As Paris Hilton would say that it is time to TTYN well that does not mean come back and text 5 min later because there is a major difference in TTYN and TTYL. Coming from a Facebook discussion earlier one of the former boyfriends said “This is getting really bad, and I’m actually kinda getting scared. My ex bf is becoming threatening , and threatening other people. He’s already yelled at other guys just for talking to me. and now he’s threatening me. I’m getting scared about him, what do I do?”
A few replies:
1. Or you can be Southernly Sweet with him like, “Honey pot, look here now, you needa quit ackin like you crazy b4 people startin to think you’s crazy and quit threatenenin all my friends now ya here or you gon make me does somethin that ain’t right pretty here in the Eyes of God now. So go on, child. Move on b4 yo ass get a dent in the back of yo head the size of this hear cast iron skillet.”
2. It’s Like Reading A Good Book’ But Doesn’t Look Like It Going To Be A Happy ending’ Eather way ‘ But I Like A good Story line’ Oh Well any how keep a eye on him’ he sound’s like a stalker to me’
Basically he told him he needs to stop, or I he get a restraining order
The best advice was to be calm about things and do not talk down to him. You may also want to keep copies of everything he’s ever sent you or your friends. You can use it as evidence in court. If you ever feel scared like he’s really going to do something just call the police.

Dating and hook-up sites have been around for a while now and there are loads of them to choose from when you want to join an online community and maybe find that special person. I have to admit that I’d never heard of Zoosk (just their Facebook ads) before and so I thought I would give it a trial run. I started with the first basic page and followed the procedure for joining; and I thought you might be interested to know how it all works.

Its one of those sites where you need to register before you can do anything, but it took all of one minute to do this and cost me nothing. Enter a valid email address and make up a password, you get a validation email sent to you straight away, you click that, you go back to a new page and enter the two words, by way of a further anti-spam/hack measure, and there you go, you’re in.

So, step one was simple and fast. Step two was slightly more involved and here is where it is important to remember the number one rule of joining a dating/hook-up site: be honest. There is no point in putting you details down in such a way that you appear to be some kind of Greek good, or goddess, when you’re not – it will only lead to disappointment later. The first page of details is a simple one with the basics like your name, the name you want to be known by, your age and basic stats, and the ‘match’ you are looking for – this is a site for gay, straight, and bi folk, all sexualities are welcome. Some fields are required here, you have to fill them out, others are not and you can even skip the page if you want to. I won ‘two Zoosk Coins; for logging in, but as I’d not seen any other details about the site yet I had no idea what that meant.

Now you run through the other parts of the setting up process, your location, more about you, you can download a chat player for later use, you can upload photos, put down what your likes and dislikes are, tell your story and put in some answers to the ‘ice breakers’ questions, to give some more background., All this goes on your ‘date card.’

So far the process had been easy and simple and you can miss it all out if you simply want to explore the site. Finally getting round to the home page (I did have to set my location before I could do that), I had a search option already set for me, but I could change it, there was news on recent community posts, and some boxes showing me my profile status. There wasn’t much else here as the location I had chosen was obviously a quiet one, there were no local events posted, but had I been in, say, London there may have been loads. But I tried the search, to see if there was anyone else registered within 30 kilometres of where I lived. There were! (Exclamation mark because I am very remote.)

And what was nice here was that Zoosk works like a cross between a standard dating site and something like Facebook – I could send winks, and gifts, chat privately and send private emails. There are also various other ways to search, you’ve got a private email box, plenty of help and even safety tips for blind dating, you can report profiles and abuse, and there is a forum.

It’s all rather new here but obviously growing fast due to the free sign up – I wondered how they made their money, and then noticed that you can upgrade for premium services, have more activity and get further involved, but the prices were very reasonable.

But what I liked most about Zoosk, compared to other dating sites, is that it was well designed, easy to use and fast, and I found members who fitted my ‘match’ locally, and, considering where I live, that really is saying something.

