a drunken stupor.

What can you do? Even in smaller cities, you do have many options to meet people outside of the bar subculture. First, become involved in things you love that matter. It does not matter if that is the local animal shelter or the local arts scene. Consider volunteering your time with gay, lesbian and other queer causes. Many of those who volunteer are in a place in their lives that is also incompatible with weekends drinking in the bars. Be open and honest about who you are, whenever you feel safe and comfortable doing so. You might be surprised who you can meet. Moreover, making the most of your life and your time will make for a happy and full life, whether you are alone or not. Once you feel comfortable in your own skin and your own life, if you want to actively pursue finding a relationship, consider on line dating options, social networking sites, and even just putting the word out to friends that you’re looking. Many great relationships have been made by matchmaking friends.

We are excited to bring you something you can really use in this day of too much information and never being able to find anything online.  There are many, many websites that make things too hard to find coupons, discounts, sales and most anything for the male consumer.  It was even hard to find the Men’s Express clothing store in some malls and online.

I have compiled a search engine that makes it so you can search out specific things such as mens hoodies, belts, and hard to find cuffs and bracelets.  You will be able to find Puma shoes, converse, and cute tighty undies from sites such as Andrew Christian in the search.  I have included gay retailers, the biggest trend setting retailers such as MetroPark, The Buckle, Ed Hardy, Guess, A/X, and Hollister.  Department stores such as Macy’s large database can also be found in here.

Feel free to comment to add a store that you feel is not included in the search.  I will check out as many magazines like Instinct and Details to find the hottest fashions for guys and make sure those links are included for this search engine to seek out.

This is a really cool project and will be fun to get all of these clothing stores and smaller shops together into one search without having to weed through all the junk on the internet.  These will be the more fashionable retailers for college, teen, and young adults.

We expect to have one of these available for the girls next year so stay tuned and send us suggestions for both.

MSNBC anchor Rachel Maddow is finding her way into millions of American households and has improved the network’s ratings during the 9:00 PM hour. She’s insightful, liberal, politically savvy and openly gay. Maddow started her public media career on Air America with her own liberal talk radio show. Maddow’s radio show covers both headline news and the political analysis behind the headlines. She appeared on both CNN and MSNBC in 2005 and 2006, adding her voice to election coverage on CNN’s Paula Zahn Now. In January, 2008 she was named a political analyst for MSNBC, appearing on “Countdown with Keith Olbermann” and “Race for the White House”. The Rachel Maddow Show began on MSNBC on September 8, 2008, airing at 9:00 PM Eastern every weekday. She continues her Air America radio program nightly at 6:00 PM Eastern. Maddow’s show, along with Olbermann’s, provides MSNBC viewers with a full three hours of liberal commentary, debate and discussion weeknight.

Maddow is a former Rhodes Scholar with a P.h.D. in political science from Lincoln College at Oxford University. Prior to her work as a political commentator and television and radio host, she worked in both HIV/AIDS activism and prison reform, making these the subject of her doctoral dissertation. Her radio career began on stations in Massachusetts, eventually leaving for Air America’s Unfiltered and later her own show.

Rachel Maddow’s shows, both on radio and TV, offer a funny and quick moving look at the news of the day, politics and pop culture. Her radio show typically includes a look at the war and life in wartime in Iraq, “underbelly” which looks at the politics behind the news, and interviews with various political and pop culture icons. Her MSNBC show offers interviews with journalists and newsmakers of all sorts, a look at underreported news stories, and a regular segment called “Talk Me Down” about the day’s news.

She is open about her personal life, and was the first out gay or lesbian individual to become a Rhodes Scholar. Today, she splits her time between New York City and a home in rural Massachusetts with her partner, artist Susan Mikula. The couple has been together since 1999.

In 2008, Maddow topped Out Magazines “Out 100 List” of the most culture moving gay men and women in America. Whether you consider her a broadcaster, a news anchor or a political pundit, Rachel Maddow has brought a new face and a new voice to both a major news network. Maddow is an intelligent voice for liberal politics and a liberal agenda, but does it with class, grace and top notch debating skills.  She also received the cover of the Advocate magazine and named the “Smartest Woman on Television.”

