I grew up closeted as a cool, straight masculine guys-guy. I played team sports in high school, I joined a frat at a big party college. I’ve spent time with my dad and his close guy friends. At any given time, I could jump back into my past tribes with my fratty, sporty guy groups- not as a closeted, self-denial, person, but as my fully fledged gay persona self. The reason I will always be part of those circles is simple. I understand and adhere to the sacred bro code. It sounds silly, and is absurd and it is offensive, no doubt. Yet there is an unspoken, understood committed list of rules that straight ‘bros’ adhere to.
I rarely see my old frat boys anymore (now it seems I only encounter the newly closeted finds on grindr). All of my close friends are gay. I witness things get turning ugly when my gay friends are on the same pursuit. I’ve had my closest gay friends try to seduce my own dates out from under me- while on the date- and then adding my dates on facebook and texting them. The craziest thing of all is that they are totally unaware of what they are doing, and totally oblivious that they have crossed any lines of decency. Instead of getting angry, I realized The Bro Code of honor and respect is missing from gay friends. They are completely clueless. For whatever reasons (ask your therapist or read The Velvet Rage gay boys haven’t learned the standards of male bromanship. Or to be more politically correct, male friendship social courtesy and respect. Read more »