Once you think you know someone you never do until you spend more time with them than the presentation they give out a bar, office, or social outing for the few minutes you may see them,. You may base your trust on someone you know for years but have you spent an entire weekend with them or even a few months living together as roomates. With some people their true colors do not come out until you have spent hour after hours together to really tell how their seasons and personalities change and how dangerous that person could be.

I knew this boy from the club for years and always thought he was one of the hottest guys out and probably was. His eyes blue and breathtaking and his smile, skin, and energy were always something that could pull a spell on anyone. Much less the fact that he is tall and gorgeous. seeing him out everyone must think I would like to get with him someday.

Unfortunately, that day came.. It was a miserable weekend of non-stop hell and yes now I know the meaning of what hell is and what the devil sounds like. The first night out at the club he started going off on my friend after a couple of drinks and telling him he had a receeding hairline among other rude things to him that were just uncalled for and plain mean. My friend was so drunk he did not respond the way most would have wo may have punched him in the face or walked away and gotten away from the crazy at hand.

The second episode was when we were standing by the back bar of the club and near the bathroom. This guy I know drags me in the bathroom to talk to me about something and this kid I brought out gets into a spat with him on the way into the bathroom to where he comes in the bathroom telling us to get out all loudly. Ok, so can a person not talk quietly in a bathroom for once?

Next day he was normal laying on the couch cuddling watching TV and being normal. We went to eat Mexican food and did not even have a drink just drank Tea. Went home relaxed and then later got ready to go out to the club again. This time he meet some guy that produced music or something and he kept hitting on him or talking to him for over an hour holding us in a spot forever. When we finally got away from all the useless talk (this guy was obviously hitting on him and kept grabbing at him but using business talk to excite him) we were able to go dance for a bit. Then we decided to hit up another club with more of a circuit beat. We headed here where the cover was $20 each. Yes I paid it all. Thought he would get in a better mood but after all his intakes of alcohol and whatever else he must have done with people while he was in the bathroom so long his mood went totally extreme and bipolar could not even describe it. He went up to the bar ordered a drink and expected me to pay. I said I thought you had some money.. He said no quit embarassing me and pay now and to never embarrass him again. I said OK and paid just to stop the scene.

He then tried to lay me down for embarrassing him by not paying for a drink readily after I already paid his cover to two bars, bought dinner, among other things. Maybe he didn’t really need that drink after all because we know after what happens next he certainly could not handle it. Next he goes out to the car with the police in the parking lot causing a scene saying that he wants to go home now. I was not about to leave with all the police in the parking lot and wanted to dance off my buzz. I am all about dancing before trying to drink. So I left him in the car shortly after he threatened me and said I did not know who he was and that his people would come after me, he then threatened to hit me and that is when I ran inside the club. Of course, you can’t call the police or anything when you both been drinking you will both goto jail for public detox or something. Plus I felt sorry for him and still do so its really hard to say no to him or even send him his way all alone with no one really to help him. He was too much for me to help though way too much above my pay grade in terms of mental patients. I have dealt with many people who desperately need anti-depressants and many people who desperately do not need any meds. I have dealt with a woman who tried to kill herself and then she ended up doing it in her garage another day even though we stopped her the first time. I have woken up with people trying to overdose on ambiens. But his force and threat level that he goes to in a 180 degree shift is really scary. How he can be so normal, smart, and nice, and beautiful one minute then give him an hour and its like the Devil came out.

So I still was not able to get him out of my car and he stayed with me another night which went ok during the day we watched TV all day and relaxed. Ate pizza and once again he seemed so normal. Then 10’0clock rolls around and we get ready for the club have a cocktail and things still normal. Then make it out to the club he starts wanting a drink every few min and going in the bathroom again. By the time we all walk out to the car he is fighting with my friend out in the parking lot and this even brings about a huge dent in my car that my cost thousands to repair which he cars nothing about. Tried to call him a cab to his house but he would not answer us about where to have the cab go. He said his phone was in my car and it was not. He must have lost it in the club. He said he would call the police because his phone was in my car. So I then took him to my friends house and his neighbor called him a cab.. the same thing I was hoping to do. This is after he started moving towards me in a violent matter threatening me again with loud devil sounds and fists. I ran out of my car scared of him at this point but then he finally got out but he was chasing after my friend going off on him. I ran to the car started it and went around the block to have my friend meet me to give him his stuff so I could get away from him. I was about to lose it. I had never seen anything like it.