Here are some quotes we have seen on blogs about Rachel Maddow’s success on MSNBC:

“It is so good to see a SMART woman who doesn’t have bleached blond hair with low cut dresses on as a host of a good “talking heads” show…and of course, I agree with her most of the time.  I sometimes catch her at 1 am and usually do not watch during prime time but guess I should record (I am often up at 1 am)” – Mary, Chicago

People overall seem to like Rachel because she is nice and smart without being as cocky as her male counterparts.  We still watch Keith Olbermann on Countdown but love the addition to MSNBC.  I have to at least watch his special comments and the Worst Persons in the World showdown.  I am mostly happy about her beating Sean Hannity and Colmes in some of the ratings because we deserve good, quality reporting and journalism instead of all the trash repeated all day on Fox News.  The funny thing about all of this is that I originally had a dream Rachel would get her own show on MSNBC then she started filling in for Keith and it all began.

Two out gay actors can be seen on major network television each week. Neil Patrick Harris has a major role as Barney Stinson in CBS’ How I Met Your Mother. Grey’s Anatomy star T.R. Knight is also out of the closet and open about his sexuality. Both play straight characters and both were first outed by the incessant rumor mills of Hollywood, but acknowledged their sexuality publicly and openly. While based in Britain, Sir Ian McKellan is perhaps the most famous gay actor working in films today. McKellan came out in 1988 and is a prominent voice for gay men in television and films. Out gay men in Hollywood remain a rarity. Rumors fly that leading men are gay or bisexual, but they keep their private lives private to preserve their careers in a homophobic world.

Out lesbians are more common, and possibly more accepted in Hollywood. Ellen and Portia’s recent wedding made the cover of major magazines in grocery stores across America. Rosie O’Donnell has been out for several years and remains a vocal figure in the entertainment world. Lindsay Lohan’s recent acknowledgement of her relationship reveals a new generation of young, out celebrities. Criminal Minds’ star Kristin Vangsness and Fringe actress Jasika Nicole are both open about their sexuality. While Jodie Foster has guarded her privacy for many years, she did out herself in a thanks to her partner Cyndey Bernard in December of 2007. Comedian Wanda Sykes officially outed herself in the wake of the Proposition 8 vote. Sex in the City actress Cynthia Nixon has also come out publicly, with no harm done to her career. Women clearly can keep their careers and sex appeal in Hollywood in a way that gay men may not yet be capable of, even if they are willing to let the public know about their private relationships.

The recent release of Milk has left some asking whether straight actors can and should play gay when it’s appropriate or if gay actors should be favored for gay roles.  While Milk, like Brokeback Mountain, includes prominent Hollywood actors, they are all straight actors. Many gay actors find themselves nearly exclusively limited to gay roles. It is no significant surprise that many gay and lesbian actors simply keep their private lives hidden from public view to avoid losing access to good roles and opportunities.

Who’s Next?

The cover of OUT Magazine had Paul Wentz from Fall Out Boy declaring he was a “Fa-g” but for reals we know better than that.  He is one hell of a hot metrosexual. American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken came out in 2008 but we all sort of knew that was coming.  Who will be the next Celebrity to come out of the closet? Stay tuned for what 2009 has in store!

One option that some couples choose is to simply retain their own finances. They split expenses in a way that is even and fair, share the costs of entertainment, food, and dining out, and retain two checking accounts, separate savings and investments. They may or may not have a joint account to cover household expenses and split those accordingly. This option can make managing vacations, home purchases, and major costs of that sort more challenging, but also protects each partner’s financial independence. This option is less effective if there is a significant financial disparity between partners, if one becomes unemployed, or if a partner stays home to raise children. This choice may be wise if the two of you find communicating about money matters especially challenging.

A middle of the road option allows both couples to contribute to joint savings, investments and checking accounts. Financial decisions are made jointly; however, both partners retain their own individual checking and credit accounts and free access to their own funds. This option does require more willingness to discuss money regularly and analyze how money is being used, amounts being contributed, etc. Should one partner be unemployed or there be a substantial financial disparity, this may require additional discussion to keep financial equality within the relationship.

Finally, the couple may choose to simply combine their financial affairs, agree upon a budget and maintain entirely joint accounts. This option can be more challenging if the relationship fails, since both partners’ money is entangled in joint financial affairs. It is, however, a more equitable choice if one partner is staying at home with children. Do be sure that you have good communication over money if sharing finances this fully. You may need to discuss spending on a regular basis and be certain to have a budget and stick to that budget.

