New Connection for Gay Asylum Seekers

gayimmigrantsDue to oppressive anti-LGBT laws and social cultures in almost 80 countries, the U.S. is a frequent destination for LGBT individuals fleeing persecution. Are you an asylum seekers arriving in the U.S. or abroad?

The problems facing asylum seekers into the U.S. and How we can help:
You may be without any permanent legal status and are not entitled to a free attorney, leaving you to navigate a foreign legal system without a lawyer. Once an asylum application has been submitted, asylum seekers are prohibited from working in the U.S. for 180 days – a process that often takes much longer. As you can imagine, the challenges associated with moving to a new country without the ability to earn an income makes it hard to meet even the basic human necessities of food and shelter. To help LGBT asylum seekers in the we have made this post to see if we can make connections for you so you do not have to fend for yourself.

Just this year the Supreme Court ensured that all same-sex couples, including binational couples, will have the same rights as everyone else. A big turning point here in the United States and we hope we can match you with the right connection to be apart of this great future.

Fill out the form below and let us know if you are already in the United States or anywhere from Russia to Syria to Iran.

If you are approached by someone seeking asylum because they have been persecuted for their sexual orientation let us talk to them and try to connect them with someone who can help. We are starting a network of people including possible personal connections now that gay marriage is legal here in the U.S. Let us know where they are, who you are or what you think you need for help to get out of living in violence and harassment in your home country.

Why gays can’t fall in love and find our prince charming

lonelygayI know that I am sick of this sadness, loneliness, and the disconnection from others. Aren’t you? What can we do to look at the man in the mirror like Michael Jackson said and make a change? First, we must recognize the problem at hand.

We would rather be socially-accepted than loved.
We spend too much time trying to be in the cool crowd. We are so obsessed with fitting in and being liked that we tend to ignore being loved by another. We’d rather sit at the cool table than hanging out with a man we really like by ourselves. We worry way too much about status doing things like Facebook posts and hoping for likes on our selfies to make us feel better. Also worry way too much about what others say about us.

Social media has killed intimacy
It’s impossible to show our true identities when we’re constantly hiding behind a Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Grindr page. While this medium allows us to connect it has rid us the ability to really get to know each another. Love is chemistry felt in reality not something that can be substituted.

We spend too much time waiting for Prince Charming
The perfect man who will rescue us but forgetting our Prince Charming is also waiting for someone to rescue him. Everyone wants to be rescued with a Disney fairy tale endings. Give some bait and hopefully someone will bite by throwing yourself out there instead of remaining silent. Life is too short.
We think love is supposed to come easy. It is a challenge for most of us.
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Gay Bro Code Revealed (Part I)

I grew up closeted as a cool, straight masculine guys-guy. I played team sports in high school, I joined a frat at a big party college. I’ve spent time with my dad and his close guy friends. At any given time, I could jump back into my past tribes with my fratty, sporty guy groups- not as a closeted, self-denial, person, but as my fully fledged gay persona self. The reason I will always be part of those circles is simple. I understand and adhere to the sacred bro code. It sounds silly, and is absurd and it is offensive, no doubt. Yet there is an unspoken, understood committed list of rules that straight ‘bros’ adhere to.

I rarely see my old frat boys anymore (now it seems I only encounter the newly closeted finds on grindr). All of my close friends are gay.  I witness things get turning ugly when my gay friends are on the same pursuit. I’ve had my closest gay friends try to seduce my own dates out from under me- while on the date- and then adding my dates on facebook and texting them. The craziest thing of all is that they are totally unaware of what they are  doing, and totally oblivious that they have crossed any lines of decency. Instead of getting angry, I realized The Bro Code of honor and respect is missing from gay friends. They are completely clueless. For whatever reasons (ask your therapist or read The Velvet Rage gay boys haven’t learned the standards of male bromanship. Or to be more politically correct, male friendship social courtesy and respect. Read more »

The Gay Bro Code: Duties of Being a Wingman

The Gay Bro Code:
1) Loyalty to your bro at all times above all. If you promise something you must keep the promise.
Always.
2) Anytime it is requested that you wingman, you are obligated and required. However, you can only be
asked to do this once a week, unless you owe favors.
3) When playing the role of a wingman you cannot fail. The wingman job is very important. (more on the
all important wingman duties and obligations HERE)
4) It is your duty to prevent ugly or embarrassing tricks. The exception being a totally sober bro
explaining why he is doing it. Then you are off the hook for any responsibility.
5) Keep the family out of it- no hook ups with a bro’s relatives (close straight friends included unless
cleared well in advance). Read more »