I guess it just comes down to the fact that if you sense someone is off their rocker or could become a bipolar tragedy stay far away. This is hard to say because I know many of these types in the gay community. Especially see this a lot in the Dallas clubs and parties. I hope it is not a gay gene or something. It is really scary how many act this way but this kid was the worst I have ever seen and it scares me. Its almost like they imagine things or have dementia but yet finally get their sense back and remember it all when they are sober.

It is hard to really know if someone is completely like this though until you do spend some time with them and when you do it might be too late. It was too late on my date because I could not get him off my hands and I tried and tried to call him a cab or take him where he needed to go. I cannot afford to have that kind of liability around me and neither can a nightclub or any business.

I would like to know how to handle people like this the next time because it seemed everything failed that I tried to do. One minute this guy seems so A-list and fabulous and then the next minute hes like Austin on NYC A-List who seems kind of loose cannon but this kid is much worse. If there is help for these people let me know. I am not sure its the drinking, or his prescription pills it may be other issues.

“When tearing off a round of golf, a may make a play for the caddie. But if I do, I don’t follow through, ‘cos my heart belongs to Daddy.’ (Apologies to Cole if I’ve remembered the lyrics incorrectly.)

So, how do you find a sugar daddy? How does a younger guy meet up with an older one and get himself enfolded into the arms of someone who is rich and willing to share that wealth? I’ll tell you one thing: if I knew I wouldn’t be here!

Only joking. But it’s an interesting question. In fact someone should write a book about it. But to do that you will need to know the answer. Well, here are a few things I found that may well help you a) find your own sugardaddy or b) make some money out of writing a ‘How To’ book about it all.

A simple web search brought a few interesting starting points. First of all came gayarrangement.com which seems to be the answer to all our prayers. Here is a site where you are actually encouraged to cut to the chase and hook up; that’s older, successful guys (and girls actually) who are looking for younger men and vice versa. Perfect. How does it work? Actually it works like any other dating and hook up site. You can sign up for free and get to access some basic functions and features: Set up a profile, add pictures, basic search, send and receive winks, receive unlimited emails – but you can only send one per day so don’t be greedy! And there are a few other functions too. With a full membership you get much more, but I couldn’t for the life of me find out how much that cost. You have to sign up for the free registration first and then upgrade. There’s a simple search engine to fill out so you can see before you buy what your chances of finding Mr. Right-to-the-bank are.

So that’s one site that is dedicated to fitting up younger guys and girls with richer older ones.

The second one I found was sugardaddyforme.com. This is a mixed site in that it is for gay and straight folk alike. I found it a bit frustrating as you couldn’t do anything until you had registered, not even a basic search. But once again it’s free to register and then you can go for a silver package or a gold one and both have two levels; one where only other members can contact you and one where anyone can. The top price here is $39.90 a month, and the bottom price is $19.95 a month, so even a sugar baby is going to have to have some pennies in his/her pocket to get really involved.

And then came some others (thanks to a Questions and Answers site) with the likes of: eekingarrangement.com/gaysugardaddy which again is mainly aimed at guys seeking guys and girls seeking girls, so much more up our street. Here I was able to run a basic search, see photos and basic details and then go and register, for free with the usual upgrades available. Check out sugardaddies.com to find a link to a gay specific hook up site, Date Gay Millionaire, and you’ll be up and running very quickly, once you’ve logged in.

So, these days it seems you can simply search the net, fill out a form, part with a little cash… sorry investment, and then hook up with older or younger guys, rich or poor and start preparing yourself for all the fun and frolics that come with being a sugardaddy or a sugar baby.