Whichever financial choice you make as you blend households, keep in mind that money is a problem for many couples. If you find yourselves struggling with communication issues related to money early on, consider meeting with a relationship counselor or financial advisor to help you plan your financial future.

Many people read self help books now and again, and some of the most popular concern relationships. Keeping a long term relationship happy, passionate and loving can be a challenge regardless of the gender of your partner. Fortunately, there are a number of books on the market specifically dedicated to gay and lesbian relationships. Consider taking a look at Mackey, O’Brien, and Mackey’s Gay and Lesbian Couples: Voices from Lasting Relationships, Betty Berzon’s Permanent Partners: Building Gay and Lesbian Relationships that Last, and Tina Tessina’s Gay Relationships as a starting point if you have concerns or questions about your relationship. You may also find it helpful to read resources intended for straight couples, including the well regarded The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Do keep in mind that some of the information in resources aimed at heterosexual couples may not be useful to you, and that research does show that gay and lesbian couples often communicate quite differently due to the lack of gender roles typically present.

Some of the time our relationships do need more help than old fashioned open communication and self help books can offer. Consider relationship counseling if you and your partner are struggling. If you are part of an inclusive faith community, you may find that pastoral counseling or even relationship workshops are an option for you and your partner. If this is not an option for you, your local gay and lesbian center may be the best starting point when looking for relationship help. Mental health referrals, including those for relationship counseling, are commonplace at gay and lesbian resource centers and you can be sure that your counselor is comfortable and experienced in assisting with the issues specific to GLBTQ couples.

The same basics are true for any relationship. In order to have a healthy relationship with your partner, you need love, passion, and open communication. You also need shared interests, goals, hopes and dreams. With these in place, many of the minor challenges and struggles can be overcome to allow you and your partner to share many happy years together.

Harvey Milk is known in San Francisco and around the country as a gay leader and hero.  There will also be Memorials held in various places in time for the 30th anniversary of Harvey Milk.

Harvey Milk Memorial 11-27-08 at 9pm on sidewalks of santa monica blvd where it meets san vicente.  To create an aerial candlelit equal sign demonstrating power of peace and unity.  A dignified ceremony marking the 30th anniversary of Harvey Milk, a gay rights pioneer and the first openly gay man elected to public office.

Recently, a Harvey Milk day was vetoed by Governor Schwarzenegger on September 30.  This bill AB 2567 would require the governor proclaim May 22 each year as Harvey Milk Day.  It is too bad this did not pass but we should all go out and support the movie and attend his Memorial if in a city where either is going on.

Everyone I speak to in the gay community think that Proposition 8 in California was the best thing to ever happen to gay rights.  It not only opened up the floodgates for the LGBT community to be motivated to get out there and be active but it is really bringing us together.  I attended the rally in Houston today at city hall and took some great photos of the event.

This was a highly respectable event with people dressed nicely and showing up to support love instead of hate.  I was so impressed with the speakers and the performance from Jason and deMarco who sung in a Capella.

Two lesbians took stage who have been married and not sure their current marriage status in California gave the most emotional speech.  It was an enlightening event to bring the gay community together and see so many gay youth attending.  This was no gay pride parade, nightclub, or house party but a meeting at city halls across the nation that really showed we want and deserve marriage rights just like anyone else.  America was made to give rights to minorities not to be taken away from majorities.  It was great to see everyone out and about coming together for our futures.

First, if there is a local gay and lesbian center or organization in your area, this can be one of the best places to start looking for gay networking options. Okay, you may not be the support group type, nor in a place where you need help coming out, but quite often these centers can also offer resources, like local gay professional networking groups. If you have a local professional networking organization, this can be one of the best ways to meet other gay individuals in a relaxed setting, and might even help you make valuable professional connections. Some large corporations also maintain their own gay and lesbian professional groups within the company. If yours does, make time to participate.

Another great networking resource is local volunteer groups. You will find many LGBT folk volunteering at AIDS and HIV related organizations, but also working with queer youth, doing outreach education and volunteering in matters of sexual health. Spending some time helping out with LGBT related issues can allow you to meet others and share your skills in a meaningful way.

While it may sound simple, being out will help you to meet others. If you are open about your sexuality and relationships, you will find that others come out to you. No one is suggesting you go to work wrapped in your rainbow flag, but openness does send a message to those around you that you are comfortable in your own skin, and may allow you to meet others around you.