It’s Never Too Late To Find Your Own Lesbian Valentine

You may have looked around and watched many loving couples celebrating Valentines Day this year. Were you disgusted that you had to spend this special Holiday by yourself? Do you dread spending another Valentines by yourself? You really ought to considering actually doing something about it! Lesbian online dating is easier and faster than ever, so the odds are if you start looking for someone right now, you’ll have an exciting date with a new potential soulmate in time for your own holiday celebration.

Valentines Day isn’t just about chocolates, flowers and gifts – it has a deeper more intimate meaning for romantic couples who want to express their true love for each other. Having someone special in your life, worthy of that excitement and passionate about giving it back to you as good as they get it from you is what dating should be all about. That’s where experts like Girlfriends Meet editor Julie Kanako can be very helpful with simple tips to turn next Valentines day into a successful holiday.

“What we want everyone to know is that being single isn’t some kind of curse on Valentines Day” said Ms. Kanako “There are millions of single ladies online right now going through exactly the same kinds of apprehension that you might be feeling, and that shared emotional angst may actually be exactly the kind of common ground that a lasting lesbian romance is built upon. The mistake is to let yourself falsely believe you are the last single lesbian lady on Earth tonight, when in fact there are more people looking for love than there are who have found the committed relationship or casual encounter they seek. Keep your chin up, get online and don’t block yourself from having a great time!’

As with any other aspect of internet activity, your online romantic prospects are exactly what YOU make of them. Taking a few minutes to create a completely free lesbian online dating site account and filling in the basic profile information is an excellent investment in your future (for example Valentines day 2014). We all know it doesn’t guarantee you’ll find the love of your life that same day. The possibility does exist at the very least you’ll be positioning yourself for a much more gratifying Holiday schedule in the months or years to come, alongside someone you can date with pride!

Where Do I Go From Here?

There comes a point to our lives where we look around us and think why am I here. I have been to college and earned a degree, been to high school and earned a diploma, lived at both my mom and dads house and somehow lived through that. Meet the former President Bill Clinton and his wife. I have ran a business and been successful after working for large corporations.

The problem is that all that really matters to me right now is my personal life not my money or what people think of me. What I mean by this is where is that love that I always hoped for and dreamed of. What is life if you can’t share it with someone? Why fight for gay marriage if I can’t even find a boyfriend that stays around for more than an hour.
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Happy Gay Valentines Day!

Whether you have a partner, lover, pet, or really just love yourself dearly we hope you enjoy a wonderful Valentines Day but remember that it should be shared everyday not just one day a year. As Ru Paul says it best you have to love yourself before you can love somebody else. That is so true and we wished there were more love in the world. Gay Marriage has became legal now in Washington and we could not be more happier to see this and would like to see it in at least one Southern state before the end of the year. You know the states where you can retire such as Florida or California. Hint Hint. Remember do not take your date to Taco Bell tonight but upgrade to Chipotle. Click below for more fabulous Valentines day e-cards.
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Should I get a restraining order for an ex-bf

As Paris Hilton would say that it is time to TTYN well that does not mean come back and text 5 min later because there is a major difference in TTYN and TTYL. Coming from a Facebook discussion earlier one of the former boyfriends said “This is getting really bad, and I’m actually kinda getting scared. My ex bf is becoming threatening , and threatening other people. He’s already yelled at other guys just for talking to me. and now he’s threatening me. I’m getting scared about him, what do I do?”
A few replies:
1. Or you can be Southernly Sweet with him like, “Honey pot, look here now, you needa quit ackin like you crazy b4 people startin to think you’s crazy and quit threatenenin all my friends now ya here or you gon make me does somethin that ain’t right pretty here in the Eyes of God now. So go on, child. Move on b4 yo ass get a dent in the back of yo head the size of this hear cast iron skillet.”
2. It’s Like Reading A Good Book’ But Doesn’t Look Like It Going To Be A Happy ending’ Eather way ‘ But I Like A good Story line’ Oh Well any how keep a eye on him’ he sound’s like a stalker to me’
Basically he told him he needs to stop, or I he get a restraining order
The best advice was to be calm about things and do not talk down to him. You may also want to keep copies of everything he’s ever sent you or your friends. You can use it as evidence in court. If you ever feel scared like he’s really going to do something just call the police.