Alternatively you could wheedle your way into a Casino, hang around the tables, look gorgeous, be prepared to do anything bordering on actually becoming an escort or rent boy, and find an older, richer male that way. I suspect it’s much easier for older guys to find younger ones, simply flash the cash in any bar or club. But watch out; doing it that way is unlikely to lead you to genuine guys – much safer is to use one of the established sites mentioned above, follow their guidelines and meet genuinely interested parties.

Whether you are newly post break up or have decided that you are ready for more than a hook up in your local bar, more and more people are opting to try online dating to meet that perfect or almost perfect mate. There are a lot of online personals and social networking options, some with fees and others that are free. They do break down into a few fairly simple categories.

Social networking sites are free and can be a good way to meet other GLBTQ folks in your area. Myspace, Facebook, and Glee.com are all options in terms of this sort of social networking. You can take advantage of these sites to meet people in your area, find out about interesting happenings and more. Do consider making sure your profile honestly reflects who you are, and make it more than just a personal ad. You may also want to consider privacy settings, depending upon whether or not your employer is aware of your sexuality.

The next option many people consider is a free dating site. These allow you to set up a simple profile; however, some sites do charge you to contact people with more than a wink, nod, or flirt. You may find that free accounts on paid sites are not terribly useful because of this. Some sites are entirely free; however, offer limited screening or matching tools. Freedating-sites.com/gay.html offers a list of a few free dating sites as well as noting some of the big names in commercial online dating sites that welcome GLBTQ members. OKCupid.com is free and inclusive of all sexualities. You might also find your local craigslist to be an option, but do keep in mind personal safety if you choose this path.

If you are serious about online dating, whether you are looking for a great night out or a real relationship, you may find it more helpful to consider paying for a subscription to one of the big names in online dating sites. Gay.com is a great choice for guys looking to meet someone. True.com is a welcoming and inclusive site that is a good choice for men or women. Another one of the big names in online dating is chemistry.com. You may want to note that neither of these sites is trans-friendly. Yahoo’s personals also welcome gay and lesbian individuals and can be a good way to meet other single people in your area.

There are a few things to keep in mind when trying out the online meet and greet. Be honest about yourself in your profile. You do not need to disclose that you got fired last year, really don’t like your Aunt Judy, or have a sixth toe on your right foot; however, you should be open about relationship status, what you are looking for in a partner and other important issues. Be sure to take the time to email back and forth with a potential date and always meet in a safe public location the first time.

That big day is coming up and it is not a wedding. It is that day you wear red and pretend you are in a relationship. Valentine’s Day is one of the grandest days when it comes to finding a good excuse to take someone out for a romantic dinner… but you need that lover first.

You’ll know when it’s time to start seriously looking for a partner, but maybe you don’t know where to go? If you live in a city, a cosmopolitan area or town then you’ll probably have access to clubs, bars and social groups to join; you could try gay speed dating or the small ads in your local or national gay paper. For certain people, in certain areas of the world, finding a partner is made easy.

But what if you don’t live in one of these places, what if you don’t like bars and clubs and what if… well, all kinds of ‘what ifs’ can be barriers to finding that perfect match.

In these cases you turn to on-line dating and partner finding. The only problem here is deciding which site to choose? There are loads of them out there but they do tend to fall into three camps: 1) What I call Hook Up sites where guys (and this also applies equally to women) are simply looking for sex, often via a shared niche or fetish. That’s another topic so we’ll pass it by for now. 2) Sites that are for folk who are seriously looking for a relationship only, perhaps staring with finding a friend first and seeing what develops. And 3) sites (such as gaydar.com) which combine the two elements of casual sex and partner finding, depending on how you write up your profile.

Back pedal to type number two: A site where you can join and search out your perfect partner. This is searching for a LTR instead of that one night stand. One site stood out called mypartner.com which is very different from the ones in camp one and three, above. It has a page explaining the system that it uses for matching you with ‘him’, it is basically a matchmaking service using a unique ‘dating experience’ cross-referencing system. It also offers two levels of service; an on-line dating one and a private one. The first you do yourself and the second they do for you.

