A mention of Cheryl B.’s forthcoming anthology Coming Out of the Closet Again: Queer Women on Loving Men got me looking around for any word on when it will be released. One thing I found during my unsuccessful search is an article, from 2001, titled “Coming out of the closet — to be straight” (only half of this piece is available to those who are not Salon.com Premium members).
Melissa Levine was 28 when she realized that she had no sexual interest in women (though she had exclusively dated them) and only wanted to be with men; that she was straight.
I love women; I connect with women. Three times in eight years, I have fallen in love with women — women I would have committed my life to, if I could have. And for me, this love translated into romance, and then into sex, though only briefly.
I wanted the lesbian life, complete with herbal tea, incestuous friendships and golden retrievers. I cherished the emotional intimacy and craved the freedom, power and joy of the queer community, which looked like home. But when I finally had that dream within my reach, I couldn’t do it. I was in love with my girlfriend, but I didn’t want to have sex with her.
I have no idea how difficult it is to come out as straight to those you’ve shared a lesbian life with. I do, however, remember the outrage, years ago, when I dated a trans guy for the first time. I was “working my way back.”
Do you know anyone who came out as straight? I’m wondering what their experience was like. I do believe that it’s probable you will lose people when you come out, as anything. The good thing is you’ll lose the right people.