One website that really sticks out is Linkedin.com they feature a search where you can find other gay and lesbian professionals to show off your resume or befriend. There is also facebook but linkedin is more on the professional level for those looking to get ahead in a particular industry.

Churches seem to get the free ride when it comes to taxes and we all know they are dipping into politics way more than they should.  They should be taxed just like everyone else!  We at least need to make sure this is enforced.

We should have been undercover in the churches with small recording devices.  We damn well should have been doing this.

I think the best place to make a donation right now is lambdalegal.org to help get the ball running on this.  Marching and honking may make noise but the real noise is making phone calls and sending emails to people that can make a difference.

Here’s how you get it done:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as the “Mormon” or LDS Church) has gone too far in promoting the 2008 California Proposition 8, which would claims to amend the California state constitution to define marriage as one man and one woman in order to supersede a state supreme court opinion issued earlier this year. [Whether the proposition was a lawful amendment or a revision that cannot legally be made by a voter initiative remains an open question.]

Section 501(c)(3) of US Code Title 26, which governs tax-exempt organizations, reads (emphasis added):

(3) Corporations, and any community chest, fund, or foundation, organized and operated exclusively for religious, charitable, scientific, testing for public safety, literary, or educational purposes, or to foster national or international amateur sports competition (but only if no part of its activities involve the provision of athletic facilities or equipment), or for the prevention of cruelty to children or animals, no part of the net earnings of which inures to the benefit of any private shareholder or individual, no substantial part of the activities of which is carrying on propaganda, or otherwise attempting, to influence legislation (except as otherwise provided in subsection (h)), and which does not participate in, or intervene in (including the publishing or distributing of statements), any political campaign on behalf of (or in opposition to) any candidate for public office.

(The “otherwise provided” clause does not apply, as the LDS Church, being a church, is a disqualified entity as described in subsection (h).)

The LDS church, through inciting its members to donate time and means to support Proposition 8 (resulting in millions of dollars of cash contributions from its members and countless volunteer hours), and in-kind campaign contributions to a group that supports Proposition 8, has now made a substantial part of its activities attempting to influence legislation.

You can help! Send the IRS an official complaint about the LDS Church’s activities, either by email, fax or US Mail.

1. Prepare a copy of the Official LDS Prop. 8 Letter read in all LDS churches in California on 29 June 2008.
2. Prepare one or more other articles of your choice (you can use these links, or do your own research) showing the LDS Church’s substantial activities attempting to influence this legislation.
3. Prepare this Pre-Filled IRS Form 13909 and add your personal information, or fill out a Blank IRS Form 13909 from scratch with the information in the pre-filled form (these links and an alternative filled form are copied below in RESOURCES.)
4. Don’t forget to date your referral at the top and include your submitter information. If you are a member of the Church, you may wish to check the box marked “I am concerned that I might face retaliation or retribution if my identity is disclosed.”
5. Send it to the IRS, either by:
   * Email: Prepare your documents as PDF’s or web links, and send your complaint form with supporting documentation to eoclass@irs.gov.
   * Fax: fax your documents to (214) 413-5415
   * Mail: mail your documents to
   IRS EO Classification
   Mail Code 4910DAL
   1100 Commerce Street
   Dallas TX 75242-1198

RESOURCES:
Official IRS Complaint Process for Tax-Exempt Organizations
US Code Title 26, Section 501
Official LDS Prop. 8 Letter
List of LDS Entities (Source of Tax ID Number)

Information required for IRS Form 13909:
Name of Referred Organization: The Corporation of the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Street Address: 50 E. North Temple St., Salt Lake City UT 84150
Organization’s EIN: 23-7300405
For Section 4, see the Pre-Filled IRS Form 13909, or write your concerns in your own words. If your reader will not open that form, try the Alternative Pre-Filled 13909.

Thanks to a formerly faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (”the Church”) for the update to this for us to take action.

Gays and Lesbians will now know that they can’t just go around thinking that a minority will care about the GLBT cause.  The “minorities” will look out for their selfish religious beliefs first.  It was sad to see so many blacks voting for Proposition 8 as if they forgot what being discriminated against was like and as if they forgot what it felt to be on this side of the fence.

Ellen Degeneres said on her blog today that:

This morning, when it was clear that Proposition 8 had passed in California, I can’t explain the feeling I had. I was saddened beyond belief. Here we just had a giant step toward equality and then on the very next day, we took a giant step away.