The tour of the site takes you through the five step process as you decide what you want from your future, you learn more about yourself and ‘him’, the search starts and then you take it to the next level, the communication level, and see where things lead from there.

Start with the free trial by creating a username and entering some information; name, date of birth etc. Next you are asked for your country and, although the site seems to lean towards the USA, every country in the world is listed. This page gets you started with the age and location of your perfect partner and, after clicking ‘next’ an email is sent directly to you. This is a handy list of how everything works and a link to login (as soon as your account is activated.) The basic rules of dating sites apply: be honest is the most important one – no point saying you’re young and slim and in the USA if you’re not! Be safe too – arrange meetings in public places; only give out your phone number if you are sure of someone and so on. And, from here on in, it is up to you.

I can’t say how successful this site is compared to the many others that are out there but I can say that this is a very simple one to use, it looks good and you get good help and support if you have any problems using it. They take your searching and date finding seriously and you should too. If you want some casual sex then look around for Hook Up sites but if you really want to try a new way to find Mr Right, then MyPartner.com looks set to put you on the right road.

This relationship oriented site has also recently added Lesbian Matchmaking to its offerings.

Yes, we all know it’s a Hallmark holiday, but nonetheless you can reasonably assume you will be in trouble if you do not show up on Valentine’s Day with a meaningful and thoughtful gift. It might also be smart to remember that, by and large, thoughtful gifts are not bought at the grocery store on your way home or off to see your significant other. The right present for your partner is one that they will love, and one that will show your love for them. This might be as lavish as a vacation together or expensive watch or jewelry or as meaningful yet inexpensive as a love letter or poem. Know your budget and your girlfriend or boyfriend’s preferences to choose a gift that your lover will cherish, whether it is expensive or not.

Sometimes nothing other than an expensive gift will do. A meaningful piece of jewelry or an inscribed watch may be the right present for the special person in your life. If you were pondering popping the big question, perhaps you are engagement ring shopping this year. There is something to be said for a gift that your partner can wear each day as a tangible reminder of your love.

Time together is another option when you are planning your romantic holiday together. In today’s busy world, spending time together can be one of the best gifts you can give your partner. Whether you plan a vacation together or simply a night out, taking time out of your lives to devote to one another is both a great option for romance and relationship building. Planning a day together doing something your partner loves, whether it’s a ball game or an outing to the art museum is sure to be a much treasured memory of Valentine’s Day 2008.

Some of the best romantic gifts are the ones that cost next to nothing. Write your partner a love letter, make a mix CD or play list with songs that matter to the two of you, or if you are creatively inclined, write a song or poem for your partner. While gifts from the heart may seem a bit cliche, they can be the most meaningful in any relationship. Even if you plan a day out or give an expensive gift, adding something handmade and from the heart can make this the best Valentine’s Day of your relationship.

Traditionally, flowers and Valentine Roses(possibly organic) present a sweet gift but then again there is always more room for something more romantic or something more creative.

What do you want your partner to get you on Valentines Day? A Romantic, Candle-Lit Date?

Aging is a fact of life, but aging in the LGBTQ community, especially when your single may be another matter entirely. While there are certainly serious concerns to worry about, dating and socializing can be more of one than most of us care to admit. In many areas, especially if you don’t live in the big city, gay life revolves around that beloved institution, the gay bar. While this might have worked great when you were young and didn’t really care if you showed up at work hungover the next day, it’s a bit less appropriate when you have a mortgage, aging parents, and two dogs who really don’t like to be left home alone most of the night. While many people pair off as they get older and meet that Mr. Right, maybe you’re newly out of the closet, newly broken up, or just haven’t been that lucky yet. How can you maintain a social life, have fun and still make it to work in the morning?

If you have been single all along, you can probably stop reading right now. You likely have the social life you want, simply because it’s never been significantly changed in one way or the other and has evolved to meet your interests and lifestyle. There is nothing at all wrong with being happily single and living a full life on your own.

