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lonelygayI know that I am sick of this sadness, loneliness, and the disconnection from others. Aren’t you? What can we do to look at the man in the mirror like Michael Jackson said and make a change? First, we must recognize the problem at hand.

We would rather be socially-accepted than loved.
We spend too much time trying to be in the cool crowd. We are so obsessed with fitting in and being liked that we tend to ignore being loved by another. We’d rather sit at the cool table than hanging out with a man we really like by ourselves. We worry way too much about status doing things like Facebook posts and hoping for likes on our selfies to make us feel better. Also worry way too much about what others say about us.

Social media has killed intimacy
It’s impossible to show our true identities when we’re constantly hiding behind a Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Grindr page. While this medium allows us to connect it has rid us the ability to really get to know each another. Love is chemistry felt in reality not something that can be substituted.

We spend too much time waiting for Prince Charming
The perfect man who will rescue us but forgetting our Prince Charming is also waiting for someone to rescue him. Everyone wants to be rescued with a Disney fairy tale endings. Give some bait and hopefully someone will bite by throwing yourself out there instead of remaining silent. Life is too short.
We think love is supposed to come easy. It is a challenge for most of us.

lonelyboygayFall in Love or become too comfortable too quick
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket time and time again especially when meeting a guy on a first date. You will then start treating each other like an old married couple rather than letting the passion sizzle for a while. Don’t rush everything and build things up to make it stronger.

lonelygayOur standards are too high to reach
Perfection is something you’ll never reach. This will assure you’re disappointed in everyone you meet and you’ll get the same outcome. The longer you believe in perfection the more heartache you’re going to have.

Casual sex into an expectation.
Apps have pressured young gays into thinking it’s okay to put sex before a real connection mostly because if we feel that if there is no sex we are some how rejected and will never meet again. We have always been into casual sex and getting off being young and full of cum but never has it been so available. It’s more convenient and takes less time than conversation and getting to know someone. This ultimately affects the way we perceive love. It’s too bad that older gay men fail to pass their wisdom onto younger gays because they could really give us advice on meeting someone and you know… having a good conversation.

lonelywhispergayboyWe have become too egocentric.
Where we think about our needs first and foremost. In our community egos are turned into an artificial tool.
We’ve become too busy focusing on our own selves that we forget how to empathize with another human. We tell each other to concentrate on what we want, what we need, and what we feel like we deserve, rather what we can do for others. This will kill a relationship faster than anything and no one wants to date someone who puts his needs at the end of the list.

We need to avoid the distractions like smart phones our TV shows we can’t miss and get out there and find someone. We are wasting our lives and need to wake up. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Don’t scroll, click, refresh it away. Be here, now. Show up. Care about shit. Care about others. Care about yourself. Be better than this. Let’s all do this!!