I believe one day a “ban on gay marriage” will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us.

We can hope that a Democratic controlled congress and senate and president will change things for gay rights but I have my doubts.  They want to get re-elected in 2-4 years and how can they if they dare approve of such a thing as gay marriage, hate crime legislation, and putting more money into a real hiv cure.

GLBT lost a lot this election even worse off than we were 2 years ago.  Sally Kerns in Oklahoma got re-elected – you know the lady who calls Gays Terrorists.  Keith Olbermann has not made her a Worst Person in the World for some reason I sure wish he would.  This lady is the witch of witches.  I have a friend in her district of 86 in OKC and he could not believe she won again.

There was also Andrew Rice out of Oklahoma who got beat out.  Then there was Florida who voted to put more discrimination against gays in their constitution.  I could expect this attitude out of Arizona but why Florida and California.  How disappointing is that?

We can be proud of Massachetts who legalized marriage and pot but pretty much disguisted with the rest of the country right now!

Bottom Line:  We pay taxes just like everyone else.  Equal rights should be given to every tax-paying citizen.  Keep in mind these churches do not pay taxes but yet they seem to control every social issue in our government.

Cost cutting measures can make a big difference in your budget. If you do opt for your traditional holiday open house, dinner party or cocktail party, limit the drinks served. Alcohol is a huge expense when entertaining, especially if you fully stock a bar. Consider serving a spiced cider or a lovely cranberry based cocktail to all your guests to reduce your expenses. Old fashioned, non alcoholic holiday punches are another great idea and are typically much more affordable than alcoholic drinks. There are several good boxed wines on the market now that are significantly more economical, but still quite drinkable.  Less expensive cuts of meat or vegetarian meals are another way to reduce the expense of your traditional holiday party. You might also consider sharing costs and hosting responsibilities with a friend or family member if you have the same or similar guests lists.

One of the best ways to fit holiday entertaining into your budget is to rethink your party planning. Replace your cocktail party with a family tree trimming party. Invite everyone and their kids, serve cocoa and cookies and string popcorn and cranberries or sing holiday songs. You could also consider organizing a cookie swap to share baked goods with friends in lieu of the usual party, or even plan a party around a much anticipated holiday season ball game and serve sandwiches and snacks. Casual meals also offer the option of an old fashioned potluck. Let everyone bring a dish to share and relax.

More formal holiday activities can work without breaking the bank, as long as you step away from plans to throw large dinner or cocktail parties. Dessert parties are a great choice, allowing you to entertain for an evening with limited stress and without spending a lot. You can make dessert or splurge and buy a luxurious treat or two to share with friends or family. Serve coffee, a hot alcoholic beverage or a dessert wine, depending upon the treat you choose. Hosting a breakfast or brunch may also cut your costs and help you stay within budget. Consider throwing a wine tasting, asking each guest to bring their favorite to share. Serve a variety of fondues and dips. Fortunately, many of these money saving ideas can save valuable time during the holiday season as well.

TIP: Takes some notes from our Summer party ideas.

Throwing a Halloween Party?

We recommend Dry Ice arrangements to make a spooky fog or maybe a fog machine to make things more fun.  There are several games you can play such as where you say Halloween related phrases in a circle or your typical party games.  Why not a spin the bottle Halloween style?  Well, I guess an OUIJA board would serve that purpose a little better to be in the ghostly spirit.

Themed Parties

Think of a theme such as a 80’s, 90’s, or White Trash Theme.  This year with the presidential election you could come up with a theme party.  Dress up as Sarah Palin, Ellen, or even Hillary.  I always thought it would be fun to have a Party Monster party or even a Drag Queen party where every one has to dress as the opposite sex.

Christmas Parties

If you are throwing a serious Christmas extravaganza then consider some of these top ten gift ideas for your friends and relatives.  If for fun, then go for these gag gifts for the Secret Santa.

There are, of course, some famous ones: Pricilla Queen of the desert, To Wong Foo, thanks for everything Julie Newmar and The Birdcage, for example, though with that last one I would recommend the original La Cage aux folles. But what other gay movies are out there that you may not have heard about? That’s what I thought I would find out for you.