More of us, however, are single due to being either newly out or newly broken up. While you might have meandered into your local gay bar and found yourself either ignored or fresh meat, depending on your community, perhaps this is not what you’re looking for at all. You can meet people, find friends and develop relationships within the gay and lesbian community without setting foot in a drag show, drinking shots out of test tubes or otherwise potentially embarrassing yourself in a drunken stupor.

What can you do? Even in smaller cities, you do have many options to meet people outside of the bar subculture. First, become involved in things you love that matter. It does not matter if that is the local animal shelter or the local arts scene. Consider volunteering your time with gay, lesbian and other queer causes. Many of those who volunteer are in a place in their lives that is also incompatible with weekends drinking in the bars. Be open and honest about who you are, whenever you feel safe and comfortable doing so. You might be surprised who you can meet. Moreover, making the most of your life and your time will make for a happy and full life, whether you are alone or not. Once you feel comfortable in your own skin and your own life, if you want to actively pursue finding a relationship, consider on line dating options, social networking sites, and even just putting the word out to friends that you’re looking. Many great relationships have been made by matchmaking friends.

Every relationship, gay or straight, hits rough times. Unfortunately, many of the relationship resources out there, including workshops, counseling and self help books are geared toward heterosexual couples. While some of the ideas and information is relevant to any couple, the stresses and concerns of GLBTQ couples can be somewhat different. How can you find a counselor to help with your relationship struggles? Are there books out there that you can actually read without ignoring much of the irrelevant information and which address the specific stressors and concerns of a queer relationship? Making things a bit harder is the lack of research into gay and lesbian relationships. For an overview of what is known about communication styles in gay and lesbian relationships, see this article at Time Magazine.

Many people read self help books now and again, and some of the most popular concern relationships. Keeping a long term relationship happy, passionate and loving can be a challenge regardless of the gender of your partner. Fortunately, there are a number of books on the market specifically dedicated to gay and lesbian relationships. Consider taking a look at Mackey, O’Brien, and Mackey’s Gay and Lesbian Couples: Voices from Lasting Relationships, Betty Berzon’s Permanent Partners: Building Gay and Lesbian Relationships that Last, and Tina Tessina’s Gay Relationships as a starting point if you have concerns or questions about your relationship. You may also find it helpful to read resources intended for straight couples, including the well regarded The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Do keep in mind that some of the information in resources aimed at heterosexual couples may not be useful to you, and that research does show that gay and lesbian couples often communicate quite differently due to the lack of gender roles typically present.

Some of the time our relationships do need more help than old fashioned open communication and self help books can offer. Consider relationship counseling if you and your partner are struggling. If you are part of an inclusive faith community, you may find that pastoral counseling or even relationship workshops are an option for you and your partner. If this is not an option for you, your local gay and lesbian center may be the best starting point when looking for relationship help. Mental health referrals, including those for relationship counseling, are commonplace at gay and lesbian resource centers and you can be sure that your counselor is comfortable and experienced in assisting with the issues specific to GLBTQ couples.

The same basics are true for any relationship. In order to have a healthy relationship with your partner, you need love, passion, and open communication. You also need shared interests, goals, hopes and dreams. With these in place, many of the minor challenges and struggles can be overcome to allow you and your partner to share many happy years together.

We spoke a few weeks ago about a few changes we thought were needed with gay.com network and some magazines such as XY.  We noticed that Gay.com has been advertising they are doing something big in the next few weeks and we are eager to see if and how their network will improve.  Hopefully, they have integrated some easier chatting that takes up less computer memory and space on our monitors.  Their current chat was annoying and it was hard to discretely do any socializing on gay.com from work which is where most online activity takes place.

Gay.com has so much potential to be a good place to chat and hook up and could keep us from having to log into adam4adam, manhunt, dlist, romeo, myspace, facebook, craigslist, and all the other social networking and gay and lesbian hookup sites.  Let this be the change that is needed!!

You will not be able to log into your chat today or check on personals or even view the site while they are upgrading the system.  Although, they claim they will be back shortly there is no real time of when they will return.  This could leave lots of lonely gays and lesbians stranded on a Sunday with nothing to do =)

Dear GAY.COM, PlanetOut.com, and PlanetOutInc.com visitors,

We have a brand new gay.com coming this fall! We’re upgrading chat, adding new features and giving everything a sleek new look.