Zoosk dating site to find that someone?

Dating and hook-up sites have been around for a while now and there are loads of them to choose from when you want to join an online community and maybe find that special person. I have to admit that I’d never heard of Zoosk (just their Facebook ads) before and so I thought I would give it a trial run. I started with the first basic page and followed the procedure for joining; and I thought you might be interested to know how it all works.

Its one of those sites where you need to register before you can do anything, but it took all of one minute to do this and cost me nothing. Enter a valid email address and make up a password, you get a validation email sent to you straight away, you click that, you go back to a new page and enter the two words, by way of a further anti-spam/hack measure, and there you go, you’re in.

So, step one was simple and fast. Step two was slightly more involved and here is where it is important to remember the number one rule of joining a dating/hook-up site: be honest. There is no point in putting you details down in such a way that you appear to be some kind of Greek good, or goddess, when you’re not – it will only lead to disappointment later. The first page of details is a simple one with the basics like your name, the name you want to be known by, your age and basic stats, and the ‘match’ you are looking for – this is a site for gay, straight, and bi folk, all sexualities are welcome. Some fields are required here, you have to fill them out, others are not and you can even skip the page if you want to. I won ‘two Zoosk Coins; for logging in, but as I’d not seen any other details about the site yet I had no idea what that meant.

Now you run through the other parts of the setting up process, your location, more about you, you can download a chat player for later use, you can upload photos, put down what your likes and dislikes are, tell your story and put in some answers to the ‘ice breakers’ questions, to give some more background., All this goes on your ‘date card.’

So far the process had been easy and simple and you can miss it all out if you simply want to explore the site. Finally getting round to the home page (I did have to set my location before I could do that), I had a search option already set for me, but I could change it, there was news on recent community posts, and some boxes showing me my profile status. There wasn’t much else here as the location I had chosen was obviously a quiet one, there were no local events posted, but had I been in, say, London there may have been loads. But I tried the search, to see if there was anyone else registered within 30 kilometres of where I lived. There were! (Exclamation mark because I am very remote.)

And what was nice here was that Zoosk works like a cross between a standard dating site and something like Facebook – I could send winks, and gifts, chat privately and send private emails. There are also various other ways to search, you’ve got a private email box, plenty of help and even safety tips for blind dating, you can report profiles and abuse, and there is a forum.

It’s all rather new here but obviously growing fast due to the free sign up – I wondered how they made their money, and then noticed that you can upgrade for premium services, have more activity and get further involved, but the prices were very reasonable.

But what I liked most about Zoosk, compared to other dating sites, is that it was well designed, easy to use and fast, and I found members who fitted my ‘match’ locally, and, considering where I live, that really is saying something. Find and meet gay men here.

Night Starts out A-List, Ends With Psychotic Behavior

Once you think you know someone you never do until you spend more time with them than the presentation they give out a bar, office, or social outing for the few minutes you may see them,. You may base your trust on someone you know for years but have you spent an entire weekend with them or even a few months living together as roomates. With some people their true colors do not come out until you have spent hour after hours together to really tell how their seasons and personalities change and how dangerous that person could be.

I knew this boy from the club for years and always thought he was one of the hottest guys out and probably was. His eyes blue and breathtaking and his smile, skin, and energy were always something that could pull a spell on anyone. Much less the fact that he is tall and gorgeous. seeing him out everyone must think I would like to get with him someday.

Unfortunately, that day came.. It was a miserable weekend of non-stop hell and yes now I know the meaning of what hell is and what the devil sounds like. The first night out at the club he started going off on my friend after a couple of drinks and telling him he had a receeding hairline among other rude things to him that were just uncalled for and plain mean. My friend was so drunk he did not respond the way most would have wo may have punched him in the face or walked away and gotten away from the crazy at hand.

The second episode was when we were standing by the back bar of the club and near the bathroom. This guy I know drags me in the bathroom to talk to me about something and this kid I brought out gets into a spat with him on the way into the bathroom to where he comes in the bathroom telling us to get out all loudly. Ok, so can a person not talk quietly in a bathroom for once?