Have you heard of Law of Desire? This 1987 film from Spanish director Pedro Almodovar stars Antonio Banderas stalking the man of his dreams – and yes, there is a man-sex scene in there. Do you remember My beautiful laundrette, with Daniel Day Lewis? This caused quite a storm when it first came out thanks to the overt homosexuality and interracial relationships, particularly as Daniel plays a gay skinhead.

As we’re in Britain at the moment, what about Beautiful Thing? Directed by Hettie Macdonald and set in inner London this too caused quite a stir when it was released. It had enjoyed a good West End run as a play before transferring to the big screen and is something of a collectors’ item.

Ok, so there is a wealth of good, and not so good, gay indies out there to find – but where to find them is the next question. Try strandreleasing.com an online shop that has several genres, one of which is Gay and Lesbian. It’s interesting to note that many gay films deal with AIDS and you have to wonder if independent film makers would have found an audience for their gay films were it not for AIDS – it is the subject of many good indie films. (I know there were the likes of Midnight Cowboy before AIDS, but those films didn’t really have ‘gay’ as the central theme, or else they portrayed gay people as the bad guy or the comedy camp role, if at all.)

Zero Patience, directed by John Greyson stands out as one to find on line and buy. It looks at the alleged first man to bring AIDS to the USA and is by turns funny, dramatic and sad. There is also the fabulous Geoffrey, with Patrick Stuart in a camp role adding humor. This story is about a guy refusing to ever have sex again for fear of catching HIV. It too is a mix of funny and sad, with Mother Teresa playing the piano to top things off at the end.

Many of these indie films have come, originally, from plays but there are still many good plays waiting in the wings to be made into films. To find out what’s coming up in the world of gay independent films take a look at filmmovement.com where, among other things, you can find out about the 20th London Lesbian and Gay film festival. That was only one search result, festivals like this happen in Seattle, Paris, Tokyo and many other places. It’s just a question of how you search.

I have wondered what took so long with Madonna and Guy Ritchie breaking up. He was the main reason that Madonna and her brother supposedly quit talking and he never really got behind her music. He was too busy being jealous of Madonna’s accomplishments and not really doing anything for himself.

Let’s all hope that the pre-nuptial agreement was around before they got hitched. I am afraid from some of the news stories I have read that they may not have had a pre-nup which could really put a dent in Madonna’s worth. According to the Sun.co.uk who originally broke the story they said they were more worried about the kids than anything.

This news just so happens right in the middle of her Sticky and Sweet tour hitting Boston, MA. Madonna is scheduled to perform tonight at 8pm at the TD Banknorth Gardens. I will be attending the concert myself on Thursday and very excited to see her new show!!

Madonna has also been in the news this week for banning Sarah Palin from attending her concert and wearing high heels that look like a gun sparking controversy with some gun rights groups. Teens wear gun and knive logos on their shirts these days bought from Pac Sun and MetroPark and Madonna is doing nothing but stomping on the gun with her feet she is not pointing it at anyone. Although she did say she would beat up Sarah Palin… I hope someone will!!

David Grey, producer for the gay film company Village Film, recently made a short film entitled ‘Queer Fear – gay life, Gay death in Iraq.’ The movie charts the tragic stories of several Iraqi individuals who are gay; it is not an easy movie to watch. Since its release, it is said, the situation has not improved, and it may in fact have become worse for gay and lesbian people in Iraq.

The reality is that in today’s ‘liberated’ Iraq, being gay or lesbian has become a death sentence. (Just as it is for a woman to have sex outside of marriage.) Anyone who is deemed to be insufficiently devout and pure is at risk of assassination, particularly in areas such as Basra, a city that the British military have now abandoned. This is, in effect, sexual cleansing and the death squads are boasting that they have exterminated all “perverts and sodomites” in many of the country’s other main cities.

There is a covert gay rights movement in the country. We know this because several members of it have gone missing after documenting the abuse of rights and the killing of gay men and women, and getting the news to the outside world. Commentators believe that the situation in Iraq is now worse for lesbian, gay and transgender people than it was under the rule of Saddam Hussein.

But, in the true spirit of the free voice, Iraqi LGBT is bringing the news to the world at large and trying to make a difference. Their site, iraqilgbtuk.blogspot.com, based in the UK, is keeping a watch on international reportage while raising funds to help fight the cause. It was while browsing this site that I found more, yet similar, disturbing news:

“This morning, [25th September 2008, just after the Tatchell article was published] news came from Iraq that the coordinator of Iraqi LGBT in Baghdad, Bashar, aged 27, has been assassinated in a barber shop. Militias burst in and sprayed his body with bullets.”