In order to get there, we’re busy performing a system upgrade right now. We expect to be online shortly. Please check back soon!

In the meantime please visit mr gay.com 2008 and our blogs: Gay TV Blog, Gay Sports Blog, and Behind the WebSite: The GAY.COM Blog.

Premium members: If you have any questions or need to reach our customer care team during this time, please email us at premiumservices@gay.com.

Thanks and we look forward to bringing you a new GAY.COM very soon!

Your friends at GAY.COM, PlanetOut.com and PlanetOutInc.com

Gay Romeo is a meeting place that is run by and run for Gay guys. You may be thinking that there are enough of these kinds of sites out there already so what is different about this one? Well, to start with they offer you quite a lot of functions for free. Some other dating sites only let you register a basic profile for free and then ask for a sign up fee before you can see the kind of content you actually want to see.

When you start the registration process at GayRomeo.com you actually get four options. You can register as a user (I’ll come back to that in a moment) or you can register as a club. Doing that will let you set up a different kind of profile and create your own on-line community; a great way to find other folk with the same interests as you. If you are a business you can register to be in the guide and if you are an escort you can also set up a professional profile and, as far as I could see, all of these options were free.

I tried out the basic, personal registration process and found it quite a long one. There are certain things you have to fill out before you can proceed but the site will tell you if anything is missing. It’s always best to be thorough with these things anyway as you only want to attract the right guys. There’s no point saying you are hung like a horse and have the body of a porn star if you don’t – you’ll only disappoint people and get a bad name. Also, take a moment to work out your ‘handle’ or profile name. Things like S2***drt7 are not only hard to remember but meaningless.

Once you get your log in details and your registration is confirmed you can start to upload images. The users console in quite neat and easy to use but there are lots of different options to experiment with. Across the top you have links to shops, the info zone where there is all kinds of useful info including tips on how to design your profile and safe sex information too. There are really friendly help and support pages plus the ‘about’ page where you are introduced to the team behind the site. Then you come to the users search engine and I guess this is where you’ll want to start. There are seven kinds of search already picked out for you and these include your area under their headings, so for example you can see who in your area has images, you can find recently registered users from your area and so on. Of course you can search for other locations too and even by name, age and the usual dating site options apply here.

At the bottom of your screen the options continue and you can check messages, view clubs, change your profile and update any number of settings to aid your viewing. It looks like Gay Romeo has thought of just about everything and, when you register, you really do get the feeling that you are joining something special. The design is cool with neat images and clear text and you can even instantly change the language of the site into one of six European languages.

I have seen quite a few of what I call dating sites recently and they each have their own style of presentation but, so far, Gay Romeo is my favorite for Europe. There really is too much on it to tell you about here so I can only suggest you pop over and have a look. It’s free to register and use so you’ve got nothing to lose. It’s new and fresh and offers a good hook-up, chat and general on-line community for you to become a part of.

Not that many years ago it would have been an unheard of thing to write or read: ‘Gay Marriages’ but I do have friends who have been married for over twenty five years so it has been possible (the maybe not legal) in certain countries for over a quarter of a century, which may surprise you.

These days you’ll find marriage between two people of the same sex called many things: Same Sex Partnerships, Civil Unions, and Equal Marriages. Whatever terms are used it is the same thing. Two people in a loving relationship formalise that relationship legally and publicly. And of course in recent years, as equality has become more of a mainstream issue, so has gay marriage and it has not been without controversy. You will probably have read the battles in the papers between the Church and activists, politicians on one side against ones on the other and so on but the fact remains that gay marriages are now legal in at least seven countries including: Demark (the first to allow them in 1989), The Netherlands, Belgium, Canada, South Africa and a couple of US states. But other countries also recognise Civil Unions now, opting to allow a union rather than a marriage for whatever reason. There are some surprising countries on this list including Colombia, Israel and the United Kingdom. Some of the more Roman Catholic countries like Brazil and Argentina allow it in certain places only.