Next day he was normal laying on the couch cuddling watching TV and being normal. We went to eat Mexican food and did not even have a drink just drank Tea. Went home relaxed and then later got ready to go out to the club again. This time he meet some guy that produced music or something and he kept hitting on him or talking to him for over an hour holding us in a spot forever. When we finally got away from all the useless talk (this guy was obviously hitting on him and kept grabbing at him but using business talk to excite him) we were able to go dance for a bit. Then we decided to hit up another club with more of a circuit beat. We headed here where the cover was $20 each. Yes I paid it all. Thought he would get in a better mood but after all his intakes of alcohol and whatever else he must have done with people while he was in the bathroom so long his mood went totally extreme and bipolar could not even describe it. He went up to the bar ordered a drink and expected me to pay. I said I thought you had some money.. He said no quit embarassing me and pay now and to never embarrass him again. I said OK and paid just to stop the scene.

He then tried to lay me down for embarrassing him by not paying for a drink readily after I already paid his cover to two bars, bought dinner, among other things. Maybe he didn’t really need that drink after all because we know after what happens next he certainly could not handle it. Next he goes out to the car with the police in the parking lot causing a scene saying that he wants to go home now. I was not about to leave with all the police in the parking lot and wanted to dance off my buzz. I am all about dancing before trying to drink. So I left him in the car shortly after he threatened me and said I did not know who he was and that his people would come after me, he then threatened to hit me and that is when I ran inside the club. Of course, you can’t call the police or anything when you both been drinking you will both goto jail for public detox or something. Plus I felt sorry for him and still do so its really hard to say no to him or even send him his way all alone with no one really to help him. He was too much for me to help though way too much above my pay grade in terms of mental patients. I have dealt with many people who desperately need anti-depressants and many people who desperately do not need any meds. I have dealt with a woman who tried to kill herself and then she ended up doing it in her garage another day even though we stopped her the first time. I have woken up with people trying to overdose on ambiens. But his force and threat level that he goes to in a 180 degree shift is really scary. How he can be so normal, smart, and nice, and beautiful one minute then give him an hour and its like the Devil came out.

So I still was not able to get him out of my car and he stayed with me another night which went ok during the day we watched TV all day and relaxed. Ate pizza and once again he seemed so normal. Then 10’0clock rolls around and we get ready for the club have a cocktail and things still normal. Then make it out to the club he starts wanting a drink every few min and going in the bathroom again. By the time we all walk out to the car he is fighting with my friend out in the parking lot and this even brings about a huge dent in my car that my cost thousands to repair which he cars nothing about. Tried to call him a cab to his house but he would not answer us about where to have the cab go. He said his phone was in my car and it was not. He must have lost it in the club. He said he would call the police because his phone was in my car. So I then took him to my friends house and his neighbor called him a cab.. the same thing I was hoping to do. This is after he started moving towards me in a violent matter threatening me again with loud devil sounds and fists. I ran out of my car scared of him at this point but then he finally got out but he was chasing after my friend going off on him. I ran to the car started it and went around the block to have my friend meet me to give him his stuff so I could get away from him. I was about to lose it. I had never seen anything like it.

I guess it just comes down to the fact that if you sense someone is off their rocker or could become a bipolar tragedy stay far away. This is hard to say because I know many of these types in the gay community. Especially see this a lot in the Dallas clubs and parties. I hope it is not a gay gene or something. It is really scary how many act this way but this kid was the worst I have ever seen and it scares me. Its almost like they imagine things or have dementia but yet finally get their sense back and remember it all when they are sober.

It is hard to really know if someone is completely like this though until you do spend some time with them and when you do it might be too late. It was too late on my date because I could not get him off my hands and I tried and tried to call him a cab or take him where he needed to go. I cannot afford to have that kind of liability around me and neither can a nightclub or any business.

I would like to know how to handle people like this the next time because it seemed everything failed that I tried to do. One minute this guy seems so A-list and fabulous and then the next minute hes like Austin on NYC A-List who seems kind of loose cannon but this kid is much worse. If there is help for these people let me know. I am not sure its the drinking, or his prescription pills it may be other issues.

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