What can the Iraqi people do about it? You may well ask. Sadly the answer is not a lot. Going to the police for protection is a non-starter as the police are infiltrated by fundamentalists, especially in the Badr militia. Pro-fundamentalist ministers in the Government are turning a blind eye to the killings and, if one’s government will not help, who else is there? There are organizations like Iraqi LGBT, doing what they can from a distance, and individuals too can add their voice and their views. Outrage, the direct action group formed in the UK to fight what they see as violations of human rights in the GLBT community, also accept donations and provide help to Iraq GLBT. And the media around the world is slowly picking up on the subject, I am thinking of recent articles in Newsweek and the UK gay paper, the Pink Paper, in particular here.

Your own views are your own of course and not everyone will read the above from the same viewpoint as those who report it. But the clear message is that, in this part of the world, a battle rages between the religion and rights, a battle that will going on for many years and may never end. Which means the killing of fellow LGBT people will never stop either. Unless those of us lucky enough to be born elsewhere try to make a difference.

NOTES:

Queer Fear,  the mentioned movie is available to stream at http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uB7TcPGXlHY

‘Hazings’ are also known as ‘initiations’ – things that one group of people will do to another person in order for that person to be allowed to join a group, gang or even a Fraternity. The word derives from a 17th century Scottish word meaning to frighten, scold or beat cattle while driving them, and from the French Haser, to tease or insult.

No surprises then that Hazings have received some bad press as many initiation ceremonies go further than just simple teasing, and include harassment, humiliation and even physical abuse. You may have seen movies such as The Skulls (2000) which took entry into a college fraternity as its theme – the guys there started out with fun and adventurous rituals to perform, such as stealing the weathervane from a tower. But these soon started to turn nasty and dangerous, both physically and emotionally, for the characters. And that’s the warning.

Hazing has been a popular activity in school and sports institutions for many years, especially among the male of our species. I can remember innocent things which we now call hazing; having to carry someone’s bags, or being dared to do something only slightly mischievous like make a face at a teacher behind his back. Now though these things are becoming increasingly more brutal and institutions and individuals are finding themselves in court over what they have allowed to happen. Here is an example from nola.com, dated May 2008: “Five members of a Tulane University fraternity were arrested Tuesday and five others are being sought on felony battery charges in an alleged hazing incident in which two pledges received second- and third-degree burns from boiling water and crab-boil being poured on their bodies.”

But not all hazings involve such extreme measures and there can be a lot of pleasure to be gained from viewing home videos (on the Tube sites for example) and realty movies on some adult sites – particularly as hazing is fast becoming a fetish genre in the adult industry.

Here’s an example: I searched out collegehazing.com a site dedicated to the practice of sexual humiliation among new guys at college. Images here ranged from guys who were simply ‘mooning’ (showing off their asses) to being bound and stripped. Having to flash one’s dick to the general public is a fairly common and innocuous activity, but licking someone’s ass in order to be accepted in to a football team may leave a nasty taste in the mouth, particularly if you’re a straight guy. Many of these initiations happen during parties, or certainly when there is alcohol around and it is not uncommon to see guys who are unconscious through too much drink being stripped, and even masturbated, while the others look on and the cameras click away.

So is it always a homoerotic pastime I ask myself? Is there always a sexual side to hazing? No, not always but it does seem that even the straightest of football players will stand by and watch as another guy gets naked. It may build team spirit and help the guys to bond but how far will they go to be in a team? Cyd Zeigler Jr., on outsports.com points out: Many of the acts that younger players are submitted to are also homoerotic or homosexual. Licking each other’s bodies, simulating sex acts, forced sodomy with various objects – these acts work on two levels. First, they reinforce the notion that same-sex affection is weaker; the subjected men are rarely “hazed” with forced affection from someone of the opposite sex. Second, they serve to satisfy the latent homosexuality of many of the players involved.

So hazing, in these all male situations, is about domination, both of the body and the mind. It can be seen on various levels: fun, when innocuous; sexual, when nudity, simulated and even actual sex is involved; and powerful as, at the end of the day, the group, the herd, tribe, sports team or gang is the thing that holds the power to accept or reject the person fighting for the right to join them. The trouble is, in the wrong hands or when out of control it can simply go too far.