There are arguments for and against the allowing of Civil Unions or gay marriages or call them what you will. Activists for argue that it is a civil right for a couple of people to be equal in the eyes of the government of their country and to be able to have the same tax and other benefits as opposite sex couples. The arguments go on and go deeper of course but gay folk contribute just as much to their country in terms of taxes and so on so why should they be treated any differently?

Opponents of gay marriages counter this by arguing that the allowing of gay marriages reduces the status of ‘marriage’ generally to little more than a test of social or welfare benefits. There are some as well who simply think that same sex relationships are wrong because they do not produce children and that’s enough for them.

I couldn’t even start to examine the religious opposition here but needless to say many religions oppose same sex marriages for many reasons. The main one (as far as I can make out from the Christian church at least) is that it is against Biblical teaching and various chapters of the Bible are quoted, including Genesis and Leviticus. But these are also countered by activists as being out of date references to things which are not relevant to today’s society. And so the row rumbles on and drags into it children, tradition, divorce and equality.

I was trying to find a lighter side to this subject but without success, even looking for the count of how many gay marriages had taken place since 1989 was nigh on impossible. The subject is a serious one and one that will not be going away anytime soon. And if you were wondering, my two friends were married in San Francisco in 1979!

And as an after thought, here is a fun thing I found when searching the web:

http://www.cafepress.com/buy/gay+marriage Café Press have a variety of logos and labels you have put on T Shirts and caps etc. Including, for girls, ‘I love my wife’ and ‘Adam and Steve not Adam and Eve’.

I’ve looked at a few personals sites in my time and even joined some and let’s face it there are plenty of them out three these days to join. If you are looking for a new partner or just for some on-line chat then these sites are a good and safe place to start. Of course when it comes to actually meeting someone in the flesh you should always be careful and a good personals site will give you guidelines on the safest way to meet a stranger. After all, that is what you are doing and, even though you could chat to someone for weeks and even exchange pictures, you never really know they are who they say they are until you meet face to face.
O.k., warning over with, what are the most popular lesbian personals sites out there at the moment? After a quick search I came up with four alternatives for you:

lesbianpersonals.com

Lesbian Personals claims to have over 3,750,000 members and when you click to the home page you’ll be told how many of these members are in your country. There is a tour you can take which will tell you what to expect, or you can browse the membership by country and USA state. Again it is easy and free to create a basic profile but there is a fee for premium use. The site also has a magazine and chat room associated with it.

lesbianpersonalsonline.com

With its simple, white and purple design this site is nice and easy to use and look at. You can explore it by running a quick search to see if there is anyone near you already registered. Select the state, if in the USA, or country, the persons age, what they/you are looking for and away you go. The site caters for bisexual as well as lesbian women and you can opt to see face pics or not. You can also see who is on line and read the short profile that each girl has put up. I found this site really quick to search and load results and there were over 250 members on line when I was there. You can create a basic membership for free and there is a non-recurring fee for a premium membership.

thepinksofa.com

The Pink Sofa claims to be the world’s biggest lesbian meeting place and how are we to know any different? There were 463 members on line with 17 chatting when I was there. You can carry out a search by country to see if there is anyone here you’re going to want to meet and you also get access to the forum and classified adverts. There is a travel section so you can see who’s traveling in your area, a business directory and a message board. This site seems to have more extras than the others and looks like a more interactive personals site. You have three free days and then there is a monthly charge of $20 which reduces if you buy in for a longer period of time.

lesbotronic.com

Finally Lesbotronic. This site had a completely different feel to it from the others; it was darker and more jazzy in its design. The page to create your profile was huge and very detailed and thats because the site matches you with your perfect partner for you. There is also a detailed help and information page to check out if you’re not sure that this is the place for you.

With any dating or personals site it’s best to be honest, to fill out as much information about yourself as possible and, if uploading pictures, put recent ones. There’s no point in finding your perfect date only to discover that you are not actually hers now is there?